Okay, Getting My Asexual-spectrum Batman Brainrot In Some Sort Of Order, Everything Is Subject To Being

There are lots of fics about Batman being a bat shifter or being magically turned into a bat. I think there should be more of them. And that they should feature more confused bats swimming in the wet air.

No notes, just joy

Thinking back to this panel, I think Tim has an opportunity to be the biggest little shit if truth serum gets involved.

Villain: With that truth serum flowing through Batman's little sidekick's veins, he will have no choice but to reveal the bat's deepest secrets.

Tim (as Robin): So whatever I say now will have to be accepted as the truth, no matter what?

Villain: Yes, because you have no other options.

Tim:

Tim: Batman called me dad once.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Not too much dialogue going on in the early stages. The gvTobi is distracted by _why_ shadow clone sex would be a thing. "What would the appeal be?" and Sugar!Tobi is trying to explain how "Y'know when they dispel and you get their memories? It feels pretty good. Besides, he's an exhibitionist and so...it can be fun to tease him. I think it might be an Uchiha thing, that they like to look."

Upon hearing this, gvTobi is curious whether the original would come after a clone dispels after orgasm. (Which sounds impractical)

SugarTobirama nods, "It does for me. I usually have a clone work if there isn't too much to deal with; I prefer to enjoy Madara personally." 

The younger makes a face. "Can you imagine if it dispelled when you were near an Inuzuka?" 

The older shrugs, nodding his agreement. That would be unbelievably embarrassing.

"I enjoy indulging Madara's fantasies every so often and clones are just another way to do that. Even if I didn't get anything out of the act itself, the look on his face..." He smiles just enough to look wicked. "What would be strange is using a clone henged into someone else..." 

He pauses and thinks the statement over before eying the seal-covered version of himself. He might be wondering if henging a clone into an alternate reality Tobirama would count as strange.

I had years of pre-Internet existence. I had a soul and sense of self by the time the first bulky box of a home computer was installed in my Dad's office so he could have very important access to very important medical journals that were now on these websites! He didn't need to order them special anymore!

It's just wild to sit back now and look at my tiny insignificant personal timeline and see how the same place that helped my father deduce drug interactions is all these years later helping me deduce that I'm a monster-fucker.

wyd in this situation

Bro, you are single-handedly going to return Rena to mainstream and I'm here to cheer you on.

I almost don't want to let the official DC writers get her though, what if they do something stupid with her character?

Worst part of being a DC fan is when you fixate on some niche ass character that even the writers forgot about

like, Thaddeus Thawne gtfo out of my head istg

Yoooo! Yes!

When Batman was a wee little character, just a concept still being fleshed out by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, Batman killed people.

Like, with guns, even.

One of the early comics has him straight up acknowledging that he's about to kill innocent madmen who were experimented on at Arkham and turned into monsters, but he had to stop them from killing other innocent people.

Early comics were wild and I am out here so excited to talk about history and the moral panic of the 50s and how legally you couldn't publish a comic that made a criminal sympathetic!

I've got. So many essays. About the Comics Code Authority and its effect on media and culture.

Me, skimming pages of Batman year one and two, with Jaybin: . . . The f#&% you mean Batman has killed before in self defense? •-•

WHAT!!!??? BATMAN HAS KILLED PEOPLE!?!?!? ._.

This... This messed with my character analysis so much.

WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN?!

"I'm glad they're dead!" Careful, Jason, the writers took that singular comment and haven't let it go since.

Also, just shout out to Jaybin for being all cute and >:/ and :D

If you're looking for stories about adults acting responsibly and with measured calm to world-ending events and who will somehow stop the children who want to fight crime... You should probably go write that book. There's definitely an audience for it.

The rest of us are here to read stories about child heroes facing seemingly insurmountable odds and winning, even if at great cost. We're here for the drama and the crash outs and the moments of peace and the friendships forged from circumstances that none of us will likely ever understand.

They're all stories. Each character is important and exists and it's the way they are so that the story gets told. Each character is moldable and can be changed completely depending on the storyteller, because the story is the important part.

Unpopular Opinion Time

I don’t ship Sirius Black with Remus Lupin and while I’ve read good fics with them as a couple it usually strikes me as a lazy pairing.

The basis of their relationship seems to be that hey were friends for years and they hugged after being reunited.

