Canon. Change my mind
Robin era Jason, who's going after the Riddler with Batman, and one of the Riddles is some kind of literary reference, so Jason solves it easily but when he gets to the location the riddle hinted at, it's wrong????
And it haunts him the whole time until they finally catch the Riddler and Jason gets to ask him about it before he gets locked up again, and turns out the Riddler just confused two diffrent barely similar quotes or something.
And Jason LOSES HIS MIND.
HE LOST SLEEP OVER THIS??! THIS?!?! HE THOUGHT HIS KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG HE HAD TO REOPEN THE ORIGINAL NOVEL, HE'S BEEN CARRYING ON HIM FOR THE REST OF THE INVESTIGATION JUST IN CASE-
Anyways Batman barely manages to save the Riddler from getting a papercover volume shoved down his throat.
Don’t mind me, just thinking about a young, twenty-something Bruce Wayne guiding Dick’s hand as he learns to write his letters, teaching Jason how to ride a bike, putting Power Ranger stickers on Tim’s knees, leaving Tooth Fairy Money under Stephanie’s pillow, playing hide-and-seek with Cassandra, watching Damian play with dogs at the dog park, and helping Duke with his algebra homework on the kitchen counter. You know, dad stuff.
Ok so I have this hc that I want other ppl besides me to see, and if anybody wanted to turn this into a fic; I would be yours because I can’t write for shit
(This also might trigger some people so please proceed with caution.)
(TW: SA )
…
Anyway, I’ve always liked the idea of Bruce protecting his kids as Bruce Wayne, so hear me out.
The batfam are at a gala minus Alfred because I see it being someone else’s gala that they have to attend. The POV would start with Tim and jump to Bruce later but I digress..
So Tim is forever 17 and has just come out as Bi and this is the first gala that he attends after that and some grown man comes up to him and starts hitting on him. The man is being very inappropriate with the things he’s saying and the way he’s touching Tim
And even though Tim is Red Robin; he freezes because he’s also Tim Drake and those ideologies are still ingrained into him to not make a scene. He’s extremely uncomfortable trying to get the man to leave him alone and telling him no.
But the man is not backing down continuing to say things like “ You’re bi, so I know you want it.”, “Don’t be shy. It can be just between you and me” and crowding his space.
And Tim is trying to find a way out. Darting his eyes around looking for his siblings but can’t seem to find them.
As he’s looking around, the man starts walking him back towards the hall. Hands trailing down his stomach getting closer to his inner thigh and he forcibly kisses him. Awareness of what this man is trying to do becomes completely apparent. He tries to push the man away but his body isn’t cooperating with him.
He’s scared.
But then he turns his head and see’s Bruce making his way over to him with the deadliest look he’s ever seen him have on his face but he’s grateful because that’s his dad.. not Brucie, but Bruce, his dad is coming to get him out of this situation.
Then it switches to Bruce’s POV
It starts with Bruce in the middle of the gala crowd talking it up as Brucie Wyane and he decides to look around just to check on his kids
He glances over at Dick and Damien together by the food table
Jason and Steph look like their about to do something they shouldn’t
Dukes talking to another attendant of the gala
Cass is beside him but he’s missing one..
He can’t find Tim..
Alarm bells start ringing in his head and he starts to look for Tim more obviously, turning his head left and right. Cass picking up on his distress but not knowing why
Bruce turns his whole body to the back of the gala room and that’s where he finds Tim being crowded by a member of the gala. His immediate instinct is to go to him but stops himself because he’s trying to learn how to give his kids more freedom, and he knows Tim can handle himself. So he stops for a second and takes in the situation.
But the longer he looks he sees that Tim, his son, is completely frozen. A look on his face that says he needs help but can’t get out the words to ask for it. His eyes are darting around frantically like he’s looking for someone. As he’s about to take a step to go help Tim he freezes because the man is walking him back towards the hall way with his hands inching further and further down his stomach dangerously close to places his hands don’t need to be and forcibly kisses him.
He sees Tim squirming trying to push the man away.
and Bruce realizes this man’s intentions.
Tim, his son, is about to be assaulted. The same thing that happened to himself that he couldn’t get out of.. is about to happen to Tim. And he sees the moment Tim recognizes it to in his eyes.
Bruce wastes no more time, he completely ignores the people he was once in a conversation with as they ask him where he’s going. He’s walking quickly towards his son when they make eye contact, he sees the relief wash over his body.
He reaches the man and grabs him. The man turns his head looking like he’s about to say something but blanches from seeing who it is. He doesn’t get a chance to say anything because as soon as he faces Bruce, He gets punched so hard he falls over. The rest of the gala has frozen because Brucie Wyane is punching some random man for seemingly no reason.
And Bruce keeps going, because for once he was there in time to protect one of his kids. The rest of the batfam comes over trying to forcibly pull Bruce off the man. None of them knowing why Bruce started punching the man but knowing one thing..
There is a reason.
When they finally get Bruce off the man. Bruce instantly turns to Tim hugging his son, holding him. Tim is in shock as Bruce keeps asking him if he’s alright. Tim not responding but looks directly into Bruce’s eyes. The man’s blood on Bruce’s knuckles. The complete look of worry written on Bruce’s face as he holds Tim’s in his hands.
