09.27.2016 - 023/100 Days Of Productivity

Me, sunlight and coding. #coding #programming https://www.instagram.com/p/BuDYwzShTTt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1imsxu4hpboh9

Just 62°F/17°C here and it feels already like autumn.

what i say: i like learning languages

what i mean: thanks to duolingo i can say "she reads a newspaper" in twelve european languages

The choreography in “Rewrite the Stars” is honestly genius.

The whole scene is staged in such a way that for the first half of the song, Phillip is continuously trying to pull Anne back to him each time she tries to pull away. He’s trying to hold her in place at his level, on the ground. Even when she soars up into the air, he keeps trying to literally pull her back down: grabbing on to her hand, her waist, the rope, her hoop. Anything to keep her in place with him. 

But for the second half of the song, Phillip stops trying to hold her down and instead follows after her into the air, basically saying through the choreography, “If we can’t be together in my world, can we be together in yours?”

And only once they’re both in the air - the space that reflects the freedom the circus gives them - does Anne allow herself to consider the idea that they could actually be together. Phillip stops waiting for her to stay on the ground with him and puts in the work to be with her, literally scaling the walls of the theater to reach her. In more ways than one, they end up finding a balance and supporting each other’s weight for the rest of the song.

What I’m trying to say is that the choreography in The Greatest Showman is not only absolutely gorgeous, it’s also incredibly deliberate and tells a story through movement and I love it so much. 

Source.

49/100 days of productivity + SUN 10.23.16 // 7:41am

theme of the week: chemistry. october sciences (4/4);;;; chemistry and me are like those characters in tv shows who start off as mortal enemies and then slowly become best friends +++ learning about collagen, vitamin c, and periodontal ligaments!

Please tell me it's okay that I just failed a class. I came this far, then bombed a big project and it's an automatic fail. I had to drop the class.

FUCK YES. ITS OKAY TO FAIL.

Sometimes we try and try and try but in the end we still fail. I honestly have been there so many times.

I did an assignment for cognition last year. I started on the first day and spend A LOT of time on it. Guess what? I got 10%.

I did a stats test before and I spend a shit load of time studying and doing past papers. Guess what? I got 0. A big fucking zero.

I spent 4 years swimming and going to every single training session. Guess what? At every race I got LAST PLACE. 

I spend 2 years doing table tennis. Every session we had competitions against my team mates who were 4 years younger then me. Guess what? I lost every session, every competition to EVERYONE.

When I fail, I literally sob my eyes out because it fucking hurts. It hurts because I have tried so hard and got nothing. It hurts because everyone who tried less seemed to have done much better then me. So then I start asking myself “why do I even bother trying?!”

And then slowly these things will start creeping up on me:

If I didn’t try then I might have failed worse

There is literally no where to go but up now

Now I know where I went wrong. Now I can try TWICE as hard.

Fuck this piece of paper. In the end its just a piece of paper. I am alive and well and I am not going to let a piece of paper to defeat me. 

Whatever it takes. Even if I fail again, I am going to crawl back up on my hands and knees.

Does it work? Honestly, sometimes. Failure still hurts but I am crawling up. I am crying but I am still going. Tomorrow, I will wake up having failed but it will hurt less. Tomorrow I will try and try and try again. 

Workout for the mind 🏋️

Exam Tensions

My exams are starting from 18th (this Friday!) and I am tensed. I mean who wouldn’t be? I like to call them pre-exam jitters. But the most frustrating part about these exams is that they are gonna last a month! A full month. Although there is like a six days gap before phase 2. 

Apart from the umcoming exams, I am really excited for the upcoming semester. I have big plans. First, to start the semester off really well. Staying focused and top of my to do list. Not depending on my professors ( a grave mistake) and also catching up on my reading. 

Wish me luck!