[Dick’s Teen Titans Era]

Jason: "Dick, there you are, I--"

Dick, holding up his finger to his lip: "Shh."

Jason, raising a brow: "What's going on?" Dick, gesturing into the living room from the doorway: "I gave Dami some of my old toys a few days ago, and look, he's playing with them." Jason, holding back laughter at the sight of Damian moving a stuffed elephant and toy soldiers around the floor: "I didn't know he had it in him." Dick, whirling on Jason, his anger palpable: "No. Don't you dare. This is the first time I've seen him doing anything remotely close to what he should be doing at his age so don't you dare make fun of him for it." Jason, holding his hands up: "Jesus. I wasn't gonna... Okay, maybe I was, but whatever, I got it, no teasing baby bat for playing with toys."

Dick, nodding: "Good. Now come on, we should leave before he notices us and stops."

Jason: "You got it Dickie bird."

Superman is asked in an interview if he walks around without his costume in the streets, he says yes, that he has perfected the way to disguise has a regular human, they ask for an example of one of his costumes so he grabs a black jacket and puts it on before slouching, warping himself in his cape and using his fingers to make little ears*

Superman (in grave voice): "I'm the night. *stretching the i* people think I live in the shadows, but I'M the shadows. I'm Batman *this continues for a couple of minutes, after that, the interview ends without problems*

...

Next morning all signs of Superman in Metropolis have been vandalized, either by painting bats as moustaches or by painting Batman's suit and cowl over Clark's faces

Later, he realizes all his suits have been replaced with Bat-suits bought from a Halloween costume shop, the Planet's windows were covered with photos of Batman and his kids wearing the suits they stole (plus masks), the internet is full of Superman memes and there's a viral video of Batman seemingly flying like Superman, in Superman's suit, while still wearing the Bat-cowl, only for the image to pull back and show Batman strapped to the Bat-mobile's roof, that's being driven by Spoiler, who is cackling like an Arkham inmate.

When the paper needs a break

So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward

what the fuck

Some more baby Bruce role swap au click here for the full au guide

Normally I would say Batman cuz the minute he figures out someone's weakness and comes up with a counter it's over, but I don't think Carol HAS a weakness and she's also a living nuclear bomb soooo

Batman VS Everyone

If Batman gets prep time, so does everyone else

Damian no

Jason: my traumas, my jokes

Red Hood: Kill the joker!

Batman: I can't kill the joker

Jim Gordon:(who only heard Batman say kill the joker) *busting in* NO! WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. Batman doesn't kill, I fired bullets at you last time to get you to stop. You did this for me Im doing this for you! Back away from the clown and-

Red Hood: ???

Batman: it's not for lack of trying

Red Hood:...

wave with his critters

Jim Gordon meets ... Batman and Robin. The Dynamic Duo. The Best of the Best.

Batman & Robin: Year One (2024) #1 by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee

Bruce Wayne Adoption Scale

Danger Level 1: Do I need to call Talia/Is it a clone? Danger Level 2: Imminent Adoption/Alfred, call the guy! Danger Level 3: Gentle Assimilation/It’s not an abduction, I promise! Danger Level 4: MINE!! Danger Level 5: If anything happened to [insert adoptee name here], I would kill everyone in this room and then myself