This Is Still So Funny

Chapters: 9/14 Fandom: Malevolent (Podcast) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Arthur Lester/John Doe, John Doe & Parker Yang Characters: Arthur Lester, John Doe, (Characters to be added as they appear) Additional Tags: longfic, Rescue Missions, Dark World, Spoilers Through Coda, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, AU - Canon Divergence before Coda, Corporeal!John, John POV, Arthur POV, CW: Temporary Death of Several Characters (Most of Which Are Dead Before The Story Starts) Series: Part 2 of a universe that doesn’t care and people who do (Lighthouse) Summary:

After the events in Innsmouth, Arthur has been given a weighty sentence: Kayne, sending everyone he ever loved to the Dark World. Arthur flees Earth to do what he can. Though John is left behind, he vows to find him again. Arthur tries to save those he loves and a furious John tries to track him down, it becomes clear that fighting against an eldritch god is a game you’re destined to lose - and it might not just be Arthur’s loved ones who need saving.

Over the Garden Wall (2014), dir. Nate Cash — Chapter 1: The Old Grist Mill

oh to be a pup being painted - by William Henry Hamilton Trood (1848-1899). 

Tumblr on the Seven Seas

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it

🌅 castedaway Follow

No wenches?

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank

🌅 castedaway Follow

AHOY???

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys

🌴 pegmeg

nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠

768 notes

🗡wagscallion Follow

everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"

💨 matelotsaboteur

Really makes you think

2,041 notes

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously

🕺 crossdressing101 Follow

mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,

34 notes

⛵ privatesteer Follow

wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'

🧜‍♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow

աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?

⛵ privatesteer Follow

no thanks

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

i have drowned at sea

36,251 notes

⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow

14,811 notes

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today

💦 longjohngolder Follow

girl its not that deep ☠

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

to YOU. i just get it

1,147 notes

🙍‍♂️ dudeindistress Follow

honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held

4,733 notes

🦜 pollypockets Follow

SQUAWK

🐦 aviated Follow

CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK

🦜 pollypockets Follow

CA-CAW

790 notes

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

i think i hauve scurvy

142 notes

🌊 swabmydick Follow

mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating

🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205

wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this

🌊 swabmydick Follow

i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???

🌴 pegmeg

op killed them

🌊 swabmydick Follow

even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠

96,538 notes

I've started Master and Commander, and 2 hours in I have the following to report:

They're doing the fastest Enemies to Friends to Shipmate Speedrun.

Each of them infodumping in turn, then talking about music.

They have the following DELIGHTFUL exchange, about Castillan and Catalan (as best as I can remember it):"But they're quite similar? A putain, as they say in French? - Oh non, they're different languages. And a patois, if you please. - Oh ? I'm sure the other word exists, I think I've heard it."

A guy who Jack is talking to for the first time snitches on another by saying that he's gay. Then asks what Jack thinks of this "buggery business".

For the record, Jack is against it, but doesn't like to see a man hang for it. It turns out that Lt Snitch doesn't really have anything concrete, it's more of a vibe-based accusation.

I'm letting all nautical talk gently flow through me without making any impression. I think Maturin is doing the same.

I have some extra audible credits. Would you recommend using them on the Aubrey-Maturin serie?

always

Yk sometimes i think getting caught up in 70s dm makes me lose appreciation for the fact that if 70s dm didnt happen then thats actually equally insane. Like Daniel and Armand having a whole multiyear romance Daniel forgot about is fucking crazy, but so is the fact that armand broke his vow of never making a fledgling for this guy after knowing him for a cumulative two weeks. At least if the 70s happened he could have had a respectable period of becoming obsessed with him. If they truly hadnt seen each other in 50 years and Armand just looney tunes tripped and fell into being in love with this guy thats actually also crazy.