I actually got into a legit argument about this once and was accused of being a homophobe. Personally, I think that turning them into a couple based on this scant character development is perpetuating a culture of toxic masculinity. Two men showed love and relief and are now ‘super gay for each other omg otp’

I think Sirius Black is hetero pre-Azkaban and too mentally injured to call himself by any labels post-Azkaban. (He spent ten years having portions of his soul sucked out of him, it was going to take a lot more years than he was given after that to rediscover who he is, let alone have a sexual identity.)

Remus I can see as hetero or pan. He would likely focus on pursuing female companionship over male simply because he is already ‘different’ enough as a werewolf and would desire a sense of normalcy.

And even if they were both gay, that does not necessitate that they would automatically be attracted to one another. It’s a common theme found in a lot of amateur stories that the token gays must be paired with each other rather than seek a single life or date outside of the friend group.

Anyway, it’s 6:30 AM and that argument from my high school years is running around in my head, so here’s my belated rebuttal being tossed into the internet.

(Also I got a discord? https://discord.gg/qwPzVtr I still don’t know how to technology very well, but I’ll hopefully be more active over there. Tumblr’s editing system isn’t all that intuitive for me unfortunately.)

"win a MMORPG" is from when my brother was showing me the Sword Art Online Abridged series. Apparently, everyone is trapped in the video game until someone 'wins' and the crowd of players were like "??? My evil dude, do you even know what this game IS??? There is no winning."

I loved your tags, btw. And yes, I imagine Dick would make a point to check in with Tim about him and his friends, and maybe put out some feelers to the adults in the other kids' lives to check in.

I think Tim and Dick would both want to keep a familial relationship with each other and they'd both be the type to put in the effort. It wouldn't be the same relationship, but that's the thing! That's normal! Sibling relationships change as people grow up and no longer live so closely together. Like everything else in life, it takes work.

I wonder how much of the Young Justice run files would Dick have had access to at the time they were occurring? Does he know about Gun Batman, Santa's death, and that time Empress killed Jason Todd, or did Tim just file that paperwork and never bring it up? Maybe Young Justice in general is a sore point between Tim and Dick because it was YJ's inexperience that got Donna killed.

I fully believe in the Suicide Pact tho. If one of them can't be talked down, or brought back to sanity, or contained from becoming their worst nightmares, the other three will take them out and it will destroy them all to do it. "If your last act is for us to have your blood on our hands, then your hands will be just as bloody. We go together, bitches. Mutual assured destruction."

I don't remember whether canon revealed Tim's specific Hit List contingencies or not, I lost that comic book awhile ago.

So I'd like to make shit up and invite people to add to the list. I've said before that I like to imagine that Damian just found the Hit List file and saw himself and immediately went to Nightwing, and I think it'd be funny if the Hit List was actually either A) Tim's customized playlists for everyone or B) the stupidest plans that might work as a mockery of Batman's contingency list.

In this episode I want to focus on option B, what would be on the Stupid Plans List if someone goes evil.

Damian - erase his Cheese Viking saves. Tell him his sketches of Batman are technically furry art. Buy him Robux???

Dick - lead him to Gotham zoo, get him to the elephants. Strategically leave powdered sedatives on ground, hope he licks? Dress as Jaybin, talk him down as hallucination.

Jason - just cut my own throat this time fuck.

Bruce - call Clark. Call Diana.

Cass - aw shit here we go again

Steph - Join. As a treat.

Cassie, Kon, Bart - all else fails, Core Four Suicide Pact 👍

Ra's - tell him I'll be his heir if he wins an MMORPG of my choice. Maybe he'll forget to Lazarus bathe?

Hey, you know what would be absolutely tragic? What if Jason were alive because of traditional ghost story reasons - he cannot rest until he is avenged?

If Jason kills the Joker, or if anyone kills the Joker in Jason's honor, then Jason has to rest in peace whether he wants to or not. That's how the stories go, don't they? The spirit can move on once their Unfinished Business is Finished.

Would it be quick? Would he collapse immediately, like a puppet with his strings cut? Would he feel his heart leap in one last beat of vicious satisfaction?

Or would he feel the gentle embrace creeping up on him slowly, the way his limbs grow stiff and cold. Would he have time to stumble to his family, his team, a friend, a sibling, a lover, and feel the burning heat of a living person hold him as he stutters out confused goodbyes?

It's been so long since his last stay in the coffin, he's rebuilt an entire life. And he's losing it again. Because of the same bastard man.

Just a thought (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)