This Would Be Tough To See, Because On One Hand, Yes, If Tim As A Familiar Presence Calms Damian From

I've given enough angst lately. Have something amusing:

Chef Bernard Dowd on Hell's Kitchen.

Imagine it, please. Imagine Tim gripping with bloody hands to the shreds of his self-control, trying not to physically attack Chef Gordan Ramsey for yelling at Bernard for fucking up the risotto.

Tim and Bernard would absolutely have a closet full of tailored superhero kink wear holy shit

Asfdhda Bernard has absolutely desecrated Tim while dressed as Spoiler, too.

I will SELL MY SPLEEN to the first person who draws Bernard wearing Zatanna's magician outfit (SPECIFICALLY the fishnets, yes) GO GO GO!!!

For the authors and the curious

LISTEN UP MOTHER FUCKERS

SEE THIS WEBSITE? 

ITS CALLED WOLFRAM ALPHA

THIS IS THE BEST GODDAMN WEBSITE FOR ACADEMIC SHIT. FUCK GOOGLE. 

THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL LET YOU SEARCH “HOSPITAL BEDS IN CHAD VS. IRAN” 

AND IT GIVES YOU A STRAIGHT GODDAMN ANSWER 

MAYBE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN DOCTORNESS OF THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES COOL SHIT 

HAVING TROUBLE WITH MATH?

HOLY SHIT

OR MAYBE YOU WANNA DICK AROUND

WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT

If you have written a Batman story that you think is actually legit, go ahead and submit that to DC. They are in the business of selling stories and they've made plenty of crazy little one-shots.

Look at Batman: Reign of Terror, where it's set in 18th century France. Robin is Bruce's little sister, Rochelle (the true title-holder of Most Ignored Robin by the Fandom). They're fighting Herve Deinte.

If that isn't the result of two special interests colliding with someone taking a chance to put it in production, then I didn't know what is.

I believe so many of you are capable of turning your fanfic dreams into legit comics. (Maybe not as blatant in certain cases, but there could be hints and casual asides, a post-it in the background, etc.)

I once wrote that Sugarverse!Madara wasn’t promiscuous and now I’m looking at all these fun and/or pervy au collabs I’m doing and it’s like.

Naw.

He’s still not a ho. 

He is confident about sex and likes to have it often when he’s got someone to have it with because his ego grows ever more powerful with every orgasm he gives his partner(s).

Put him with people that are pretty but he doesn’t know them well? He might flirt if one seems into him/situation calls for it but otherwise he’d be chill.

Madara might actually be in charge of Konoha’s lipstick missions. He could probably teach people how to use genjutsu as a seduction tool and never need to touch the target at all.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

"Yesss" SugarTobi moans the word quietly, nearly whimpering as the eldest Tobi's nails come into play, "I can take it...can take everything you give me, please..."

-

A hand grips his neck just enough to choke him at the same time his younger self scratches his nails over his ass and Madara freezes, body trembling as he climaxes. He can feel the other Madara swallowing around him and he pulls that hungry mouth closer, making sure the man gets his fill. "Oh fuck, yes, just like that...gods, you feel so good, so very good~ Just you wait, old man; you're going to fucking love me at any age..."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi really likes using his nails. Also likes feeling SugarTobi's scars from the inside of his mouth. Also the begging is nice.]

[gvMadara lols a bit. He doesn't love his alternates, he's just going to enjoy them. He doesn't completely like that his Tobi is enjoying the other Tobi so much. Pulls SugarMadara's hair and demands distraction when he sees his Tobi going deeper.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

SugarTobi is so, so still, keeping his mouth open and wanting, shivering with lust as his alternate traces over his scars. He wants to beg for more from this man, to plead for anything he is willing to give, but that would mean interrupting the way his mouth is being finger-fucked and there's no way he wants that to happen. He closes his eyes to better feel the sensation and to send out just a tendril of chakra. Wanting.

-

"I can work with that." He reaches up and grabs his alternate's wrist, using the pressure points to free himself. SugarMadara twists with surprising gracefulness considering that his legs are shaking and falls to his knees, pulling the man's clothes out of his way. "Get your hands in my hair and get ready for a fucking ride. Gods, look at you, so nice and heavy. You better make me choke on this monster-!"

He is abruptly cut off when his younger self grabs his head and unceremoniously pushes him all the way down. YoungestMadara leans his weight against the other man, staring into the Eldest Madara's eyes and looking slightly unhinged himself. "When people say I talk too much, I'm going to start listening to them. Give me that lube; this guy is prepped and I am going to get my dick in him one way or another."

