Reminder That Earth Has A Kickass Moon And You Should Go Look At It

I love geometry dash

Our mother: 0 Autism: 5

I should be able to google my gender

The waterfowl approach the stall which sold beverages comprised of lemons and sugar and, in an act of comedic absurdity, inquired of the vendor, “good fellow! have ye any grapes?”

“Ras could be brainwashing him and he wouldn’t even know!”

Says the guy who’s so impressionable that he believes everything intelligent George says

My brain when my hair freezes on the way to class and when I get there I find out the building flooded and the class has been moved across campus and when I finally get to the other building I find out class has been canceled for the day: "this is fine, you can handle this no problem"

My brain when I have to read two chapters of a textbook: "you are actually going to die in mere minutes"

Normal people (gets random chest pain): it’s probably nothing but what if it actually is serious and i have to go to the hospital!

Me (gets random chest pain): it’s probably nothing but what if i grow an extra pair of arms from my abdomen and have to hide them for the rest of my life. Also they are bug arms not human arms like human arm sized bug arms

how to confound a centaur confounder

centaur: hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something

confounder: that's fair. how about we-

centaur: and it can't be a pun battle. I heard what you did to the sphynx

confounder: darn. okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

centaur: Ha! Alright, where's the finish line?

confounder: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

centaur: let me just call him

confounder: you're not a horse, this is a wait what

centaur: SVENTAL! HERE BOY!

*massive six-legged, four-eyed horse gallops around the bend wearing a saddle made for a centaur*

confounder: that is NOT a horse

centaur: it IS a horse, it just has six legs and four eyes and is large enough for me to ride. You agreed to a horse race, you didn't specify it had to have four legs.

confounder: ...

centaur: ...

confounder: I hate you

centaur: you brought this upon yourself