Love This Idea

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tim: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad…

This scene makes me crack up so hard. Did either of them help when Jason got to work doing this? Did Gordon look over at Cass (who seems to have entered some depressive meditative funk) and wonder if this was normal for them based on her total lack of reaction?

Did Jason ask one of them if Joker's dangling corpse was centred right while he attached him?

Tim ‘the-world’s-greatest-detective’ Drake, 30 seconds after arriving on scene:

“The murder weapon was a golf club, the victim’s brother did it, and it has no connections to any of the Gotham rogues. Anyone have a pen?”

Tim ‘hasn’t-slept-in-80-hours’ Drake, trying to figure out why his frog shaped coffee mug Looks Like A Frog:

“what the ffukc are you” *blinks one eye at a time*

Even Amazons adore Robin

Wonder Woman rushed into the Amazon kingdom holding a precious little boy in a red and yellow costume. She placed him on the floor and he looked around amazed at the golden kingdom.

Hippolyta (crossing her arms): Diana, why is there a man in my kingdom?

Robin!Dick (9): You said your name was Wonder Woman.

Diana: Thanks mother, he knows my name! He's not a man, he's a precious little boy and hero.

Diana picked up Robin and hugged him tightly making him smile.

Diana: I'm not babying you am I?

Robin!Dick: I'm not complaining, my mom died so this is nice. Can I introduce myself?

Diana (placing Robin on the ground): Oh, yes go ahead. Mother, Amazon sisters you'll love this.

Robin walked up to the tall muscular Amazon queen, he waved then saluted.

Robin!Dick: Hi, I'm Robin! I can do flips and tricks.

One of the Amazon warrior covered her mouth, hiding her smile.

Hippolyta (sighing while closing her eyes): Zeus damn it, he's adorable.

Diana (simpering): See! Mother, he's innocent. His... Batman has gone mad. I have to snap him out of it, but he is out for blood and I will not let him hurt this child. He'll being staying here.

Hippolyta: He will not-

Diana: Fantastic you agree. I shall return in a few hours. Stay safe young warrior and mother feed them!

With that, Diana raced out of the throne room to retrieve her new lasso of truth and some other weapons. Hippolyta raised her arms confused at what just happened.

Hippolyta: I'm babysitting a human child and it's not even my grand baby.

Robin!Dick: Ma'am, I'm hungry, you got any chef boyarde? Or crayons? I can eat crayons.

Amazon warrior: Is this what they're like before turning into Zeus?

Hippolyta (tapping the top of her forehead): I have no idea anymore. There's some leftovers from a banquet last night, you can eat that.

Robin nodded with a smile and followed the queen to the kitchen.

Hippolyta: Crayons, I'm not sure what that is but doesn't seem safe to consume.

Imagine for me please Gothamites mocking Batman because sure he’s their ‘savior’ and all, but he’s also one of them and it’s been a few years since he’s become Batman so he’s well known and just- Batman: *growling* go home! Teenager:… gO hOmE~ like what are you? My dad? Batman:… Teenager:… I’m kidding please don’t adopt me - Batman: I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman.  Gothamite: ~I aM vEngeAnCE~ like do you practice that in the mirror? Batman:…  - Batman: don’t sell drugs to students Drug dealer: doN’T sElL dRuGs tO stUdeNtS- please as if you didn’t need drugs to live in college  Batman:… Batman:… just… not too much Drug dealer: *scoffs* of course not dude I don’t want them overdosing we need more smart people who don’t want to kill everyone- plus if they die I lose a customer Batman:… good to know

Teenager: *walking home from school, drops books* Batman: *watching from a nearby roof* damn that sucks Teenager:... Batman: Teenager: *grumbles as they bend down to grab stuff* Batman: stay in school! Teenager: *flips him off* ~ Visitor from Metropolis: ugh omggg this city is soooo grosss! its because none of you have superman! all you have is that wannabe furry Batman! Gothamite:... *looks up and spots Batman* yeah you right Batman: fuck you! Gothamite: *grins and flips him off* Batman: *leaves* Gothamite: *beats the shit out of the Metropolian for saying something as blasphemous as that* ~ Gotham citizen: ugh i got my hair all done and no one notice- Batman: *from above* ohhh emmm GGGGG that sucksssss Citizen:.... Batman: :) Gothamite:.. no one asked you you furry black hotpocket Batman: :( ~

Students Cards part1

You can join the Au with your Oc as Student! We have a Discord, dm if interested :]

Gotham based goons definitely blame all their mishaps on the Bats.

Lost a shipment? "Yeah boss, Red Robin came outta nowhere, confiscated all of it."

Someone's cigarette caused a warehouse fire? "Batgirl dropped by and torched the joint."

Fell asleep while on guard duty? "Batman punched the daylights out of me."

Accidentally went to the wrong location and the buyer got arrested? "Bats were chasing the car boss, I figured I'd prioritize the product."

Killed a partner in crime? "Red Hood got him, sorry."

Look, normally I wouldn't dare touch smth other then Greatsword, but Anjanath has no right being such a bastard or having that kinda attitude for being an Act 1 monster so I'll make an exception

Freshly adopted Jason, who is so used to taking care of his mother that the first morning in the manor, he wakes up in early hours to cook for Bruce, too.

Logically speaking, he understands that Bruce doesn't need it — he is a healthy adult, and they have Alfred — but it is six in the morning, and his mind is foggy, so he just follows his instincts. Maybe he does not even realise that mom is not here, after all.

Alfred finds him in the weakly dimmed kitchen when he finishes his walk around the Manor before starting with his chores. He is amused at first, stopping quietly behind the child. He is doing great (that's a surprise since Dick intentionally just stirred more trouble), and Alfred can't help but smile a little.

'Good morning, master Jason. If you are hungry, you should wake me up the next time. I promise to take care of you.'

Jason blinks owlishly, still awfully sleepy. His eyes are barely opened, his hands working on the automat.

'Breakfast,' he mumbles, frowning a little. 'For mom- I mean, for dad.'

Alfred's smile falters. His original impression shifts in a late realisation.

Oh.

'Master Jason, you shouldn't really-'

'Finished,' he yawns, putting a one — just one, nothing for himself at all — plate in front of Alfred.

It is a very simple dish, scrambled eggs with some black paper and toasted bread — but not even made in a toaster, just on the pan; this kid probably doesn't know how to use toasters. It smells nice, Alfred compliments mentally.

'Can you-' He yawns. 'Pass to-'

And then little Jason falls asleep helplessly, falling right in Alfred's arms. He catches him, of course. This boy weighs nothing at all.

'Hey, Al,' Bruce sticks his head in the kitchen, no less sleepy. 'What is going on?'

Alfred explains to Bruce what happened, and he is no less distraught. He helps him to put Jason in the bed and eats all the breakfast he prepared, with a mixture of delight and despair.

And when Jason wakes up, embarrassed by the faint memories of the early morning, Alfred puts a big plate in front of him, filled with so much food that his big blue eyes light up instantly.

'Bon appetite, master Jason,' he smiles. 'Your cooking had passed my personal standards for a cook. You are a good soldier.'

Jason giggles, his mouth already stuffed with bacon.

'That I am.'

And that he always will be.

Part 1 of me and @chachalove160 crossover Au: Move Hero High School Au

(Yes it’s basically J&D R&C and SlyCooper in high school lol)