The youngest straightens up and yanks back, pulling the choking Madara up by his hair, "That sound good to you?"

SugarMadara groans and spreads his legs. He had rather hoped this is what would be happening after his younger self had discovered that he had taken inspiration from his own Tobirama to welcome his lover back from his long-term mission. Hiding the fact that he was being fingered from his alternate older self had been beyond difficult, but he is very proud to see the surprised look on the man's face.

"Fuck yes, let's do this."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi is curious is SugarTobi can come from this alone and then he hears that and accidentally goes too deep when he looks over and demands that he be let in on that.]

[gvMadara freezes up. May be contemplating the murder of his alternates.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

It turns out SugarTobi can indeed come just from that, especially combined with the sound of the older Tobirama's appreciation for the Madaras' positions. He doesn't choke though, keeps himself breathing steadily in silent, open-mouthed obedience even as his eyes close in ecstasy.

-

"Holy fuck." The youngest one breathes the words like a prayer as he applies a layer of slick to his erection. SugarMadara looks over at the Tobis, moaning quietly as he sees his boy being so well-behaved. "Good gods, me, say yes!"

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes his man is close to murdering his alternates in a fit of jealousy. Uses his sexy commander voice to interrupt the killkillkill mantra. Takes the seals off his eyes so he is blind and cannot see the other Madaras.]

[gvMadara is going to not kill his younger alternates as long as they don't touch his Tobi. Also, he is already halfway prepped himself because nothing says "I missed you" better than anal(?)]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

The other two Madaras reign in their shock at seeing Tobi's seals vanish, though they are not...they had not realized that this Tobi had been blinded and had used his abilities to seal away the wounds. (They do not know that this is a different sort of seal than the ones on his body) SugarMadara in particular has to swallow back a snarl, wants to demand how his alternate dares to make blindness a condition to Tobirama getting something he wants.

"Fuck, you couldn't have him wear a blindfold, you need him to lose his sight?!"

He does not do well at holding back his anger, even in such a compromising conditions, even if he wants to stay silent and let desire win out over his protective nature.

-

There's a distressed murmur from the cuddling Tobis left to the side, their chakra senses picking up the disturbances. Neither of them are very capable of blocking out their senses, they won't be until they leave subspace.

Slade Wilson makes me want to write an au where his son, Grant, joins/is adopted by/marries into the Batfamily during his teen rebel phase.

His codename is Wrenegade.

Wouldn't that be some shit? All this lethal potential and he's using it to be a martyr vigilante in the hellcity? Slade would have a coronary. Batman would be the most smug bitch. Grant would keep the orange-and-black just to flex on his shitty bio-dad.

He'd hang out with the Waynes and everyone "in the know" would know that Batman poached a kid from Deathstroke.

"Slade is a titans villain!" "Slade is a Batman villain!" Slade is his own fucking villain. Have you seen the bastard? He is the main component in wrecking his own life godbless.

Friendly reminder that in America many people on disability income lose that income if they get married or can't quality for it at all if they are married!

stop getting married between the ages of 18-25 like wtf are you thinking…?

You know what? I love this. I hope that the writers put that amount of thought into the show and the characters.

It also occurs to me quite suddenly that a future Batman writer is going to have Batwheels as their first introduction to the characters. That is going to be interesting...

Well, I didn't expect Batwheels to reveal that Penguin is apparently a singer. Or that he got music lessons as a kid and has this weird proclivity for liking music. But I guess it makes sense. It's a fun thing for the kids, but it also makes some sense for The Penguin. For one thing, music is sometimes seen as an upper class thing. Look at opera and everything. But also: a lot of Penguin's actors have been singers. Paul Williams had a whole career in that. Jess Harnell and Tom Kenny don't do music for a living, but they can sing if a show requires them to, Danny DeVito did a song for Disney's Hercules, etc. So it makes some small amount of sense, I suppose.

Sometimes I really love being an old fuck and remembering when Tim Drake was just a clever kid who was part of a loving middle class family living in a brownstone in Gotham City. The parents were gone often, but that's why he was in boarding schools. He only followed Batman around to take pictures when the guy was crashing out and Tim needed proof to bring to Dick.

The fanon zeitgeist has mushed him around a bit and now he's seen as an abused little stalker who lived alone in a mansion because his parents are so neglectful.

And you know what? You do you, boos. Your writing and art and everything mean something to you. You go ahead and use this little guy to work through whatever it is that you're struggling with in life. Make him hurt so the hugs feel better. Combine your special interests and make that au that only three people will understand.