Severus: I’m Gonna Need A Human Skull And I Can't Have You Ask Any Questions Why.

❤❤❤❤

Lucius, about a fight between Bellatrix and Severus: It scares me how many knives were involved.

Lily: There… weren’t any knives involved though?

Lucius: That’s what scares me.

*************************OR***********************

Narcissa, about a fight between Lily and Severus: It scares me how many knives were involved.

Regulus: There… weren’t any knives involved though?

Narcissa: That’s what scares me.

*LITTLE SNEAK PEAK OF UPCOMING CHAPTER*

Please note that there will most likely be changes, also I'd like you all to give me suggestions on things you'd like differently or ships or friends things like that even little things I'd like to know what I could or should change or incorporate I just want to make this story even better for you all, HAVE A GOOD MORNING/DAY/EVENING/NIGHT AND MAKE SURE TO DRINK SOME WATER EAT SOMETHING DOESN'T MATTER HOW LITTLE SO LONG AS YOU TRY TO EAT LOVE YOU ALL 💙💙💙💙

3rd person POV

"Mama psst psssst! Mama! " harry 'whispered', someone should really teach this kid how to whisper, to Severus Snape, Severus look'd down at Harry Potter a four year old boy who was situated on his lap "yes harry?" Severus quietly asked the boy "when are we going to make potions? I'm booored" harry whined, Remus watched with a smile "well today we are just taking notes and researching" Severus' answer caused Harry to huff and pout "here how about you draw something for us Harry" Remus say handing Harry a piece of parchment, harry gleefully takes the parchment and grabs Severus' quill from his inkpot

"Don't worry I'll take notes for you sev-uh Snape" Remus flashed him a smile, Severus decided not to tell Remus he already knows everything about this potion and just nodded his head before turning back to watch Harry, "*gasp* you can't see yet mama!" Harry tried hiding his drawing with his arms Severus huffed a laugh "alright I won't look" he said adverting his eyes to professor slughorn "piiinky prrooomise?" Harry squinted up at him "pinky promise" Severus glanced at harry and smiled lifting his pinky to harry, harry giggled and linked his pinky with Severus' before uncovering his drawing and continuing.

"Pinky promise?" Remus hums with a faint smile "..." Remus sighs as his smile fell 'him and his stupid sad kicked puppy eye's' severus thought "my mother and I did them when I was younger and then when I met Lilly she made me pinky promise her..." severus mumbles Remus smile wide "thank you" "hm? What for?" Severus tilts his head "for telling me" Remus answers "it was hardly important or anything" Severus says "still a pinky promise seems important to you and you seem happy harry does it so thank you for letting have this bit of information" Remus gives Severus soft eyes with a light smile, severus feel his cheeks start to heat up and quickly turns his back to slughorn and Remus returns to his note taking.

A few minutes later Harry declares he's done, Severus turns "am I allowed to see now?" He asks "hmmm" Harry pretends to think tapping his chin before giggling "I'm just kidding! Of course mama can look!" Harry lifts the parchment for Severus to see

More incorrect quotes

******************************

Severus: Start talking!

James: Well, I-

Severus: Shut up!

*****************************

James: This date is boring!

Severus: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store.

James: Then why did you invite me?

Severus: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you Severus I'll do whatever I want!

****************************

Severus: Bro-

James: No, no, hold up, rewind.

James: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

***************************

Sirius: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Severus: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

**************************

James: Can I ask a dumb question?

Severus: Better than anyone I know.

*************************

Remus: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Severus: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?

Remus:

Remus: I'll go make my bed-

************************

Severus: Remus, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?

Remus: Sirius, Severus wants you to get out of the house.

***********************

Remus, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Severus, not looking up from their book: Really? James, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

**********************

Sirius: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Severus: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

James: Fuck you.

*********************

Sirius: Severus, I am questioning your sanity...

James: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

********************

James: Remus, I’m afraid.

Remus: Just stay close to Severus.

James: That's why I’m afraid.

*******************

Remus: And now for a gay update with Severus and Sirius.

Sirius: Getting gayer.

Remus: Thank you, Sirius.

******************

Remus: H-how do you ask someone out?

Sirius: Well, first-

Severus: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Remus: ...And you said yes?

*****************

James: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Severus: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

James: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Remus: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

****************

Sirius: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Severus: Okay.

Sirius: And make out during the scary parts.

Severus: Th-

Severus: The scary parts.

Severus: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

***************

Severus: Look, last night was a mistake.

Sirius: A sexy mistake.

Severus: No, just a regular mistake.

**************

Severus, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..

Remus: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

*************

Remus: *angrily presses Severus against a wall* WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?!

Severus: ...

Severus: Are we about to kiss-

************

Severus: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Remus: Those are wanted posters!

***********

Severus: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

James: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Severus: ...

Severus: You mean ring bearER, right?

James: ...

Severus: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

**********

*James and Severus looking at a locked gate into a park*

James: Aw. :(

Severus: You know what they say.

James: Please don’t-

Severus: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

James: Fuck-

*********

Severus: Watcha doin?

James: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.

Severus: Scandalous.

Severus: Can I help?

********

James: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Severus: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

*******

Severus: What's gone wrong, James?

James: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

Severus: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

James: Well... There’s a crisis.

******

Severus: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

James: What?

Severus: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

*****

Sirius, dramatically: They called me a fool.

Severus, sick of Sirius's shit: They weren’t wrong.

****

Severus: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Sirius: This is a lie.

Sirius: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Sirius: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

***

Severus: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Sirius: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.

Severus: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

**

Sirius: We all have our demons.

Sirius, grabbing Severus: This one’s mine.

*

Sirius: What goes up but never comes down?

Severus: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

Narcissa: What did you two do?

Severus:

Regulus:

Narcissa: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Omg I just realized I based the story in the middle of 4th year and I just wrote a good chunk of chapter 4 with the marauders calling each their nicknames but it's fifth year they become animagi 😭 time to go back and change that 😔

Sirius: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Severus: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

If you've ever wondered why people in Hawai'i hate tourists, try to wrap your mind around the fact that there are CURRENTLY, RIGHT NOW, tourists sipping martinis and looking at fish within swimming range of the fresh corpses of local people who couldn't escape the overnight destruction of their entire town.

Try to comprehend that there are fully functional, high capacity boats passing through the waters in front of an area full of survivors who are stranded and in need of supplies, refusing to help. They are hosting snorkeling tours.

Really think about, try your best to actually picture over two thousand people unhoused and in need of shelter, with nothing but the clothes on their backs and nothing to return to. Understand that the island, stolen land, is littered with hotels full of air conditioned of rooms with beds and showers and toilets, each fully equipped to host hundreds of families for weeks, turning these people away because they're booked up with tourists who refuse to leave.

And understand that these tourists were offered free transport to return home or be hosted on other islands. Free. Courtesy of local tax dollars. 4,000 wealthy tourists were offered free flights shelter on Oahu and begged to leave the island, BEFORE the survivors were given shelter.

And enough still insisted on remaining and carrying out their vacations that people are left without shelter and resources while they enjoy "their stay in paradise".

[Edit]: This current situation, and this type of tourist behavior is horrifying beyond words. In other circumstances, the tourism situation is much more complicated, and I need to ask that people do not add on to this post unless they are local.

Reblog if you want your followers to ask you anything they're curious about.

Some bitch really said 'tHaT's LiKe SaYiNg YoU lIkE tEd BuNdY'-🤡🤡🤡 bro WTF

Y'all- this fucking toxicity 🤡✋

Hold up there's more