Hilariously Funny That They Let The Guy Known For Wandering Off Without Warning To Look At Birds Was

Tim Drake is Argentinian. He’s white so everyone thinks he’s American (+ that white ass name) but one day Jason starts cursing in Spanish and he responds even more violently with that perfect accent.

Janet was born and raised in Buenos Aires and met Jack in Misiones. They hit it off and got married years later. They moved to Gotham and got a son. Young Timothy Jackson Drake. Janet’s family made fun of her for ages for naming her son something so gringo, but they love him nonetheless.

WAIT WHAT IF ALFRED WAS A SOLDIER IN THE WAR FOR THE MALVINAS ???? Timothy learns about this and the rest of the family doesn’t understand why Tim moved from loving Alfred with all his being to side eyeing him the little times they cross paths or simply avoid him.

Tim meets Santiago Vargas “El gaucho” (Argentinian Batman!!! ITS CANON) in a mission with other Batman and quickly leaves Bruce and becomes el gaucho’s Sidekick for the rest of the mission

OMG THE NAME COULD BE “Tero” EL GAUCHO Y EL TERO

Damian would feel so betrayed

Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!

Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!

Bruce: what is this about?

Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.

Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?

Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.

Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?

Bruce: …

Damian: father?

Bruce:… how much?

Damian: FATHER?!?

Bruce: name your price!

Damian: NO!

Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.

Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?

Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.

Jason: What?

Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.

Jason: What the fuck.

Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?

Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.

Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.

Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.

Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.

Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.

Jason, turns another page.

If the Marvel and DC universes came together, who would be friends with who and what would it be like?

Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark would have the most complicated dynamic. Iron Man and Batman have a longstanding frenemy-like feud over who’s the better tech hero, but the public lowkey ships the billionaires. In reality it’s more like Bruce bringing his kids and a plate of Alfred’s deviled eggs to the Stark family’s Sunday brunches and they complain about “kids these days” over mimosas. Pepper and Selina laugh at the men in their lives while Alfred and Rhodey just give each other knowing looks

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When Bruce met Bernard, he was skeptical. He respects Tim's choice of partner don't get him wrong, but something about the boy triggers his paranoia.

Bernard is on his way to getting a dual PhD in physics and biology. (Rouge gallery are mostly doctorates)

He spouts conspiracies with passion. (Some were close to the truth and contain details that a normal civilian shouldn't know)

When discussing said theories he has this manic look in his eyes. (also this child is an ex-member of a pain cult)

It didn't help that one day when Bernard was visiting Tim is the manor the boy casually said "You know Gotham's cave system are so interesting. They span across the city and from my research, bats tend to migrate here, especially in the area around Wayne Manor." (Bernard was working on a conspiracy about how Batman is actually an alien pretending to be vampire by mimicking bats and failing.)

Later that night, Bruce has Bernard's profile under the 'potential rogue list' Right next to Tim's name.

Okay. New thought. Hear me out.

Jason with motorcycle.

Jason, motorcycle AND 'white girl' music.

A little like this:

Goon 1: Hurry up guys! We don' want boss waitn' to long!

Goon 5: Uh.. hey lads? What's that music? I ain't never hear California gurls playin' down h're.

Goon 1: ...

The sound of a motorcycles engine becomes louder, as well as the very noticable and very known lyrics of California gurls as well as a distinct voice singing it.

Goon 2: SHIT SHIT DUCK DOWN

All of the goon scramble to duck down and hide.

Goon 5: What? What is it? The goon whispers

As the sound becomes louder and louder, the engine of the motorcycle pauses for a while but soon continues on. The goons all let out a heavy breath, that was a close one.

Goon 6: Oh thank the Lord. I thought he found us for a second..

Jason standing like right behind them whispers into one of the goons ears: California girls-

And that's why if you hear California gurls playing in Gotham, you should run because it's the Red hood.

Now. You must be wondering, if Jason is with the goons.. where is the motorcycle? Well let's just say Tim had a fun time scaring the shit out of people.

Kon... run

Gotta say I love me some timkon

STOPPPP I SAID OUT LOUD 'I can't go back to therapy cause what if they fix me and i lose my swag' AND FROM ACROSS THE PARK RED HOOD POINTED AT ME AND SAID "HE GETS IT"

why is this my life now 😭😭

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

Okay but like, several of my OCs would legit be concerned that they just broke an old man, more then a few would try to be Good Boys and help him up because 'he may be a bit of an asshole but I have Manners damnit'

Do you think it's like a rite of passage for every new generation of xmen to momentarily feel like it's kind of fucked up to be trying to kick the shit out of a senior citizen until magneto crumples someone into a cube like a trash compactor in front of them and they're just like Oh Ok