And Tim just.. sinks into his arms and holds on so tight to Bruce because his fathers here. His father saved him. He’s okay, He’ll be okay.
The police get called and the man is taken away and they all go home early. That night though, Bruce goes to Tim’s room to check up on him and talk.
He makes sure Tim is okay and finds Tim blaming himself for not being able to get away.
“I’m Red Robin! I have fought worse people than him and won. But all that was going through my head at the time was Jack and Janet “Don’t make a scene” and I froze. I couldn’t get away, I tried but my body wouldn’t listen. I wanted to call out but my voice closed up and I was looking around to- ”
Bruce interrupts him
“ It’s not your fault, you did what you could. This is not your fault Tim, It’s his fault for forcing himself on you. I’ve been there, I know how you feel. it’ll be okay. I promise, I’m right here.”
Tim looks at Bruce because he didn’t know that
“You’ve been.. who?”
Bruce just looks at him. He’s doesn’t need to say anything because he knows Tim will understand anyway. He’s smart like that.
“oh.. Does that mean- ”
Bruce cuts him off again
“Yes, but it was a long time ago, you don’t need to know because I’m okay now. And I want you to know I understand. But can we just keep this between us? No one else needs to know about that, especially Damien.”
“Yea B. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“Me too, but at least I got Damien from it, and I love him just as much as I love you. You are both my children and I would do anything to try to protect you.”
“Thanks B.” He leans in to hug Bruce and they just hold onto each other for a little longer.
“I’ll let you go to sleep chum. Good night Tim” he says as he kisses Tim’s head and ruffles his hair. He heads to the door and turns to look back at Tim
“Goodnight dad.” He says with a small smile
Bruce freezes for a second and sighs with a slight smile on his face. He looks at Tim one last time for the night with all his love for him shining in his eyes and closes the door to go to his room.
By the end of there talk Tim and Bruce are closer than ever because he not only learned something new about Bruce. He now feels more secure in his place in the manor, in the family, as Bruce’s son.

He was brought back by the Justice League, and when he finally got back to Gotham, Tim was nowhere to be found.
Tim hadn't even tried to bring him back.
In fact, Tim had abandoned the hero scene altogether.
Tim. The boy who had sworn that the only way he'd leave the caped life was if he was dead.
Dick is being tight lipped and refusing to say anything on the matter.
Damian clearly knows what's going on but, oddly, refuses to say anything either.
Oracle completely ignores Bruce when he asks, at one point just pretending like he wasn't talking at all.
Cass, however, isn't putting any effort into pretending he isn't asking and is instead completely avoiding him.
Alfred seems to be in the same boat as him, deliberately kept in the dark.
There has to be some sort of reason for it, and Bruce is certain that it's the same reason for all of the avoidance, lies, and Tim's disappearance.
So, against everyone's wishes, he investigates.
Tim isn't in the Manor. Tim isn't in any of his safehouses.
Tim is, in fact, in one of...Jason's safehouses?
After covertly watching from a distance, Bruce discovers three things.
First; while Jason does not appear to be on good terms with Tim, he does view Tim as someone under his protection.
Second; Jason must be getting feedback from Oracle, because Red Hood always finds Batman in five minutes or less when he starts a stake out on Tim.
Third; There are babies in that safehouse. Not toddlers; babies.
He saw one of them through the reinforced window, floating a good two feet off the crib before a panicked and exhausted Tim had snatched it out of the air.
Tim...what has Tim done?
Bruce had heard from Clark that Tim had tried to clone Kon, but had he actually done it?
~~~~~~
While raiding Ra's bases and preparing them to blow, Tim stumbled across three babies. Triplets.
Triplets with superpowers.
Triplets that he knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, Ra's will find again even if he buries them in the Foster system.
Plus, he's heard the horror stories of vulnerable metas fed to the Foster system at a young age.
So.
Okay.
He'll raise them himself.
He's Tim Drake, the kid that blackmailed Batman into taking him on as Robin; raising a few kids can't be that hard. He'll just take care of them during the day, nap when they do, and go do hero stuff at night.
He reaches out to the one person even Ra's would never expect him to willingly work with.
He reaches out to Red Hood.
He hires Red Hood as a bodyguard. It's a purely professional relationship.
Red Hood sets him up in the best safehouse he's got; soundproof, lead-lined walls, hidden weapon caches, the works.
Dick, Damian, and Jason himself think that Tim actually did succeed in cloning Superboy and is taking responsibility for raising the kids.
Damian may not like Drake, but he's snuck into the safehouse and met the triplets, and he may or may not be a little infatuated with them. So he'll keep the secret for them.
Dick and Jason feel like Tim is taking on too many responsibilities, and think he's clearly hiding from the Supers in that safehouse.
Oracle gets her information from Cass, who is the only one who knows the full story.
Tim, meanwhile, is learning that children are exhausting, Cass is an amazing babysitter (as is Damian, but Damian if fickle and Tim has to pretend like he doesn't know when Damian is there), and hasn't had any time, at all, to go out and do heroing stuff.
