We Are Who We Are, Luca Guadagnino (2020)
this work maintains for every moment that fleetingness that only Guadagnino manages to convey with such complex simplicity. a story that is an epiphany, the slowness of a summer that passes away, slowly letting the first signs of an imminent change emerge. self-rediscovery, mourning, and again the peace of the quiet sky after the storm. the purgatory of an existence lived anywhere except in a place concrete enough to call it home. adolescent desire, contemplation of beauty. there is purity even in the eros, which never falls beyond the veil of vulgarity. in today's cinematographic culture where sexuality, the exaggerated complexity of man and the so-called beauty are mercifully flaunted, Guadagnino gives us everything and nothing. there is simplicity even in the complex world of those who are slowly starting to discover their identity. religion rediscovered after the untimely death of a friend, or perhaps something more. "I'm 19 years old and I'm a widow, crazy right?", there is innocence even in torment and in the guilt of death. loving in the immeasurable and unconditional way of adolescence is also healing oneself from sorrow, protecting oneself from those who are not able to understand us and carrying each other in our pockets. those who have died are not mourned and distance is treated with so little that one doubts the distance itself.
at the end of the show i let The Great Gig In The Sky play in my headphones. war ultimately leads to peace, to silence.
one of the most splendid cinematic pieces I have ever experienced.
Haley Lu Richardson as Casey in Columbus (2017) dir. Kogonada
guys we did it. we held on till may
tw: sh
everytime i’ve talked to someone and the doctors about my mental health they’ve just assumed im a teenage girl who’s going through it and like that it’s regular degular shit and there’s this underlying comment that ‘at least you’re not harming yourself’ WHEN I AM! like yes i am and the marks are visible and my mom literally mentioned how the scars couldn’t be scratches.. like i don’t know how them knowing would help but maybe acknowledging that im not lying when i say i dont want to live would be a start.
Chungking Express (1994) dir. Wong Kar-wai
pussy from a girl with a questionable online presence
To those who keep scrolling... this is not just another link ⚠️.
This is my room—crushed until its height became less than 30 cm💔 🧱.
This is my teddy bear and the cover of my bed—pulled from under the debris with my own hands🧸🥹.
We spent over a month clearing rubble just to build a tent beside the ruins ⛺.
But even the tent wasn’t allowed to stay... ❌
We were forced to leave—by an order from the occupation ⚠️🥹.
It feels like every trace of life is being taken from us, again and again 😔 .
I’ve shared. I’ve begged. I’ve screamed💔.
But the silence around me is louder than my pain🥹.
If you can’t donate, share 🤝.
Some of us are being buried alive—under the world’s silence🔥.
i want to do so much. i know i could be good at some stuff but i choose to sit on my bed with tears and my teddies under my head. i choose to fuck up my life i’m too young to be having an existential crisis
i know i’m too much like i want them all for myself like for them not to talk to ANYONE i feel so fucked up. but if what i’m saying is weird im just hoping they are forward with me cause i keep on telling them how i feel weird that im jealous and they’re ok with it???
i want to be friends with more dykes. i feel like every couple ive met in this city are sapphic, strawberry picking, mitski listening lesbians, and while i love they life theyve carved for themselves, that is just not me.
i want to be friends with dykes that are having disgustingly kinky sex with one another, dykes that always have their hands dirty, dykes that want to slam shots with me at 6pm on a thursday.
i want to be friends with zine making dykes, drag things, dykes that start fights with men creeping on their friends dykes that dance ontop of the bar and dykes that you can hear getting each other off while you wait in line for their bathroom stall.
i want to play pool and darts surrounded by dykes who have lives revolving around living in the moment, i want to be around dykes who have complex genders and dont care about the norms, i dont want to go to sapphic pottery night, i dont want to pick wildflowers, i want to get dirty and i want to be around people who get me.
ramblings of an 18 year old lesbian.she/they femme
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