That Feeling When You Come Back To A Fic After A Break And Realize The Last 1,000 Or So Words You Wrote

I had such high hopes for how much I would write this week.

But then I discovered Look Outside and put like 15 hours into that instead.

And my first Rarepair week fic ballooned out of my control.

Life amirite

Based

"Mina is Dracula's long lost lover and Van Helsing is his archnemesis" shut the fuck up it's the exact opposite of this

I was finally able to eke out about 500 words today.

And I'm a simple woman. I like to see how my works are doing out there. As a treat to my ego.

So I just found the AO3 Statistics page and? there are 12 people? subscribed to one of my fics???

If there were 12 people in my house right now, waiting for me to say something, I would cry. Like mostly happy tears.

idk it's just so humbling and lovely

So excited for this!! And I have some of my pairs picked out 👀

* Fake Relationship: Shane/Sam

* Close Proximity: Leah/Abigail

* Opposites Attract: Shane/Elliott

* Forbidden Love: Caroline/Jodi

* Free Day: Haley/Penny

Still noodling on Enemies to Lovers and Second Chances. The inspo will surely come… maybe. We’ll see!

INTRODUCING RAREPAIR WEEK: 21ST - 27TH APRIL 2025

We have been teasing this on the server for a while now, so I am excited to announce the prompts below.

RULES AND FAQ HERE

Happy writing everyone!

me and my beloved reader who tells me my fic made them cry

Camellia Station

Name: Camellia Station

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Ship: Elliott/Shane

Status: Ongoing

Notes: Chapter 8 preview. Not edited yet.

Read the whole fic on AO3

Someone else was with her and Shane couldn't bear to look at him in anything other than a side glance. Elliott wore a somber smile as he stepped forward and held out his parting gifts. A composition book, not one of the kinds with metal spiral binding, but one stitched together on the inside. The other was a leather-bound copy of some old book that Shane didn't read the title of because he was too embarrassed to be getting gifts at all.

"Thanks. Uhm… super thoughtful," Shane said as he set his bag down, took the books, then rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

"My pleasure. I'm… we're all very proud of you, Shane. This path is a thorny one to walk, but you have the strength to see it to the end. I believe that whole-heartedly."

"Fuck's sake," he huffed, eyes stinging.

The past four days already left him feeling like an exposed nerve end. Three days in the clinic to detox and wait out a 72-hour hold, one spent at home so he could pack while his paperwork got approved. Harvey worked quick to make sure there was a bed ready for him at a six week program in Zuzu. Shane suspected the good doctor planned for this well in advance.

Now he stood here, belly full of pancakes Marnie helped Jas make, and had to endure an unexpected going away party. They might be there to actually see him off or they could be there to make sure he didn't walk in front of the train. Maybe both. Probably both.

Emily got the balloons off the basket's handle and pressed it into Shane's open hand. He had to readjust his things, stuffed the books into his bag so he could get out his ticket when the train came. Once that was settled, Emily pulled him into a big bear hug. He froze, stunned for a moment that she was hugging him at all and that she was so damn strong. Then he returned the hug with as much strength as he could muster. Over her shoulder, he met Elliott's eyes and held them for a moment before looking away.

"When did you start lifting steel beams for fun? What the hell?" He asked, wheezing a little for effect.

She pulled away, took a step back and wiped her eyes as she giggled.

"You'd be surprised what carrying kegs around can do for a girl."

Shane picked up his bag, felt the extra weight of his gifts in it. Felt the extra weight of other people's expectations. Or maybe it was their genuine good will? As he looked between the two of them, Shane honestly wasn't sure what was better or worse.

Was he suppose to say something now? Make a speech or cry or gush about how much their support meant? He had no idea how to behave and it didn't look like they did, either. At least he wasn't the only one who wasn't equipped for this kind of thing. The three stood in relative silence, Emily only chiming in now and then with a word of encouragement or a remark about how the fog started to clear up.

Elliott tried to keep up the conversation, but it kept petering out, returning them back to uneasy quiet periodically. But Shane appreciated his effort. He appreciated Emily's, too, but Elliott held more weight in his mind right now. After all the weird shit that went on between them since the Spring, it continued to amaze him that the guy would keep showing up. That Shane kept wanting him to show up.

Faint anxiety stirred in Shane's chest. It occurred to him that Elliott might use Shane's stint in rehab as an excuse to put some distance between them. It was his life, sure, but the thought that Elliott might choose to stop coming around made Shane nervous in a way he couldn't quite understand. It was like the feeling he had right before he got the results from all the x-rays and CT scans when they were trying to figure out if he could play gridball again. Like something bad that he never anticipated was just around the corner.

A train horn sounded in the distance. Almost time.

He decided to see what a little courage might feel like.

I’ve gotten a friend into A Stain and I cannot overstate how fast I texted her about this update!! Like I saw the post and my consciousness beamed directly into hers basically.

