(Art Is By The Amazing @dahtwitchi. This Is A Freeform Collab With No Real Goal)

Prompt commission from anon on ko-fi:

“Totally love your idea of Tobi with a baby or toddler :) Could I request for a little comic strip of my favourite pair, MadaTobi with the toddler or baby? Maybe, Mada opinion of Tobi (he’s such a cold hearted bastard) changed when he sees Tobi interacting with a toddler?”

So here we are, Madara a month in coming by the Senju household to make sure the baby isn’t treated badly, or catch Tobirama out being actually bad enough to make a case the baby should be taken from him. That’s not what happens :D Who knew Senju Tobirama could smile, or be silly? Lovely prompt, thank you!

(Source)

This breaks the record of Strom Thurmond, segregationist asshole senator from South Carolina, who spoke for over 24 hours in a futile attempt to kill the 1957 Civil Rights Act.

Casual life update: My grandparents, lovely retired farm folk, in their 90s, very religious. They say the rosary every night and each day at breakfast they pray for one of their children in particular, and that child's children, and those children's children. They're bad with pronouns but they don't deadname me. They sponsor a college scholarship. In a town with no real grocery store and a dwindling population, they made sure people could come to them for fresh eggs and vegetables even when they couldn't pay cash.

They have recently stolen their neighbor's cat.

Bro, lovingly, there was a whole comic series about how Joker manipulated Jason's entire life and rebirth including Catherine's drug habit and him discovering Sheila and just, all of it.

It ended with some heavy implication that fans didn't like much.

It was top-tier Shakespearean-level drama and angst, it just also left Jason fans rabid with upset. There's also been a marked disinterest in stories that imply predetermination lately, in either "good" or "bad" sense, so it left even more people feeling sour.

. . . The Joker is the reason that Jason became Robin. This ain't a theory or anything, this is pure Batman 80's canon, my guys.

So, Joker shoots Dick, boom, no more Robin or whatever, but besides for that—

The museum heist that Ma Gunn was doing, the one that Jason dropped in on and Batman was there for blah blah blah I'm gonna assume you know what I'm talking about.

ANYWAYS That was a job Ma Gunn was hired to do by Joker's goons.

Joker is the reason that Jason became Robin.

. . . Anyways I figured this out while flipping through this thick ahh paperback I got of various Batman comics, and realized "Oh, damn, I got the comics where Bruce meets Jason!"

Score.

(Yes I buy things impulsively, sue me. Please don't, actually, I'm flat broke from buying Batman stuff...)

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi moans quietly, rolling his hips against gvTobi with a short gasp against his neck. "F-Fuck...Yeah, yes, he'd like...Not too deep, we haven't, ah, trained ourselves yet..." SugarTobi's other hand braces itself on the eldest Tobi's hip and squeezes appreciatively. "Yeah, let him suck...He learns so fast~"

The youngest is shaking, lips parted and breath hot on gvTobi's thumb. His hand slides down the other him's arm to loosely hold his wrist. He wants to move forward himself, curl his tongue around the digit and take it into his mouth, but...Fuck, he also wants the other version if himself to take charge and...and fuck his mouth with whatever he damn well pleases. ("Not too deep". How embarrassing. What, is he the only one here with a gag reflex?)

SugarTobi's eyes flicker up to find gvMadara's, dazed and already near to falling into subspace. "Right..." he returns his attention to the man in his arms. "Command me, then. Tell me what you want me to do to your lovely body..." Dizzily, he becomes certain that he has spent too much time around Madara to have picked up some of his favorite descriptors of Tobi's body.

He huffs a laugh against his elders shoulder as he changes hands and begins to massage the man's nipples. That's new, too. Neither Sugar personally care about those, so...it's interesting. Caressing the parts of this body that is so similar to his own that if he looks down he can almost pretend he is touching himself. "Of course...don't go far past the uvula. He likes when you pet his tongue and let him suck..." A full body shiver goes through the youngest and he whines needly. "The...The palatine tonsils should be the limit..."

