Okay, But, The GCPD And The Batfamily Having A Dysfunctional Working Relationship Would Be Hilarious.

Okay, but, the GCPD and the Batfamily having a dysfunctional working relationship would be hilarious. Like, the cops know they need the Bats to help keep Gotham’s streets clean, but man, they are fucking troublemakers.

Take Dick, for example. He’s already naturally at home in a police station, so he’ll regularly waltz into GCPD headquarters to give pointers on cases, act as a translator, and will occasionally bring donuts for the night officers. But he’s also been trying to get them to unionize since 2009 and will also unabashedly steal things from the evidence locker. (He always returns it, usually with the adjacent case completed, but it’s a lot of red tape and that’s very annoying.) He also fucks up the coffee machine every time he uses it.

As for Jason… On one hand he is excellent at tracking down perps that have escaped custody or gone to ground. It’s not uncommon for him to pull up with a van full of criminals on the wanted list, which is great… expect for the fact that Jason is also on the wanted list. So whenever he shows up the GCPD cops have to put in effort (minimal as it may be) to try and “capture” the Red Hood so that they don’t get audited by Homeland Security. So now like once a month they have to chase the Red Hood across Gotham proper, because he handed the Penguin into their custody or something, and they have to look good for their bosses—it’s a waste of resources and really fucking annoying, but, hey, they got the Penguin?

Surprisingly, Tim and Stephanie are the most frequent visitors of the GCPD—and they are also the most dreaded. Because Tim is a plucky little know-it-all, but also he can and will update their entire database in a single night and will, at random, solve a cold case they’ve been sitting on for 20 years. The problem is that he’s just fucking annoying about it, and every other week he’ll break into the vending machine to steal the energy drinks—that shit is impossible to get replaced. And Steph? She’ll talk the ears off the night shift and get everyone off task, because they’re busy gossiping about the accounting department in the Manor’s office and planning a prank war on the fire department.

You would think Cassandra would be everyone’s favorite because she’s quiet and much less destructive then her siblings, but you’d be wrong—Cassandra is an absolute menace and the night shift workers have spent years trying to prove it. She will sneak up behind people, leave random pebbles in people’s shoes, and will put googly eyes on anything she touches. The day shift thinks the night officers need to chill because, “isn’t she the chill one?” (No. No she is not. None of the Bats are chill.)

And then there’s Damian. As Robin, the closest he usually gets to the GCPD is through Batman, via his consultations with Commissioner Gordon. But on the rare occasions he’s permitted inside the GCPD, he is dotted on extensively by the officers. He’s deadly and abrasive but they love him. They give him candy and head pats and let him use the sketch-artist supplies to do drawings, which they religiously pin to the break room refrigerator. Damian will pretend to despise this despite the fact that he so clearly loves it.

Lastly, there’s Duke. As the only day shifter, he’s widely considered to be the most well adjusted and relatable Bat. Half a year into his tenure as Signal, he’s on a first name basis with half the GCPD, has his own locker and fridge space for his lunchbox, a coffee mug with his logo on it is kept in the break room, and he’s already been nominated for Employee of the Year despite the fact that he does not actually work for the GCPD. The night shift refuses to accept that he is real.

More Posts from Dragonboygobrrrrr and Others

dragonboygobrrrrr

1 month ago

When tf did THIS happen?

YOOOOO!!!! TERRIFICS!!! ZERO YEAR BATMAN!!! YEAR ONE BARRY!?!? BATMAN BEYOND!!!!! BOY THUNDER!?!? ZERO HOUR AQUAMAN!!! ABIN SUR!?!? “ WE ARE YESTERDAY” CANT COME SOONER

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dragonboygobrrrrr

5 months ago

Steph: omg guys, you won’t believe this. Someone in this room is related to an owl.

Dick: *sighs*

Dick: Well, I was hoping to tell you all under better circumstances.

Dick: But I guess there’s no sense in hiding the truth any longer. Stephanie is right, someone here is related to an Owl, and it’s me. My great grandfather, William Cobb, operated as a Talon within the Court of Owls.

