Oh My Fucking God

I posted this on a discord a while back, but I decided I should post a version here too. That being said, I present to you:

I HAVE GAZED INTO THE ABYSS AND THE ABYSS ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO WATCH A GAME

or

The culmination of a feverish night of theory crafting after a sudden epiphany like a vision from an angry god, which may or may not be pertinent to the plot of “20021, a Football Story” by Jon Bois, whenever that comes out

See, okay, the whole deal with this thing is; If either Nick and Manny get caught and fail to bring the footballs home, or succeed and bring the footballs home, it will become a big story that it was only two guys who stole the footballs from Georgia Tech. This tells Michigan State that the locomotive lateral was performed by two guys, and thus, it would have been almost impossible for them to split the balls up, meaning the 9 balls that MI ST went up by at the end of the locomotive lateral would have been all the balls that GTECH had (given that it dropped in rank to the 0 ball teams at the same time as MI ST increased by 9). If someone from MI ST took a screenshot of their scoreboard before and after the lateral they would be able to tell that by the time the lateral was completed:

1: MI ST has 24 balls

2: GA SO has at most 14 balls because they were a place below MI ST before the lateral when Michigan had 15 balls

3: SC ST has at most 8 balls because they were a place below GTECH, which (based on the number of balls MI ST increased by and GTECH’s ranking afterward) had 9 balls before the lateral

4: CIN, HOW, and TEX likely have 3 balls each, and if they’re not sure MI ST can collaborate with one of them. Additionally, if you know that a certain team has a certain number of balls at any point in the game, then if the ranking group that team is in never drops below 2 teams, then you will always know everyone in that ranking group will have that same amount of balls even if the original team drops out of that ranking group, due to the sheer unlikelihood of every team in a ranking group gaining or losing exactly the same amount of balls at the same time. Remember, it can be days between scoreboard changes. There is a good chance that every team already knows the tied for 5th ranking group have 3 balls each.

5. If you know CIN, HOW, and TEX each have 3, then MO through to UTEP must have 2 balls each

6. There are 28 teams with exactly one ball each. The 1 ball teams extend into the remaining teams section, where you normally would not be able to see rankings and wouldn’t be able to tell which ones are 1 ball teams and which ones are goose egg (0 ball) teams. However: all teams in the same rank are organized alphabetically, and you can see that the alphabetization resets between Washington State University and Air Force Academy. Therefore a MI ST player would be able to know there are 28 one ball teams.

So: 24+14+8+3*3+2*5+1*28=93

111-93=18 balls hidden off the field, one more than the number UAB is hiding in Stannard Rock Lighthouse

Will Michigan State find 18 missing balls alarming? I don’t know. Depends on the kind of story Jon Bois wants to write. I want to believe they will, starting a frenzy that uncovers UAB’s hidden dynasty as the most powerful team in the entire college bowl, which somehow forces UAB to resurrect their steamroller play One Last Time.

Maybe that’ll give Val something to talk about, other than loathsome mosquitoes lurking in limestone quarry ponds, which may or may not have contributed to the construction of the Empire State Building.

I can only say one thing for certain:

Stay in school, kids. It makes you better at cross-country football.

pov you're with the bad kids at detention 🏫

(one day we'll have a full group, trust!!)

taken at eccc 2025

@stvksn on ig

I recently took a trip to San Diego to visit my cousin, so I decided to stop by SDSU campus to take pictures of the field Nick and Manny trained on.

Which brings me to an interesting point. This thing Juice said about getting a new stadium but plans falling through?

Plans did not fall through IRL! The old stadium built at an angle that makes the whole 20020 plot possible? Demolished to build a new stadium.

Pictured:

• The original SDCCU Stadium

• The new Snapdragon Stadium being built

• The finished Snapdragon stadium

Where the old field stood is now a parking lot.

Here is a picture of the exact patch of gravel.

Here’s the new stadium shot from where the old stadium stood.

Here are some panos taken standing where the old field was!

dropout, please make one of those overly specific shirts that's like, "Don't mess with me!!! I'm a SIDEWINDER 👏👏🐍. I'm part of a gymnastic/martial arts gym. I can backflip at 15 miles per hour. I only train at night. We're all 30, today! That's how we started the gym! I want more adrenanoxinil plutonium sulfate to do 20-foot standing vertical leaps. We put it in our Gatorade, but we're running out. I'm gym buddies with a "30-year-old" professor named Clete Gunshoot who backflips in a labcoat. I work in a hotel gift shop selling $4 hotel t-shirts, but my heart isn't in it. My name is Reggie. I guess I'm a criminal now."

Pei Pa Koa, in case anyone was interested

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i went nonverbal, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

I think dimension 20 needs to do a musical season and I'm here to present my thoughts on the table make up

jess mckenna and zach reino obviously to start. they are A Pair, they are thee musical improv girlies and I would love nothing more than to see them play dnd

rashawn scott- she did so so incredible in burrow's end and I need her back in the dome asap. also a regular on play it by ear and I love seeing her in the musical eps of msn

ross bryant- how has this man not been on d20 yet cmon. a wonderful musical improv-er and id love to see him play dnd

jiavani- once again a pibe regular and someone who makes fun and hilarious improv choices id love to see translated to rp in the dome

zeke nicholson- again another pibe reg who plays off jess and zach super well and someone i'd love to see rp in the dome

It would be really nice if Madam (Self) Loathing came back from her vacation as Madam Self Awareness. A blooming sense of self awareness would be really appropriate for this stage in Elias Hodge’s life; let him really take inventory of where he was, where he is, and where he’s going.

Y’know what would be crazy? If Bradward “raisin stud” Boimler was as popular as he was on his family’s orchard because as part of inheriting the business, he was taught some kind of impressive looking super raisin picking/sorting/hauling techniques, and he’s incredibly ashamed of it but every time he does it, it makes him look like the John Wick of raisins.