So, It's Been Some Time Since I Read That Justice League Arc That Has The Batman Who Laughs. Can Anyone

Okay, okay, okay. More Bat-family brainrot to throw out into the void.

It's generally accepted that none of the Bats really enjoy going to galas or schmoozing with the upper class Gothamites. It's a fun enough joke or point of resentment or a good way to excuse the absence of other characters.

But consider the parties from a new angle: Galas are how the Bats patrol the ultra-rich areas. (I mean, that's where Epstein recruited his victims, right? And rich kids don't get their drugs from street corners)

Gotham vigilantes spend weeks swinging around on the main island, fighting street crime, foiling plots, etc. Gala Night is when they get to go hunting for the big fish, ya get me? They are so eager to dive into a Gala and find the tea.

It's a tech-heavy production, I'd wager. If your phone is on, it's being cloned. So many listening devices and/or cameras slipped into decorations or are being worn by the Bats. They're everywhere, popping in on conversations, encouraging people to talk about themselves, disguised as servers, disguised as other guests.

Today's the anniversary.

Goodbye Jaybin, you were a goddamn delight.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

The Tobirama covered in seals isn't the only one to react to that voice. The youngest goes still and stares at gvMadara, eyes wide and unaccustomed to his body reacting to...it's just a voice. He's only talking, but for some reason, Tobirama wants to listen.

SugarTobi shivers and presses closer to the eldest, the hand around his waist moving into a lazy groping as he nuzzles the man's neck. He keeps his voice low, and his lips hidden as he murmurs, "Shit, yours does that too, huh? If you want to put on a show for them...I can do that, but you need to tell me now..." He glances up and is riveted at the sight of the elder SugarMadara slowly peeling his gloves off. He swallows thickly, eyes following the movements as best they can, "Because otherwise I'm going to take mine out of sight for a few hours..."

The youngest Madara might be looking from the responding Tobis to his oldest self and back with something like respect, "Ah...I see..."

SugarMadara smirks at the both of them and finishes casually pulling his leather gloves off.

"They all do respond so well to instruction, don't they? I have found that mine tends to enjoy a more hands-on approach to lessons..." His eyes catch his lover's gaze and holds it as he brings his naked hand teasingly to his mouth. SugarTobi might whimper into his alternate's shoulder.

"Bastard, he knows I like to suck on his fingers."

Hot new take, I love it.

This is going to influence Bernard's call sign somehow, I just know it! And it fits the theme of flying beings that inspire fear!

Bumblebee and Queen Bee are taken and we don't want H.I.V.E. to be accidentally spoken back into existence. Marvel has Yellowjacket and Wasp...

Be(e)hold, the Drone!

I think I've been reading Bernard's name with the wrong pronunciation for years. I didn't watch many shows and I haven't played the games so I haven't actually heard the canon pronunciation of Bernard and now I'm having a light existential crisis.

Because the second way is how it's pronounced in my region and the first way makes me think of Bianca from The Rescuers.

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With WFA sister-coding Steph and Cass, I started thinking about how to get some silver linings out of the decision. So, here are some potential plots or story elements that could be fun/saucy/interesting to play with.

1.) Steph comes out as asexual. Between having a baby and dating Tim, Steph realizes that she's been pursuing physical relationships because of social expectations. She's a spunky, outgoing blonde tough girl; people just assume. She just assumed.

This leads to so many jokes. So many.

"Yeah, Tim and I dated and we had a good time, but in the end I turned him off girls and he turned me off entirely"

"I flatlined briefly and it restored me to factory settings"

Idk Steph would have more quips. She'd have all the quips.

2) Cass is secretly the true Wayne Womanizer. She's not here for a long time, she's here for a good time, and as long as everyone understands that she will play the field. The only reason no one knows that she's debauched every willing heiress in Gotham is because she's too good to get caught and no one would believe it.

Cassandra Wayne is a Legend among closeted debutantes and socialites whose parents have "arrangements" made in regards to marriages. She's the muse of so much modern sapphic poetry, the kind that only hints at her identity. She is the favorite friend to every ambassador's interested daughter. Forget the headlines about Brucie Wayne spending the night with a Russian ballet troupe, Cass will tour with them and no one will even guess what's really going on.

Fandom treats her like a sexless child figure or defaults her to Steph's side. I say let her sneak into the manor at 3am with her shoes off, whispering about entering her slut era.

3) If Steph and Cass are not dating each other, they could each be dating a new or underused character and we could have another Bernard-style steal-your-ship. We might be on the cusp of discovering a really fun pairing or character!

4) Cass and Prudence Wood have an assassin-angsty hate-sex relationship. This one's just for me because it makes me giggle. People meme about Tim and Cass looking alike, Pru called Tim hot once, Pru is now a double??? Triple???? Quadruple??? Agent between Ra's and Tim.

There is just something cute about imagining terrifying quiet Cass stalking after the loudmouth Pru's British cussing. No killing! Because Cass is here to ruin your fun and watch you sleep!

POKEMON VIETNAMESE CRYSTAL

Don’t mind me, just sharing a thing of glory.

Fucking LOVING this energy, yes, thank you, this is a great take on a classic trope!

Jason would be so frustrated. He's kept his secret identity, but at what cost? I can only imagine the ribbing he'd get from his team once they find out, let alone the other Bats.

Now I'm thinking of the next inevitable invasion where all hands are on deck and half the League is wondering why Jason is still dressed as the Red Hood and the other half is wondering if the Bats don't know that that's Jason.

My favorite fic trope is the "JLA meets the batfam because they arrested Jason as he was undercover and now the family is coming to pick him up" one, but imagine. Jason gets arrested by the JLA while undercover, and is brought in for questioning, but before any of the batfam members even notice that he is gone, Green Arrow walks into the interrogation room.

"It's okay, Superman, you can let him go."

"Green Arrow, Red Hood is a wanted criminal on the JLA:s most wanted list-"

"What? No, no he isn't, that's just Jason."

Superman stares. Jason stares too.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, that's just Jason, my son-in-law. You can let him go."

"...your son-in-law is the Red Hood?"

"No? Jason's not the Red Hood, he is just dressed as the Red Hood. He's in a mercenary group with my son, he does that. It's pretty easy to dress up as someone who doesn't show their face for a job. Jason's no Red Hood, let me tell you that. Or I guess I don't have to tell you that, since you've already arrested him."

Jason's not really sure if he wants to murder Oliver or not.

Superman stares. Oliver raises a brow.

"So? Can I have him back, please, we have a family dinner today and we're already a bit late."

"...sure."

Jason gets let out. Oliver throws an arm around his shoulders as they walk towards the zeta tubes.

"I hate you, Queen."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

JLA does leave Jason alone after that, though, because every time they see him outside of Gotham, they just go "oh that's just Jason dressed up as the Red Hood again, move on" and Jason doesn't know if he should be annoyed or not. It does make his work easier, but at the same time, it somehow feels like an insult.

Can confirm, actual home video of me. Don't judge, I was a young thing back then.

Bet You Love Cat With a String. I’ll Raise That Bet With a Cougar with a String.

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]