“‘Sam Vimes Once Arrested Me For Treason,’ Said Vetinari Calmly. ‘And Sam Vimes Once Arrested

i am chronically online but not in a way that others recognise unless they are also an active tumblr user in the year 2023 🫡

desperate times and measures and so forth, to be fair, but if the entity living in my eyeballs after getting catapulted there from a magic book who’s familiar with various otherworldly shit that I just found out existed earlier that day said they had a bad feeling about going into a dilapidated house in an isolated clearing, I would not go into that house

We're all having a very normal election time.

Goddamn voting website is not working are you fucking kidding me

Sam Vimes-core

I love how when we are first introduced to Vetinari, he's this all-powerful tyrant with spies everywhere, twenty steps ahead of everyone else, of whom people aren't even sure is human and then he proceeds to spend pretty much 90% of his time in the Watch books and The Truth being a damsel in distress (often with Vimes co-starring as the knight in shining armour) and is still seen as this all-powerful tyrant. Vimes hears someone call Vetinari unkillable and has to stop himself from snorting.

there was something at about the lighting and stainless steel while i was cleaning up at work that made me go WAIT HOLD UP GOTTA GRAB ME CAMERA

I’m on a roll, you guys

whoever decided to start implementing ads on here that automatically unmute and cut off any music app you might have on in the background as you scroll by should be hunted for sport

”Hey Kellin, your mother was a whore!” is still one of the funniest and most batshit lines in Malevolent because it comes directly out of left field. Whores are literally never referenced again (except as a callback to that line, which happens the very same episode). John nor Yellow nor the King ever make reference to any other hypothetical whores or slutshaming in any regard. The Entity just decided to be a bitch like that. It’s like a preteen who learned precisely one swear and is trying to shock you by saying it as loudly and as clearly as possible to get a reaction out of you. Who taught him those words. Where is his mother.