There’s A Goat! Why Is There A Goat!? oh My God! There’s A Fucking Lama!

25 years of ads peeled away

Oh, wyrm?

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

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Here have some Lloyd Headcanons

Also yes polyninja (Jay x Cole x Kai x Zane) is a thing in this and this specifically pre-movie Lloyd (so maybe I’m not a big fan of the new seasons the designs and lore change caught me off okay)

Even after all these years, he still has a mischievous streak and likes to occasionally catch the other ninja off guard and prank them (which he had gotten very good at thanks to Jay’s teaching)

People say he’s the leader of the ninja, the ninja say he’s the gremlin

Sometimes he can’t help but manically cackle when he laughs

Worst sleeper of the ninja, besides Jay. He’s a night owl and an early bird, so good luck trying to make him sleep more than 5 hours.

Electro pop, rock, My Chemical Romance and Marina and the Diamonds for days.

Gets very uncomfortable and awkward around his fans, especially the more…bolder ones.

You thought Cole had a sweet tooth? Wait until you meet him. The ninja are banned from half of Ninjago’s candy stores because of him.

On the ace-spectrum and either aromantic, demiromantic or panromantic

A good chunk of his clothes are hand-me-downs from the other ninja, some he just straight up stole without the other ninja knowing, the other half are from 3 AM emergency runs to the store for midnight snacks and he happened to find something that caught his interest

Because he’s a terrible sleeper, he can and will fall asleep anywhere if he’s not given anything to do. Leave him alone for more than 2 minutes? Boom, he’s running a free-death trial.

Sarcastic whenever the other ninja are fawning over each other.

*whenever one of the other ninja makes a joke that’s outdated* pfft. Millennials.

Skinny and gets cold very easily. You will find this boy in a sweatshirt in 80 degree weather.

Always carries a fidget cube with him wherever he goes (except on missions).

He has somewhat-fangs and will not hesitate to bite someone if needed (if they’re ever captured, the enemies first mistake was not gagging him).

Cat pupils

He likes cuddling (platonic obvs) with the other ninja and people have learned that if he falls asleep with you touching him somehow that he greatly trusts you and that you have been blessed.

He’s the shortest of the team around 5’ 4”

Because he’s the elemental master of energy his metabolism is extremely weird. Sometimes he’ll be able to eat twice as much as Cole does on the daily and gain no weight whatsoever, but other times he’ll have a few granola bars for a day and call it good.

Swears like a drunken sailor when none of the ninja are there to stop him

He can climb anything. He regularly goes out with Cole to mountain climb. Has no fear of heights whatsoever. One minute he’ll be on the ground the next he’s 50 feet above you.

Lloyd loves to ride in the shopping cart during late-night snack runs

His ears are a bit pointy

Sometimes he’ll put his hair up in a messy man-bun during training

Whatever you do, do not trust a word he says during April Fool’s Day

He likes getting spoiled but will never admit it

Sometimes he feels left out when the other ninja are cuddling but he doesn’t want to make it awkward for them and ask so he kind of just cuddles with a stuffed animal until they’re done

And yes he does have a stuffed animal he has multiple there’s a dark green snake, a brown ferret, a Mimikyu, an Eevee and they all have names

His favorite Eeveelution is either Umbreon or Slyveon he can’t decide.

He actually doesn’t wear green that much (it gets annoying and boring after wearing it constantly for missions) and when he does it’s either a dark forest green or a jade-camo color.

He likes the colors yellow and purple too

He loves lemon meringue and mint chip ice cream

Him using lipgloss and chapstick is a secret he’ll take to his grave

He smells faintly like a mix of evergreen, mint, vanilla and sugar.

Quotes John Mulaney (or whoever his Ninjago counterpart would be) on the daily and no one understands him and he suffers a little bit everytime time

He also quotes vines, which Kai and Jay will get so that makes the John-Mulaney quoting a bit more bearable

He loves stray cats. But birds are his enemy. Get birds away from him. Especially the white cockatoos with the crazy head feathers that puff out and scream.

He has plants he takes care off and gets very worried if he’s away for too long.

You do not want to see this man angry, and I mean actually angry, pissed off angry, he will instill the fear of God in you. He’ll go quiet, his eyes will turn red (they’re green when they’re not) and he’ll just stare at you. Then he’ll add you onto The List. Look, he isn’t evil, but if somehow he does turn evil…

Sometimes he’ll go to Hot Topic to treat himself

If the ninja want payback for some prank he pulled in them, all they have to do is mention is the bangs he had as a kid and he won’t mess with you for weeks.

Ninjago Headcanons: Lloyd Montgomery-Garmadon  💚💛

One possible explanation for the pomegranate tying Persephone to the underworld has to do with Ancient Greek Marriage ceremonies.

At the end of the wedding there was a procession between the bride’s old house and her husband’s house. Sometimes by foot, sometimes on a chariot. Oftentimes the groom would drag the bride back to his house by her wrist, performing a ritual kidnapping of sorts.

When the bride reached her new home with her husband she would be offered a fruit. What kind and the general purpose of this part of the ceremony is inconsistent. But the bride taking a bite out of the fruit generally signified her acceptance of her new family and completed the wedding ceremony.

So why does the pomegranate tie Persephone to the underworld? We’ll never know for sure, but it’s possible that she didn’t accept fruit from him at first because she knew that would complete the marriage ceremony. So her eating the pomegranate, whether on purpose or because she was tricked, completes the ceremony and seals her to Hades’ household, making them officially married.

Did Persephone eat the pomegranate willingly? Idk make up your own mind on that one.

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