Everyone gasps and begins talking over each other, demanding more information from Dick about this reveal.

Steph: you... you were supposed to ask “who”

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dragonboygobrrrrr

5 months ago

Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

written by Brian Buccallato art by Werther Dell’Edera, Jorge Fornes, & Scott Hepburn

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dragonboygobrrrrr

5 months ago

Honestly this lines up with how my associates describe their interactions with Dren. They always talk about how he insists they are his assistants yet he makes them do all the work and doesn't help. I could tell you a few of the highlights of situations they may or may not have intentionally left him in. My favorite story was by far the bottle.

Chancellor,

Following up on my last ask, what do you think of Narsis Dren. Like I mentioned, every single one of my associates who has encountered him despises him. And from what I have heard his ego is bigger then Mannimarco's and possibly rivals that of Molag Bal (Also disregard any reports you have been getting of a Khajiit with glowing eyes, the less you ask about that particular matter the better)

I had, in fact, met Narsis Dren.

"I am an explorer of incomparable renown, the greatest delver into the most dangerous ruins of the past that had ever been!" he said.

Which was all nice, but that particular Ayleid ruin was on a private property of the Tharn estate and has for centuries served as our wine cellar with some extra security measures.

We didn't talk much that time, he gave me such a headache that I ventured into the "foreboding den of promising riches" myself, and when I emerged later with some liquid will to bother with nitwits, he was gone.

I ran into him years later in Reaper's March while I was gathering more information about Knhunzar'ri. He insisted that I could be his "assistant" while he searched the archive for... I don't know what exactly, and honestly I didn't care. The last I saw him, he was trying to get the Pendant of Lunar Flight off while he was hovering under the ceiling. I noticed only because he stopped getting under my feet for three minutes.

Tags

the elder scrolls narsis dren

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dragonboygobrrrrr

3 months ago

Soundwave. Overworked. Underpaid. Underappreciated.

”Soundwave put a gag on that one” “Soundwave read that guy’s mind” “Soundwa—“ I KNOW they drive him crazy the way he’s the only competent one, wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the high guard often goes to him for most problems (esp when they’re like “I TOLD you it wasn’t tight enough” or “that just means he believes himself” y’all omg then don’t tell him to do stuff if you’re just gonna say he did it wrong 😭)

And so this is how Soundwave copes with the stress

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dragonboygobrrrrr

4 months ago

Hiccup is such a dramatic person like hey DAD remember how you said I need to kill like a singular dragon to be cool well what if I killed the biggest fuck off mountain sized dragon and ended a three hundred year war that will stop about 76% of your current problems AND get permenant life insurance in the form of an extremely angry night fury. What if huh??? What if?????

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dragonboygobrrrrr

4 months ago

The People Wanted More Youtube Worldbuilding ^^

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

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dragonboygobrrrrr

5 months ago

I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

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dragonboygobrrrrr

4 months ago

Damian, bursting into the living room, tears streaming down his face and rage in his eyes: TODD YOU UTTER BASTARD!

Jason, looking up from his book, confusion from being yelled at shifting to unbridled glee: whoa there brat, what did I do?

Damian, screaming wordlessly as he throws a pillow at Jason: WHY! WHY DID NAGISA HAVE TO DIE! WHY DID YOU SAY I MUST WATCH SUCH...SUCH HORRID THINGS!

Dick, rushing in as he heard yelling: Dami? Jay? What happened? Who died?

Jason, cackling and fallingnoff his chair: Oh my god...oh sweet baby Jesus...

Damian, running to Dick and clinging onto him: Todd told me to watch a show called Clannad...He is evil and must be exterminated.

Dick, hugging Damian back out of instinct but blinks confused: Wait...that old anime from like...07? Wait no...oh Dami...Jason why?

Jason, picking himself up from the floor: The brat spoiled One Piece for me, he deserved it.

Damian, muffled as he had his face squished into Dicks side: ALL I SAID WAS THAT ACE DIED HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE DEAD!