Finally Out Of The Hospital And Reunited With My Art Tablet. Here's A Digital Painting Of Some Tulips

Practicing something a bit more realistic.

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

you will probably not look like a skinny white anime girl when you transition you will likely look like someone's mom and you need to realize how swag this is

LETS SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL

tumblr staff will let the thousands of porn bots on here run rampant yet will take down trans comics with no actual nudity

i originally reblogged this post, but since staff took it down you can't fucking see my reblog anymore. well i liked this comic, i want it on my blog, and it does not include any fucking nudity. especially compared to all the straight up porn staff allows to go free

so here it is

untitled by Pas (paxiti), all pages from May 23, 2018 to June 22, 2023

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

So not that long ago the group that I take part in writing workshops with did a workshop on Haiku and Haibun, and I went a little off the deep end and wrote a funky sci-fi short story Haibun thing. Anyway, here you go. *Note: I might end up editing and changing it later. ------------------------------

The docking bays stand tall over the promenade, a pier of iron and steel beneath which roam hundreds of arriving faces. Shuttlecrafts slowly empty themselves of scavengers and refugees, survivors who have seen their homes destroyed. Around me every face has been marred by desperation and every arrival is heralded with relief.

Sea of brown and gray Hungry mouths, aching bodies Safe for the first time

Legends stalk through the crowd, saviors from a bygone age. A steel-suited force once thought forgotten. Staves, swords, knives, guns, all equally deadly in their iron grip. It is hard not to notice the breaks and dents in their once exquisite armor.

Warriors of Old Leaving their worlds behind Battle among stars

Through the translucent sheen of the docking bay’s energy shield we watch as our once blue and green home is overtaken by a swath of shining red. The promenade’s steel booths, once dedicated to trade and commerce, are repurposed and used to distribute food among the starving crowd. A violent plague sweeps across the planet below, and we know we will never return.

Eating at long last A first night among many Watching our world burn

Days become weeks, weeks become months as our would be saviours repeatedly plunge to the planet below. Whispers of small victories spread through the station’s corridors, rumors of safe havens and thriving populations feeding desperate hopes. It would be easy to miss that our saviours’ numbers seem smaller with each return they make.

Battling the plague Plunging Heroes Fall Beneath The Hope of Masses

The station slumbers, its people adhering to their anachronous routines, small comfort for the displaced. My footfalls ring out among reticent corridors, the night quiet giving its own familiar ease. Reprieve is broken as metal clashes. Nearly hidden, two legends quarrel.

A knife is fumbled Shining steel shears armor Sword slides between ribs

Hasty, heavy footfalls rush from the secluded battlefield before fading into obscurity. Unseen, I approach the fallen champion, unprepared to give the aid I offer. Their wound does not bleed, streaks of red splayed beneath steel skin. Trembling hands open damaged armor, as I make my greatest mistake.

Plague engulfing me Tendrils through body and mind It’s taking control

My world becomes red. All consuming Rage. All Consuming Hunger. No Me, only Us. One body perishing, the other still weak. The enemy’s strength lies ready before us. Our forming corpse drags itself from the wreckage. Our weakling slides inside. We are weak no longer.

Wielder unwell Infestation levels high Simply will not do

WE CANNOT BE PURGED. Pain runs through our body, lightning through my bones. THERE IS NO YOU, THERE IS US. Screaming assaults my ears, my mouth dry from the exertion. YOUR TIME IS LIMITED. THERE IS STILL ANOTHER. Vision grows black, consiousness fades.

Recover, wearer. Infection levels dropping, You will be alright

An electronic voice speaks into my ear as my eyes slowly open. A steel second skin covers me, though I do not feel it’s weight. I begin to sit, to stand, slow careful movements made easier on my aching body by armored systems I do not understand. My eyes catch sight of the corpse beside me and it is made clear, plague has reached us.

Carrier running Searching for the next victim To give to the plague

Screaming pulls me from my stupor and I begin to run. As I near the sound, I find three survivors laying before me, red streaks running from superficial wounds. ‘They have been infected,’ the voice informs me moments before they begin to stand. They lunge, but I am armored and they are not.

Blood now on my hands Refugees become corpses I do what I must

Running. Fighting. Running. Fighting. I pour through the hallway, my steel steps echoing just behind my mark’s. Each moment his steps seem closer. Each moment my armored hands are stained with more of the blood of fellow survivors. I see him turn a corner and he is mine at last.

Nowhere left to run I must bring this to an end Lest he doom us all

His rust-red sword lashes out, skilled, but worn. Expert strikes slowed by fatigue are easily dodged. He pulls back and begins to circle, I cannot let him recover.

Fist stands against sword A sharp pain through my belly I cannot fail here

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN US. My arms wraps around him, pinning his in place. NOW YOU SHALL PERISH. My head impacts his again and again. WE SHALL BECOME ALL. He struggles, but despite my wound he cannot escape. YOUR EFFORTS ARE FUTILE. His body goes limp, but I continue until my own sight grows dark.

Neophyte Legend Dying alongside first foe Fate has other plans

Bright light in my eyes awakens me. Rage, Hunger within my mind. Deep breaths keep it calm as my body recovers. Months pass, armor and body are both repaired but my mind is not the same. I will learn to manage. Soon I take my first plunge.

Fighting planetside I can sense its location A boon from my curse

Armored warriors, we battle the plague below. An unexpected boon becomes our greatest strength. We gain ground, make progress, and our numbers remain strong. In moments of reprieve my mind turns to the station above.

Watchers from above Spots of blue on a red sphere Fueling their hopes

I have a problem. I’ll be laying in bed staring up at the ceiling and I’ll get so many writing/scene/story ideas and then when I go to write them down my brain is like “Uhhhh… wut?”