Lan Ghost #1: I Knnnew It. I KNEW It. That Lan Wangji Was A Trouble Maker From The Start!

Never will a day go by were I don't think it's incredibly hilarious that I struggled with writing long essays in highschool but I fr dropped a 4k word analysis on malleus Draconia twisted wonderland to my friend on some random day because I loved talked about malleus that much

Yo I think a about this post a lot

One of my favourite Untamed moments of NHS so far is the soft smile of "ah, home sweet home" while everybody else are clearly "is the Unclean Realm a supervillain lair?" So, a prompt: 5 times the Nie sect's perfectly ordinary sect things got everybody else freaked out, much to NHS' puzzlement.

1

Even Nie Huaisang would agree with the general consensus that he’s a useless good-for-nothing, which is why he doesn’t understand everyone’s expressions when he helped out in making dinner when they’re all night-hunting. Scorn he’d be used to, but everyone is just goggling as if he’d suddenly summoned lightning.

“Were you not planning on eating the boar or something?” he asked, looking around in confusion.

“You broke down the entire carcass into edible pieces in less than an incense stick’s worth of time,” Jiang Cheng said, voice a bit strangled. “Not just the meat pieces, but the offal, too.”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “My clan were originally butchers. It’d be weirder if I didn’t know how to do that.”

“Could you do it to a person?” Wei Wuxian asked, eyes alight with mischief.

Jiang Cheng smacked him.

2

During the preparations for the Phoenix Mountain hunt, Wei Wuxian gets a brilliant idea and starts writing furiously on pieces of paper in one of the Jin sect’s sitting room.

“Can someone get me some blood? Human, ideally, but pig will do,” he asked at one point, having already scabbed up all his fingers in making draft talismans, and when a bowl was put next to him, he doesn’t think too much about it, only happy that it didn’t seem to ever empty.

After a while, he looked up and noticed that Baxia was propped up on the table next to him, dripping blood into his bowl. Definitely human, too. There was no apparent source for it.

He stared for a while, then went to find Nie Mingjue.

“Did you just stab someone?” he demanded, and Nie Mingjue shook his head. “Then does your sword just regularly drip blood?”

Nie Mingjue shrugged. “I’ve stabbed a lot of people. Why wouldn’t it?”

3

“I don’t know what the problem is,” Nie Huaisang protested. “You wanted me to watch him, he was tired, he asked for a bedtime story!”

“You told him the story about people getting made into meat pies!” Jiang Cheng hollered, holding a wailing Jin Ling in his arms. “Right after he’d had meat pies at dinner!”

“It’s tradition to tell that story over meat pies. Don’t you remember the first time I told you that story? You and Wei Wuxian both turned green.”

Jiang Cheng glared at him and comforted Jin Ling to no avail.

Nie Huaisang tapped the child’s shoulder with his fan. “Stop crying. You know what happens to little boys that lose their temper.”

Jin Ling stopped crying at once, his face pale.

Jiang Cheng looked at him, then back at a smiling Nie Huaisang, then back again. “What did you tell him now?!”

4

“Today’s not a good day for a visit,” Nie Huaisang said apologetically. “We get ghosts today.”

“You’re a cultivation clan and you allow ghosts?” Jiang Cheng scoffed.

“They come here to be purified. Anyway, they’re really cute ghosts.”

“…what?”

“Mostly animals,” Nie Huaisang said. “Side effect of cultivation by butchering – at first it was mostly livestock, but after a while we started getting all sorts. Drowned kittens, run over puppies, that sort of thing.”

“…there are puppies?” Jiang Cheng said blankly. “Ghost puppies?”

“Mm, yes. Do you want to pet some of them before they go? They’re usually not powerful enough to take more than a very small amount of yang energy, and petting them makes the purification process easier.”

“Right. Show me the way.”

5

Nie Mingjue was unconscious, having put himself between his sworn brothers and their enemies as they tried desperately to escape the trap they’d been lured into; he’d been stabbed, cut or whipped a number of times before they finally managed to break their way into the cave and escape. Lan Xichen had put him on his back, while Jin Guangyao carried Baxia, his fingers dipping down to caress the blade every few minutes.

“As much as I appreciate dage’s sacrifice, he’s probably the only one who knows his way around this maze,” Jin Guangyao said after they’d been wandering for nearly a shichen without finding anything but more cave, but he settles down a bit after Lan Xichen gives him a look. “I didn’t mean anything by it, erge, you know that. I just meant that it would be nice if we had a guide – ah!”

“What happened?”

“Dage’s saber – it bit me!”

Lan Xichen blinked. “…I’m sorry?”

“The beast head on the hilt! It bit me!” Jin Guangyao took another step, yelped again, and retreated.

Lan Xichen frowned thoughtfully and looked ahead, then turned to go down another fork. “Anything now?”

“No, it’s quiet. Why do you – no. Erge. We’re not following the directions given by a saber! Who would do that?”

“It’s not a saber, it’s Baxia,” Lan Xichen said calmly. “It’s fine. Nie Mingjue always did say Baxia had a better sense of direction than he did.”

“I thought he just meant that he didn’t have any,” Jin Guangyao said. “I didn’t think he meant…”

He trailed off, a strange look coming into his eyes.

“Do you think Baxia took it personally, back in the Sun Scorching Palace, when I said – ow!”

“Maybe you should consider apologizing,” Lan Xichen suggested, doing his best to hide a smile.

This map is the most up to date version as of 3-4-2023 and takes into account all recent movement on anti-trans legislation

Some amazing book dedications: 

wtf?

OK Tumblr Geriatric Ward, let’s talk about your posture-

there are things you should be doing now to prevent yourself from starting to look like 🥀

Why does it matter? Future you would like to avoid the pain, limited motion, and fall risk that goes along with worsening posture.

What’s the focus?

1. Keep the flexibility in your spine

2. Stretch the muscles in the front

3. Strengthen the muscle in the back

Here are some simple things you can do daily while sitting and when you get up to go into the bathroom or the kitchen

Keep the flexibility by doing these repeated movements: 10 repetitions several times a day

The goal is to give yourself a double or triple chin. Keep your nose pointing forward, don’t let it tip up or down

Thoracic extension- use a chair with a seat back that comes up to the level of your shoulder blades. Try to bend back over the top of the chair without arching away from the seat back and without extending your neck. If the pressure from the top of the chair is uncomfortable you can place a towel there

Stretch the muscles in the front by using a door frame. This one will feel good afterwards

If this isn’t enough of a stretch you can do one side at a time. If you have the right arm up step forward with the right foot and turn slightly to the left. Then do it on the other side.

Strengthen the muscles in the back by squeezing your shoulder blades together for a count of 10 and then repeating 10 times. You can do this several times a day Hint: Don’t lift your shoulder blades up

There are lots more exercises for strengthening your back muscles but this is a good starting point and easy to do. I like doing it while driving

Tips:

Do the best you can

If it hurts stop

Envision future you saying thank you each time you do one of the exercises

i'm losing my shit at this the delivery is absolutely flawless

Soulmates