(Art Is By The Amazing @dahtwitchi. This Is A Freeform Collab With No Real Goal)

So, when Jason was living his Red Hood life and stalking Tim to an intense degree, I want to imagine him running into a little problem. He finds something that Tim has been keeping secret from the other Bats.

Tim livestreams his W&W campaigns with his civilian friends.

It's mostly done for Ives when he's at the hospital; the steam is easier for his friend to watch and communicate his turns while he's sick. Tim plays both his and Ives' characters at once.

And the thing is...

Jason fucking loves a story.

And after so long watching the streams for stalking purposes, he's reluctantly invested in this one.

He'll definitely beat the shit out of the new Robin soon! It's part of his plan! He needs to prove he's better than this little twerp.

But first he needs to know how the romantic subplot between Tim's orc Artificer and that blond kid's half-elf Paladin is going to turn out.

This! Write what you want to read! We are beings of creation, indulge in the ability to create!

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Not too much dialogue going on in the early stages. The gvTobi is distracted by _why_ shadow clone sex would be a thing. "What would the appeal be?" and Sugar!Tobi is trying to explain how "Y'know when they dispel and you get their memories? It feels pretty good. Besides, he's an exhibitionist and so...it can be fun to tease him. I think it might be an Uchiha thing, that they like to look."

Upon hearing this, gvTobi is curious whether the original would come after a clone dispels after orgasm. (Which sounds impractical)

SugarTobirama nods, "It does for me. I usually have a clone work if there isn't too much to deal with; I prefer to enjoy Madara personally." 

The younger makes a face. "Can you imagine if it dispelled when you were near an Inuzuka?" 

The older shrugs, nodding his agreement. That would be unbelievably embarrassing.

"I enjoy indulging Madara's fantasies every so often and clones are just another way to do that. Even if I didn't get anything out of the act itself, the look on his face..." He smiles just enough to look wicked. "What would be strange is using a clone henged into someone else..." 

He pauses and thinks the statement over before eying the seal-covered version of himself. He might be wondering if henging a clone into an alternate reality Tobirama would count as strange.

Titan's Tower was really Jason's Cuteness Aggression acting up, send tweet

Such a good take, I love how Bernard can be used to address the standard difficulties of life. He's a complimentary character to Tim, who will look at all his hero shit and be like "but that's the real trauma", and Bernard will be like, "Babe, no. That is additional trauma. That is the Trauma à la mode."

Adding my headcanons:

Bernard is absolutely the type of conspiracy theorist who does psych profiles for funzies. He's worked on himself enough to know that Tim needs his own set of self-help books. He's going to be supportive as heck, but he's also not going to let himself become Tim's sole point of mental stability.

Basically, Bernard is pulling a Tim, on Tim, and Tim recognizes it, and is even more touched because he knows how much you gotta love someone to go that far.

Headcanon: TimBer Parents' Parallels

Tim: His parents loved him, but their actions (constantly leaving him alone) created emotional distance, making it sometimes feel as if they didn’t.

Bernard: His parents didn’t love him, but their actions (wanting him to come back home and pretend to be a family) made it seem like they did - until he learned to see right through them.

Tim: Learned to cope by being a "perfect, angelic son" so as not to let his parents worry about him. This allows them to go gallivanting without any guilt, while he learns to shove aside his trauma as if it means nothing.

Bernard: Learned to cope by NOT following his parents’ expectations of a perfect son. Instead, he became the sort of individual (his high school persona, bathroom jokes made loudly in a public place) who agitates them and forces them to acknowledge his presence, even if the attention is negative.

Where that leaves them both:

Tim: Struggles with the idea of "loving someone despite the distance." He sometimes falls into habits of loving someone to a choking degree (stalking them, trying to remove them from the vigilant world, withholding information of his emotions/superhero identity to maintain a tenuous balance) or puts up more distance when he feels the relationship can’t be fixed (quitting his Robin career, pushing Stephanie away harshly, running away from Young Justice/Gotham).

Bernard: Doesn’t believe love is something you should just expect from someone else, because obligations of love (like in a family) just leave everyone hurt. Instead, he freely loves other people without caring if it's returned (he still wants a relationship with his parents despite their regret for his birth, admits to "Robin" his romantic feelings towards Tim without ANY assurance that he would be accepted). However, at the same time, he doesn’t do so blindly or without recognizing that sometimes you have to keep a distance for the sake of your own wellbeing (never contacted his parents during that year apart despite that it hurt him, refusing to move back home no matter how much he really wants to unless some changes are made).

I feel like these are the sort of issues that they can really only talk about to one another, common bad childhood/messy homelife scenarios that have nothing to do with vigilantes or supervillains. Just the dichotomy of bad parenting and how a child copes as best they can, even though it leaves a lot of deep scars.

At least, that’s my opinion on all this.

Sometimes I remember that Karl Kesel (creator of 90's Kon El) said that he thought Superboy would be bisexual because "...his sexual appetite would be quite large and far-ranging..."

And I'm like.

Bruh.

That's some stereotype right there, ayup. And yep, it fits his character to be a horny teen. But also. That's such a stereotype. And I'm glad you want him to be part of the lgbtqa+! It makes me feel like you genuinely didn't know what you said was a stereotype.

Oh, the nineties.

A little thing, a personal grievance, to throw into the void like a note in a bottle.

I know my family isn't perfect; no one's family is. I get that if I want a birthday party I have to arrange it myself. The thing is, I did arrange it, just a little one for family. I made the plans and set things up and... Well, I can't be mad that people came down with the flu. Sickness happens!

So we can postpone it. I'm used to that anyway - Mom and Dad are usually out of town on my birthday, or for several years my birthday was the same day or weekend of the Super Bowl. I'm used to skipping day-of celebrations. So I wait.

I try again some weeks later. Just a little thing for myself and my two siblings. I check in about availability, I let them know the day and time, they know the plan. I've got limited money and energy, but I'm spending it trying to get my family's attention on me like a true middle child.

The day comes, the time ticks by. My brother sends a text that he can't make it, he's burnt out from work. That's okay, that's fine. We'll do something together later! I check in with my sister, reminding her of the party. She says she's too busy today - she's cleaning her house.

I put everything away.

I drank alone for the first time in two years.

Martha and Jon Kent are trans t4t and that's why they knew how to get new documentation for a space toddler.

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

Wait, hold up.

We need to establish something first.

Are we talking Canadian Smarties or American Smarties?

I love stress-eating smarties I just go to town on those things I go through the whole bag I inhale it like munchable cocaine I eat it all until theyre gone and twitch on the floor like a dead rat