(Art Is By The Amazing @dahtwitchi. This Is A Freeform Collab With No Real Goal)

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There are lots of fics about Batman being a bat shifter or being magically turned into a bat. I think there should be more of them. And that they should feature more confused bats swimming in the wet air.

This is the chaos I'm here for damnit. I wanna eat this as a long form, slow burn, multi-chapter, identity porn fic because it'd be delicious.

I've had this idea rotating in my head for a while about a specific scenario in a universe where nobody is ever clued in on the fact that the bats are related. They just assume that Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and everybody else just coincidentally happens to be Gotham (+Bludhaven) based like Batman is.

Do me a favor and imagine the aftermath of some stage five hall hands on deck crisis where everyone and their team has to gather for debriefing and for medical care. Everybody shows up with their respective teams, Nightwing with his Titans, Red Robin with the old members of YJ, Red Hood with the Outlaws, Batman with the JL ect ect.

Everyone is super tired from the battle and none of them are even given a moment to breathe before Red Hood and Red Robin start beefing on sight. Before anybody can even think to intervene, Nightwing, Orphan, Spoiler, Robin, and Signal join in and they all just start bickering at one another.

Everybody thinks they're about to fight. Like seriously start hashing it out. Thing is, YJ are RR's ride or dies. If RR starts fighting Nightwing then the YJ are gonna fight Nightwing. And then the titans are gonna fight the YJ because those are Nightwing's ride or dies. Same goes for all the teams and their respective leaders.

Everyone looks across the room going, "Am I gonna have to fight you? Man, I don't wanna fight you." They could not wanna fight because of the prior battle, out of respect for their potential opponents, or because they know that opponent would whoop their ass. But they'll still do it because that's their leader.

Eventually all of them stop their bickering, suspending the room in tense silence, as they stare each other down. Everybody is bracing themselves for the first punch and the JL is preparing to break up the fight, but instead the silence is broken by all of the birds turning their heads in one direction and yelling, "Daaaaaaddd!"

The room is dead silent enough that everyone can hear Batman's exhausted sigh echo through the room before it's followed by, "You're all grounded."

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi will be taking that admission as permission and presses a kiss to the back of gvTobi's neck, "Let me help you out with that, hm? Help you take the edge off..." he begins stroking lazily, mouth hot against his elder's neck. "Mm, mine does that too, but...they always wear those gloves. They're sooo sensitive there...gods..."

The youngest of them watches with rapt attention and reaches out without really thinking to brush his fingers lightly over the seals on gvTobi's shoulder, asking almost shyly, "Can I help?"

SugarMadara raises an eyebrow at his shorter alternate, "Really, yours is so obstinate? Try giving mine a command..." He smirks again in his lover's direction, knowing the man can hear him, "He knows he will be well rewarded if he's good~ I'll call a halt if you get too outrageous."

The youngest Madara hums quietly and reaches out to take his older self's naked hand. "Perhaps they shouldn't be the only ones giving a show?" He kisses the palm, eyes challenging. The elder of the two chuckles.

"We do seem to be a little overdressed for this, don't we?"

This is extremely niche, but I love a fic that has social media aspects. (The Crime Alley Kid series, with the oc's addiction to Reddit comes to mind) I love the unique way that Twitter fics get to tell us a story in piecemeal stages, by conversation. I love the worlds where the Bats get to be tiktok cryptids, as a treat. I fucking adore when Jason comes back from the dead and updates his fanfics (raven_of_hydecastle has an amazing version of this).

It's a new form of storytelling and that's so rare. It's amazing and so cool and I love it.

Anyway, someone should consider writing one about Jason secretly writing OCxRed Hood mpreg fanfics and cheerfully getting into flame wars with people criticizing him for writing smut about real people.

Sure, it's weird. He doesn't care; he's got a kink and he's fulfilling it in a creative and healthy fashion. He might not even be embarrassed if anyone finds out. "You found my AO3 account, Oracle? And what were you doing at the Devil's Sacrament? So? What are you going to do about it? Tell anybody and the next story is going to be about you getting me pregnant; body hacking could be hot."

YES! But then also, we can make it angsty. Tim going into sub drop because everything was very very good and now suddenly; Jason's here and furiously making horrific accusations? And Bernard's bleeding-hurt-helphim-savehim-! And Tim is having to pull himself together and possibly convince Jason to untie him and not kill Bernard and have to explain that they were doing a scene and the humiliation of it is not the good kind?!

Send that boy into a spiral, we all know he's gonna internally monologue at the drop of a hat.

Red Hood has 100% heard Tim and Bernard being freaky and broken into their place thinking that an assault was in progress.

Shots were definitely fired.

I remember seeing a post a while ago which message was basically that you should force yourself to like female characters even when they're written to be mid or even just poorly because it's part of unlearning sexism or something, like you need to "learn to like them", and man, I really don't like this stance at all, because what it basically says is that you should lower your standards when it comes to female characters. But there are absolutely amazingly written female characters that you don't need to "force" yourself to like because you just do naturally, because they're just written right, and it doesn't require "work" and "convincing yourself to care" or anything like that. It is absolutely possible to write them, and I'm justified in wanting more of them instead of "forcing myself to like" poorly written characters whose authors couldn't even force themselves to care about them on the first place. It feels backwards to me that many people expect otherwise and call it misogyny when viewer isn't willing to do the writer's work in places where writer didn't do theirs. I do appreciate it and think it's really cool when people take poorly written characters and remake/expand on them within a narrative to be actually interesting and multidimensional, it is really cool that people do that, but also you can't expect that every person who interacts with original media will do the same kind of mental gymnastics and additional work and accuse them of terrible misogyny when they're interpreting the characters the way they were presented to them in original material as is.

Like a year ago I mentioned to @asknotbug that I was reading all the "Billy Batson gets adopted into the Bat-family" fics and THEY, THEY told me about the Danny Phantom adoption fics. I held out for like six months but guEsS WhAt I'm ReAdInG nOw?!

Worst of all is that so much of it is really good lmao

Danny Phantom is also super easy to consider as an allegory to being a closeted queer teen in a small Midwestern town. And sometimes it's just about a ghost boy.

Anyway, thanks again @asknotbug, I'm having a great time. May any curses against you fall upon your enemies.

Can confirm, actual home video of me. Don't judge, I was a young thing back then.

Bet You Love Cat With a String. I’ll Raise That Bet With a Cougar with a String.