He has so much fucking empathy for Anita, right now.
He's been so involved with the triplets that he's missed key events like; Bruce coming back from the timestream, Kon and Bart coming back to life, Ra's declaring Tim his One True Heir officially, and a throuple of mad scientist super villains dropping onto the scene and making a stir.
Or; Danny, Dani, and Dan got caught by the GIW, forced into their cores, and then stolen by a league of assassins, of all things. So naturally they put a rush on getting out of their cores, because, see, assassins, but they came out way before they had enough ecto to form their actual ages. They came out as babies. Babies that were promptly treated as treasures by some creepy cult assassin man. Babies that were stolen by that assassin man's...rival? Detective? They weren't sure. But they were taken by him. And now they're being raised in a very ecto-rich city, just waiting for the day they have enough ecto to go back to their normal age. Meanwhile, Jack, Vlad, and Maddie Fenton are some of the scariest supervillains the Justice League has ever faced, and no one knows why they keep targeting US government facilities. Bart, Kon, and Cassie are lowkey convinced that Tim is dead. Constantine has a new assistant who forced herself into the position, and Jasmine Fenton is deadset on learning everything he knows to find her siblings. Booster Gold has run into two new time police, but he has no idea which future they work for; a goth teenager and a techy nerdy teenagers that wear clock amulets and keep disappearing into green portals.
This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what
if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.
An eight year old Bruce Wayne summons Danny (who is 14 at the time, mind you) in the Wayne family manors attic.
Danny: please don't be a cultist please don't be a cultist please don't be a-
Danny:
Danny: That's a child. Why is there a child?
Bruce who honestly didn't expect his great great great great nth grandparents weird ass spellbook bullshit to work: [squinting at Danny in scrutiny] I thought the King of the Dead would be…taller.
Danny: Oh great and now I'm being insulted by a six year old. It's like Young Blood all over again, just more posh. And alive.
Freshly adopted Jason, who is so used to taking care of his mother that the first morning in the manor, he wakes up in early hours to cook for Bruce, too.
Logically speaking, he understands that Bruce doesn't need it — he is a healthy adult, and they have Alfred — but it is six in the morning, and his mind is foggy, so he just follows his instincts. Maybe he does not even realise that mom is not here, after all.
Alfred finds him in the weakly dimmed kitchen when he finishes his walk around the Manor before starting with his chores. He is amused at first, stopping quietly behind the child. He is doing great (that's a surprise since Dick intentionally just stirred more trouble), and Alfred can't help but smile a little.
'Good morning, master Jason. If you are hungry, you should wake me up the next time. I promise to take care of you.'
Jason blinks owlishly, still awfully sleepy. His eyes are barely opened, his hands working on the automat.
'Breakfast,' he mumbles, frowning a little. 'For mom- I mean, for dad.'
Alfred's smile falters. His original impression shifts in a late realisation.
Oh.
'Master Jason, you shouldn't really-'
'Finished,' he yawns, putting a one — just one, nothing for himself at all — plate in front of Alfred.
It is a very simple dish, scrambled eggs with some black paper and toasted bread — but not even made in a toaster, just on the pan; this kid probably doesn't know how to use toasters. It smells nice, Alfred compliments mentally.
'Can you-' He yawns. 'Pass to-'
And then little Jason falls asleep helplessly, falling right in Alfred's arms. He catches him, of course. This boy weighs nothing at all.
'Hey, Al,' Bruce sticks his head in the kitchen, no less sleepy. 'What is going on?'
Alfred explains to Bruce what happened, and he is no less distraught. He helps him to put Jason in the bed and eats all the breakfast he prepared, with a mixture of delight and despair.
And when Jason wakes up, embarrassed by the faint memories of the early morning, Alfred puts a big plate in front of him, filled with so much food that his big blue eyes light up instantly.
'Bon appetite, master Jason,' he smiles. 'Your cooking had passed my personal standards for a cook. You are a good soldier.'
Jason giggles, his mouth already stuffed with bacon.
'That I am.'
And that he always will be.
Everybody know the scene in The Dark Knight where some idiot dresses like Batman and Bruce gets real pissed at him. Well it goes a little something like this:
Copycat Batman: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Batman: I’m not wearing hockey pads.
Alternatively:
Copycat Nightwing: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Nightwing: CAN YOU DO THIS? *insane quadruple flip off the roof with his middle finger out.*
Obviously not Red Hood: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Red Hood: I died.
Copycat Red Hood, mumbling: well obviously not.
Red Hood, cocking his gun: Wanna change that?
Copycat Red Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Red Robin: Spandex isn’t usually something I wear on the regular. And that latex cowl isn’t doing you any favours either. While we’re at it- [proceeds to roast the shit out of the copycat until they’re begging him to stop. He doesn’t.]
Copycat Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Robin, unsheathing his Katana: Run.
Copycat Robin: What?
Robin: If you care for your life you will know to flee. I will not give you another warning.
just looked over to find my cat had somehow crawled into the sleeve of my jacket ???? fucking wheezing. the baleful worm