AND GODDAMN WHAT A CHAPTER

It nourished my soul ❤️

Stardew Valley - 57/? - A Stain that Won’t Dissolve - Alex/Sebastian

Title: A Stain that Won’t Dissolve Rating: Explicit Pairing: Alex/Sebastian Tags: Hurt/comfort, aged-up characters (mid 20s), minor character death, angst, injury, grief, miscommunication, bullying, enemies to lovers, dubious consent, internalised homophobia, closeted character, past child abuse, dyslexia, antagonist farmer, unrequited love, pining, acceptance, top!Sebastian, bottom!Alex, power dynamics, happy ending.

Summary: Alex hates Sebastian – which is great because Sebastian more than returns the favour – and what starts out as revenge fantasy turns into unironic lust, which evolves into unrequited love. Alex gets a job, Sebastian marries the farmer, and both of them lose almost everything before finding each other again. A story of two mutual bullies who learn how to messily grow up.

A Stain that Won’t Dissolve - Chapter 57 - End a Fight With Flowers

In which Sebastian finally gets Alex to talk to him, but not without some pressure first, and Alex reveals a lot more than he meant to. At the end of their conversation, Sebastian presents Alex with something unexpected.

Untitled Jotakak

Name: Untitled

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Ship: Jotaro/Kakyoin

Status: Unpublished WIP; unedited

Notes: AU where Kakyoin lives; post Part 3/ pre Part 4

Here's the thing about heartbreak: sometimes it's gradual. It's in the days of waiting for someone to come back, in the listening for a phone call, in the wishing and pining and knowing it will never work. Heartbreak is in the growing apart, the falling away in slow motion. It's in the sudden stop.

Kakyoin took the long way home.

He lingered in the cold, mostly barren streets, pausing often to look up at the few stars he could see through the streetlights. Heavy footsteps finally found him in front of the convenience store.

Perhaps it wasn't his brightest idea, but he bought a six pack. It didn't matter what kind of beer it was, really. As long as it worked.

The cashier rang him up, a knowing smile on her face. Or maybe that was just his projection. Surely unhappiness was plain on his face. Either way, he paid and went quickly on his way.

Down to the riverbank. Someplace as in-between as he felt.

He didn't want to go home and he couldn't really keep wandering forever. Sitting in the grass, he cracked open the first beer and sipped at it. The taste was sharper than he remembered. Not unpleasant, though.

The word that had been chasing him the entire way finally started to fade: engaged. Engaged. I'm engaged. Engaged.

Of course Jotaro's tone had been almost unreadable. But there was something strange and cruel wrapped up in his announcement. Why? That wasn't the Jotaro he knew… The man who tried to hide it but was kind down to his core. The man who was shedding his delinquent facade as he grew older, becoming a better version of his old self every day.

The one he'd wait patiently by the phone for in anticipation of their weekly calls. Who he'd reschedule his life around to make sure they could meet during breaks. The man who he was planning to follow to America as soon as he was fully healed and able to go.

His best friend.

The man he loved.

He was partway through beer three when things started to sting a little less. The idea of helping Jotaro plan a wedding and giving a speech praising the new union was painful. He was giving Jotaro away.

But, so what? He took another long pull from the can. I never planned on confessing or anything. I was going to keep the boat steady. This upsets everything, though. That bastard… we had a good thing going. Why waste it on a woman? On love?

Kakyoin made a derisive sound in the back of his throat.

"A good thing"? What good thing? A long distance friendship. Eventually going to the same college together. More of the same until they died? How would that have worked? Of course Jotaro would get married and carry on the Joestar line. Stupid to think that he would die a bachelor. Stupid to think that he would consider being with a man and losing the opportunity to have kids.

Kakyoin crushed the mostly empty can, the remaining liquid at the bottom spraying out suddenly. He barely noticed, his mind still wrapped up in his own thoughts.

They could have had kids together, damn it! There had to be options! Options that would be an uphill battle to obtain. And they could never get married, not really. Their families would be so disappointed. He imagined Holly's confused, upset face and it was too much.

He let the can slip out of his grasp and held his face in his hands. He was crying freely now.

All these feelings for Jotaro were wrong. He'd always known that this was part of his life he'd never be able to live. Stuck in a place that didn't understand or approve of how he felt. It was so painful. He had hoped moving to America would make things easier. It seemed so much more free over there for people like him. Maybe he'd even find out Jotaro felt the same way, eventually.

Not now.

He had to steel himself for the days ahead. The engagement changed nothing. He was still going to America. He'd still stay by Jotaro's side no matter what. Even if it meant pushing everything he felt so far down that he could never reach it. No matter what, he owed Jotaro his life and he would repay that at any cost.

His resolve strengthened a little, Kakyoin cleaned up his empties and pushed himself to his feet. The world felt fuzzy around the edges and his steps weren't the most steady, but he managed to make it home.

Once inside his apartment he collapsed on the couch and fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

Jeremy Brett was easily the best Holmes

I had to download the episode and cut out this scene because I need this clip from Granadas The Speckled Band. It's the scene that made me fall in love with Jeremy Brett. <3

The laugh! The smile! This man was such a treasure. <3 <3 <3

Camellia Station officially has over 500 hits!

I know that’s not indicative of people who read it in full or individual, unique users or whatever

Still though… it feels like a huge milestone and I’m proud of myself 🥹

It’s my first long fic (and my second fic since I started writing fiction four months ago). Idk just feels special.

If you’re interested, check it out on AO3!