i’m really beginning to feel lost when it comes to my feelings for this guy i work with. it truly feels like i am so small in his eyes, and i never know how to move forward. this is so out of the norm for me and it frustrates me that i feel powerless around him. i keep calling him pet names like, “babe, honey, sweetheart, pretty boy, etc.”, but i do that with literally everyone. i’m so bad at flirting and i really don’t think he would be receptive to that. he’s so charming, funny, goofy, and hot. but he’s talking to a different guy, and i feels like i’m too late. it all seems so pointless in the grand scheme of things. i don’t believe i’m his type, both physically and personally, and i don’t know him outside of work. but it’s terrifying to try for more. it makes me vulnerable and i feel worthless, disposable, unwanted.
this always happens to me though. i always catch feelings for some guy, and it literally has always ended the same; me hating myself for thinking it was a good idea and that i had even the slightest chance. it’s so hard to not think that i’m meant to be alone when rejection is so consistent. i’m running out of patience for my own self. i can’t keep letting myself put so much hope and emotion in finding that one person who will like/love me when so many people have turned the other way. when all of these things are stacked on top of me, it is so difficult to find a reason to keep trying and being open. i’ve been single for years already and it’s becoming easier to turn off this yearning to be with someone, until those moments like now. when someone draws your attention and you feel like they could be yours and this could be the chance. but 9.9 times out of 10 it isn’t. and the 1.1% chance that it could be, doesn't seem worth it anymore.
so, who knows what could happen between me and the guy honestly. but my track record shows what is most likely to happen. it sucks, it really does, but that’s just my love life... lonely.
You shouldn’t have had to give up your voice to be heard.
💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚
happy pride to all the twentysomethings on the aromantic and asexual spectrums who turned away from the identity for years because of the aphobic vitriol spouted on this website and have only recently come back around to accepting that part of ourselves because fuck you to all the people within the community who made us feel like we weren’t a part of it. we are. we always will be.
💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚
Buck: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?
Bobby: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.
Eddie: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.
Chim: Rock also defeats baby.
Omg...... 🙊
Halle KILLED it as Ariel!!!! 💯
I'm at a loss of words.... 🥹 So overcome with emotion right now. 😢
That movie was so beautiful. 🥰
Can't talk much about it right now, but I'm def going to do a movie review later.
This was just so well done..... And this movie is going to make a KILLING at the box office rofl 🤣
I'm so happy for her! 😭
i know a lot of people feel like you can't enjoy how a trans person looks until after surgery or hormones, but there are a lot of pre-everything trans aesthetics that i quite enjoy. i love trans men and transmascs who dye their already present mustaches to be dark and bold. it's sexy and cute. i love trans women with flat chests who wear deep cut shirts and dresses. it's sexy. i love the way transmasc and transfem voices sound before hormones. i love watching someone evolve. it's an extremely beautiful part of the journey, and should be appreciated, too
Something about I'm not over it, not over her...
and
The things that make you sad, am I one of them?
And the opening Pepa offered Eddie, that she didn't get it right the first time, either. "Right" being the forever love that Eddie's heart so clearly longs for.
Sometimes it takes three tries to get it right.
I'm still chewing on this, but there's something about how Eddie believes that in order to accept his love for Buck — to allow himself permission to love Buck — he would have to regret Shannon. And Christopher. Loving Buck would mean he never loved Shannon, shouldn't ever have been with her, therefore no Christopher. Which is such an unacceptable, alien concept, Eddie stays stuck.
But Pepa offered him a different view. Sometimes, it takes three tries to get it right. And all those "tries" are part of the process. Eddie is learning that he gets to hold all of it, that he doesn't have to choose. That Shannon's ghost — not her death but their life together — and Christopher and his forever love with Buck? All of them are part of who Eddie is — part of his heart — and always will be.
It's all very queer awakening in adulthood. Eddie is about to set himself free and finally allow his heart to have what it wants. What a wondrous thing to behold.
Week 1: July 10th - July 16th
Episodes 1x01 - 1x04
Week 2: July 17th - July 23rd
Episodes 1x05 - 1x08
Week 3: July 24th - July 30th
Episodes 1x09 - 2x02
Week 4: July 31st - August 6th
Episodes 2x03 - 2x06
Week 5: August 7th - August 13th
Episodes 2x07 - 2x10
Week 6: August 14th - 20th
Episodes 2x11 - 2x14
Week 7: August 21st - August 27th
Episodes 2x15 - 2x18
Week 8: August 28th - September 3rd
Episodes 3x01 - 3x04
Week 9: September 4th - September 10th
Episodes 3x05 - 3x08
Week 10: September 11th - September 17th
Episodes 3x09 - 3x12
Week 11: September 18th - September 24th
Episodes 3x13 - 3x16
Week 12: September 25th - October 1st
Episodes 3x17- 4x02
Week 13: October 2nd - October 8th
Episodes 4x03 - 4x06
Week 14: October 9th - October 15th
Episodes 4x07 - 4x10
Week 15: October 16th - October 22nd
Episodes 4x11 - 4x14
Week 16: October 23rd - October 29th
Episodes 5x01 - 5x04
Week 17: October 30th - November 5th
Episodes 5x05 - 5x08
Week 18: November 6th - November 12th
Episodes 5x09 - 5x12
Week 19: November 13th - November 19th
Episodes 5x13 - 5x16
Week 20: November 20th - November 26th
Break
Week 21: November 27th - December 3rd
Episodes 5x17 - 6x02
Week 22: December 4th - December 10th
Episodes 6x03 - 6x06
Week 23: December 11th - December 17th
Episodes 6x07 - 6x09
*only 3 episodes
Week 24: December 18th - December 24th
Break
Week 25: December 25th - December 31st
Break
Week 26: January 1st - January 7th
Break
Week 27: January 8th - January 14th
Episodes 6x10 - 6x14
*5 episodes so 6x10 & 6x11 are in the same week
Week 28: January 15th - January 21st
Episodes 6x15 - 6x18
*will adjust the January schedule if needed when we’re given a premiere date
Find the event info here.
Discovering and Rediscovering Me, while Adapting, Changing, and Evolving along the Way - Public Diary21 y/o Black, Non-Binary, Queer Individual with Dreams, and a Life to Live and a Story to Share TW: Abuse, Su*c*de Attempt, Su*c*dal Ideation, Depression, Anxiety
162 posts