SugarTobi watches, enraptured, as his younger self begins to drift into subspace from gvTobi's fingers and voice alone. "Fuck...he's falling already? Wow..." He lightly bites his elder's shoulder to make sure he's paying attention. He's a bit jealous of the youngest, but won't let himself fall until he is sure that gvTobi can handle both or either of them. "He's going to be...extremely suggestible like this. Obeying orders is going to leave him euphoric...could probably get him off with praise alone." Not that SugarTobi knows anything about that. Madara's voice telling him what a good boy his is has certainly never brought him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, no.

"It's....complete trust. If you get overwhelmed or don't want him...send him to my Madara; he will treat him well." He glances at the man he is speaking of and draws a short, stuttering breath at the intensity of the attention the Madaras are giving to them. The two Madaras in varied states of undress almost make him laugh and do fill him with a sense of accomplishment. Some of the most powerful ninja in the world are shucking their robes and running their hands over each other while hardly looking away from the trio of pretty lookalikes.

He meets the passionate gaze of the eldest Madara and presses his thumb down just a bit on the head of his alternate's dick on his next stroke. SugarTobi might shoot the man an arrogant smirk as he does.

The absolute BEST Harry Potter fanfic I have ever read in my LIFE is "Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce".

It has Chef Gordan Ramsey (Hufflepuff) coming to Hogwarts to be Potions Master in Harry's 6th year. It sounds like it should be a silly crack fic but I swear to you on my love of stories that this shit will have you hooked.

If you ever loved the Harry Potter series and felt betrayed by J. K. Rowling's words and actions, please read this fic. It reminded me so much of WHY I found such comfort in Harry Potter. It brought me back to staying up late on school nights and talking with my friends. It brought me back to being young and learning friendship lessons from fictional books. It brought back screaming in rage into a pillow, and tears at 2am, and the deep grief that comes from having loved a person, real or not, so much.

I revisit this fic about once a year. It's intense. It's wonderful. I just felt the need today to scream that adoration into the Tumblr void; maybe it can help somebody else.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

The two Madara with their original eyes might have briefly sharinganed that image. SugarTobi tries not to laugh at them too much. "Oh dear...did he really have such reservations? How quaint. How gentlemanly."

Older SugarMadara chuckles quietly, "Oh, I would...I did." and catches his lover's eyes. He smiles, enjoying the way the man blushes even after an entire year together. "Don't be so harsh, Big Brother; he really was quite an inexperienced young man back then. Very reserved and proper, even when he wanted to learn so very much~"

The youngest truly blushes at that and looks almost angry at the taunt. The older SugarTobirama hums quietly and looks at the eldest Madara with a mocking raised eyebrow, "Ah yes, and you are so very familiar with undefiled versions of us. Fifteen years his elder and yet I am sure you are tempted..." Privately, he wonders again about whether he has spent too much time around his lover, to pick up on this sort of talk. Still. It is quiet fun to watch the shortest, oldest Madara squawk at him.

YoungMadara smirks and crosses his arms, standing a little apart from his other selves, "Two years older than I am and all you've done is talk. Do you even know what to do with those pretty young men or do you still need Big Brother to hold your hand and tell you how your dick works?"

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarMadara groans as his younger self licks over the head of his cock, mouthing it and sucking gently. He buries a hand in the man's hair, but his other grabs a handful of the eldest's mane, yanking his head to the side.

The danger is fantastic. A hand on his neck countered by his teeth on the other's throat.

"Mutually assured destruction, then. We can all stay right here, no one touches unless they're approached."

-

SugarTobi turns his head to catch gvTobi's fingers in his mouth. There might have been a garbled murmur of "my turn" before he begins showing his own talents. YoungTobi joins in for a bit before returning to leaving lazy hickies on his older self's neck, grinding himself slowly against the man's legs.

SugarTobi barely has the presence of mind to fetch the small tube of lubricant he's made a habit of carrying with him (he and his Madara tend to have stupid amounts of grinding sex and after that one time, he's made sure to stay prepared). He passes it to the eldest, pulling off from his fingers just long enough to mutter distantly "I'm gonna...'m falling, too. Fuck, whatever you want, I want to do, too..."

Two things I think are important to acknowledge about children and young teen lit

1) What they do well in the sense of literature/craft (usually it’s pacing, hooks, interesting characters)

2) What areas are sacrificed to make them different from adult literature and consumable by children (usually it’s elaborate prose and certain complex topics or character traits)

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards