What I Photograph On My Walk. May 9th.

your ed is just as valid if you don’t enjoy hunger. valid if you aren’t a white teenage girl. valid if you aren’t uw. valid if you eat junk and sweets. valid if you don’t purge. valid if you don’t exercise. valid if you do high res. valid if you don’t fast. valid if you have never passed out. valid if you enjoy the taste of food. valid if you don’t like diet coke. valid if your suffering isn’t all perfectly aesthetic and dainty and serene.

This is kinda a ramble post but I need answers.

Okay maybe it's because I'm a guy and unsure on how to tell if a girl likes me or is just being nice. And I don't want to do or say anything that might make them uncomfortable. I'm coming to the lovely people on Tumblr for help.

So a female friend and me were sitting together at the park listening to Chase Atlantic just enjoying the sunshine and eating sour candy I bought for us. And I guess some of the sugar got under my thumb ring so I took it off to clean it. Without skipping a beat she looked at me with the biggest smile and said 'I hope someday I'll find some to love me the way you love your ring' I was confused at first until she took my hand and held it up to me. She somehow notice the dented in my finger where my ring sits all the time. Then she stared into my eyes for a solid thirty seconds before continuing on her candy.

What do I do? Was that causal and I'm just making things weird or did I mess something up?

A relapse doesn’t erase the progress you made by staying clean.

If you’ve been clean for a day, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a week, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a month, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for longer, I’m proud of you.

If you relapsed after being clean for a while, I’m proud of you for staying clean however long you did. A relapse isn’t the end of the world. I’m still proud of you for everything you did to try to stay clean.

If you have tried to stay clean and failed, I’m proud of you for trying. It’s hard, I know. Don’t give up. I’m proud of you.

No matter what, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for everything. I’m proud of you for being alive right now. Don’t say you don’t deserve this, because you do. You very much do.

Thank you for existing.

Here's some lentil soup I made and a update. I don't have pneumonia thankfully. But I do have acute bronchitis and I'm on antibiotics and an inhaler. This soup is delicious also.

First food of the day. It's 6:42 in the evening but it's all good.

Lettuce and spinach salad with ranch and cheese. A piece of fried chicken seasoned with paprika, salt and pepper. Paired with hibiscus tea. I really enjoy loose leaf tea but it's so expensive.

February, 18th. I didn't do much today.

My breakfast and dinner. Steamed egg with broccoli and carrots paired with lemon water.

For breakfast I had bread with strawberry jelly, a repulsive breakfast burrito that I feed to some stray cats and some ham.

i love u if ur disability/mental illness/etc makes you do things that are "gross" to others.

bedrotting, wetting, having messy rooms, not bathing, i love you. its okay and i love you.

im very proud of myself.

I saved a baby bird yesterday. Found it below the nest and I called a wildlife preserve and the guy on the phone helped me figure out how to handle it. After we had a good laugh about it trying to bite me. I scoped it up in my coat to keep it warm because it was missing a ton of feathers. The bird had been throwing dud eggs out for a while and I guess the baby wanted to join.

I just realized that I'm super late to the intro post.

I suck at doing these.

You can call me Felix or real what ever comes to mind. I personally don't have a preference.

I use (He/they) pronouns. In in my mid twenties and broke as a joke.

I've had a eating disorder for most of my life and I started my recovery journey because it was actually killing me.

I love photograph and reading and I welcome any and all D.Ms and message no matter what kind as long as they're respectful.

It's okay to eat 'more than you need.' Maybe you are extra hungry! Maybe there is a fun event and you are sharing in social joy! Maybe you just wanted something because it made your day better. You are allowed to enjoy food and not think of it in terms of numbers.