Update: I did a very chaotic run (not trying to be an asshole but also doing all the drugs all at once) and Kim is angelically patient. But you still get moments like these:

And it took all I had not to immediately turn this whole playthrough around. One day my little completionist heart might want to do the fascist vision vision quest but I don't know if I have it in me. I want to do Kim simp run now.

BUT I also put a lot of point in Physique which means I got to see more of Shivers and other dialogue options. Some of my favorites:

You get more occasions to see people comment on your different situationships.

I did the ultraliberal quest and it's darkly funny to me that I sometimes wondered which dialogue option was the ultraliberal and which one was the fascist.

I also wanted to see the ending if you finish the game with Cuno, so I didn't try to warn Kim at the tribunal. I feel like a traitor. Since I have finished the game with Kim before, I knew what he would have said and having Cuno not knowing what you're talking about (or not fucking caring, 'cause Cuno Doesn't Fucking Care) was TORTURE. Esprit de Corps also interjects with vision of what Kim is doing. Just to hurt me, I think. The worst one, in my opinion, is that you can't get a picture of the phasmid and get this instead.

But a legendary Half-light check let me convince Kim to wear the jacket, so I guess it was all worth it in the end.

Help I want to do a different playthrough of Disco Elysium but I am afraid of disappointing Kim.

It seems like the SAG-AFTRA has a deal too !

So the trailer for Our Flag Means Death Season 2 just went live on youtube, and this is the top comment. I agree with it wholeheartedly.

I was right

I am not trying to ruffle any feathers, but I have to say this before Season 2 comes out, so I can act smug when I’m right. Here is my number one prediction for Good Omens Season 2:

There won’t be a voice-over.

Now hang on. I know it’s a controversial opinion. Let me explain.

I have noticed that virtually every adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s books has some sort of voice over, either diagetic (like Going Postal, where it’s part of the framing device) or non-diagetic (Hogfather). And I get it ! If you’ve read any of the Discworld book and have this weird brain quirk where a part of you is always thinking about how this would translate on screen, you’ve probably noticed two things:

1. There’s visual humour in text form. How ? This man was a genius and a will be missed forever.

2. There’s so much that just can’t be translated on a purely visual level. The footnotes! Should we just leave the footnotes out ? They’re so great! They add so much to the world in general. There are running jokes that only appear in the footnotes ! Should we just accept that it won’t make it to screen ?

Yes. I’m sorry, but yes. Some things will be lost. Maybe you can integrate one of these jokes as recurring background events ? A lot of people are not going to notice though. There’s an expectation that the reader will read all of the words, while the viewer may not see all that’s happening on screen (although, to be fair, you will be noticing new puns on every re-read for years in the case of the Discworld).

(In comparison, adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s work are less prone to voice over. If I remember correctly, Coraline didn’t have one. Sandman starts with a bit of voice-over from the main character, but nothing more after that. I don’t remember any in American Gods. MirrorMask has left me nothing but the memory of a fever dream, so I can’t be sure. )

This is not to say that the voice-over in season one was pointless. It establishes the tone, to start with. If you remember, the opening narration is about the age of the Earth, in which we learn that it was created on the 21st of October, 4004 B.C., and therefore learn its star sign. It’s a good way to show that yes, there are angels in this, and demons, and the garden of Eden, and if you want to think too hard about this, they’ve got you covered. But if you think that these depictions are either blasphemous or religious propaganda, it might be a good time to learn to take a step back (and a joke, in my personal opinion).

But there are definitely instances of narration that would never have happened if season 1 wasn’t a book adaptation. I am thoroughly convinced that Dog’s experimentation with chasing and being chased by cats would have been screen only. Maybe a scene. Maybe something happening in he background. Who knows.

And here’s the thing. Season 2 isn’t the adaptation of a novel. I remember a tweet by Neil Gaiman about how he and Pratchett had a sequel plotted out, but even that isn’t season 2. According to the same, tweet, Season 2 is how we get there.

My number 2 prediction is that there will be a an intense heist scene during which Sadie and Dottie both try to steal some incriminating letters unbeknownst to each other.