Wao! 50 Posts :D

Mom

If there was something that annoyed me greatly in my childhood,

It would be all the little boys and girls– That would cry out for their mothers

Their shrieks and wailing. It made my head ache

No, I'm nothing like those children

I don't need a mother, I don't need her at all

I've grown stronger, becoming an adult more quickly than others

She looks at me with foggy eyes, they are unable to comfort

I hate her, I can't bear to look into her eyes devoid of love

She doesn't say anything, only sighs, and I immediately know what she means

I pity her, I'm okay with her leaving a child she didn't want.

She holds a knife, slowly cutting into the board

I loathe her, I wish she'd step out of my life– let me breathe

She leaves the room, and it's like she was never there. I'm left with an open wound

I miss her. I yearn for her touch, no matter how forced it felt

“Mom, where did you go?” I ask

“Mom, come back!” I cry out.

“Mom, hold me!” I yell.

“Mom, tell me I'm still your little girl,” I beg.

Mom, you really are a cruel and tragic woman

How dare you give birth to a child and walk away

How dare you leave me all alone in this world

Anguish.

Vicious. Demeaning. Sweet. Dotty. Antonyms that, to the average person, are simply words. The reflection of every mirror of who you are speaks to me differently. To say we suffered equal amounts is laughable. You spent your nights crying. You spent your nights in fury, pensive. I held you when allowed to, waited when you left. Soaked in every insult, every complaint. I drank the poison poured for me, to forget my miserable existence. I used devices that my parents put out on me, smoke filling my lungs and spilling through my eyes. Refusal to breathe, not as if you'd let me up anyways. I suffered in silence as your screams of betrayal echoed the halls. You displayed every knife on a wall of shame, I had to hide the fact I was bleeding. Are you aware that you dug this mess?

Several months I held you. Waiting for the truth, waiting for you to tell me the truth. Your sheer refusal, you're adamant on your innocence when everything you've touched has been tainted. You've damaged everything good that has come close to you, clawing at salvation. Praying to a God you mocked me for believing in. I prayed for my freedom, I prayed for the truth. I prayed that I wouldn't die by your hands. You have mocked my existence, and yet whispers of your crimes still linger these walls. Are you aware that those you consider close to you, don't hold you as close as you hold them?

I turn a blind eye to those you are currently hurting, guilty conscious keeping me up at night. You're in a similar boat, I can tell. You are falling apart. I waited several months quietly, waiting for you to tell me the truth. To confide in me as you said you would. You never did. You never threw a ball for me to swing at, and then call me a bad batter. All I wanted was to cater to your beck and call. Myself destroyed, it wouldn't have mattered because you'd be happy. Why was what I did for you something that made you happiest this year?

Where were you when I was soaking the carpet with salty veins of water? Where were you when I begged for the mercy of a higher being, for a listening ear? You can sit there and say I didn't do much for you, and yet the marks of your nails of desperation scar my thighs and back. I showed my all to you, revenge and forgiveness. Forget and cleanslates. Nothing was enough for you. An overwhelming need to be a king that you aren't. The chambers of your terrifying childhood never let you out, blinded by the fear instilled by the ones you were supposed to trust. Why must you mock every person I care for? Are you infuriated that they are loyal to me, with no one in your own corner?

I'm sorry they let you down. You have no reason to pray on the younger beings we are destined to protect, with the excuse of "I went through it too", however. May whatever being controls this sad life leads you to some sort of saving grace, for I can not help you. May it have mercy on your soul. You disgust me. I used to beg for some sort of solace. Now, I'm going to lead with justice. Are you ready?

trans men be like hot and shit like they're just hot as fuck like what the fuck man why are you being so hot god damn

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You with the crack running through you”

Math class 🤩💔

especially in math class

i think they're gonna make it, guys

src

"joke"