Come Get Y’all Soup-

i don’t think any of you understand. the impetus, the fucking click behind scythebelts for me, is not strictly romantic. it is that sylnan, his entire life, has been trying to hold on to everything he can and he never gets to. and velrisa, god fucking bless her, has been waiting for someone to hold on to her like that, like nobody really has.

the impetus, the fucking spark, the starting point for everything i write for them, is based upon the gutsense fucking horror of seeing someone reach for you and not knowing if they mean to catch you for certain or just until you’re not useful.

everything else is just fluff and filler. the cleric/rogue dramatics, the high contrast, the jokes, the mutual admiration, the aesthetics- all of it is fluff and filler. good, but just not why i love it.

at core and center, they are holding on to each other until they are bleeding from the goddamn fingernails because nothing else is willing to stay as static and calm as they are. nobody else- not as though it is a personal failing on anyone else’s part, it is simply the way things go- is willing to cling on as hard for some chance at steady ground. sylnan and vel are. that’s what makes me write em.

I think media needs more ambiguously queer relationships. Not just as in "non-heterosexual", but also as in "the structure of the relationship itself is queer". It goes beyond the bounds of conventional friendship, but they're not fucking about it. Or maybe they are. Maybe they kiss a few times, maybe they don't, but somehow it's not the most queer thing happening here. They've exchanged vows of love, but their actual relationship dynamic is inscrutable. Every orientation headcanon fits well within canon because they're never quite perfectly defined. Like, who knows what the fuck is happening there but whatever it is it's complex and confusing and woven into the universe itself

HOLY SHITTTTTT

hi sorry this is completely unprovoked but. i have been in love with ur fated art????? if you feel like it i think ur style would work really well for ugarth because i feel like i only see him drawn harshly and i don’t think that’s very him yk???? anyway! love your stuff, thanks for considering. heart emoji. what have you.

hi thank you so much oh my gosh???? i feel so honored!!! i love ugarth i gotta think ab him more. i gave him a shirt and shawl because i hc the wharf to be cold so Layers!!!!!!! hope u enjoy the doodles w/ sylnan :-)

more diaryposts because gxd is dead and this is my internet

i think maybe i am not afraid of love. i am afraid of the way i learned it. i am not afraid of parenthood- i want to be a father more than anything. i am afraid of the way i learned it. i am not afraid of boys. i am afraid of the way i learned to be one, to love one.

i spend my pocket money on liquor and show tickets and inhalants. i do not cut my hair. i wear ridiculous outfits and watch dirty movies i was not allowed to as a child. i am alive, alive, alive. i am living. i do not have to be liked. i do not have to be good. i do my best to be kind. it is enough.

i think he is good enough. i think i am good enough.

maybe it’ll all be good enough.

maybe it won’t be and i’ll be thirty. maybe is not enough. you cannot build a life on a maybe. you cannot rule beyond reasonable doubt when working with a maybe. you have to sit with it, and let it decide. a maybe is only a maybe for a time. sooner or later, it becomes a choice. a choice is good enough to build on, to carve into a life, to forge into a future.

what is enough is my gentleness. gentleness and goodness are two brothers, cut of the same cloth, but one of them is a god and one of them is a man. i am a boy. i am becoming a man. i have to make myself reach for the man, not the god. there is no sin in gentleness. i do not need godhood. this, here, now, is enough. gentleness is enough.

I love you PBS I love you NPR I love you public libraries I love you wikipedia I love you project gutenberg I love you librivox I love you libby I love you hoopla I love you openlibrary I love you internet archive I love you resources that make information free and accessible to the public

NEW CHAPTER

genuinely i need to be either more or less autistic about the fated. wdym nobody else has any fics for them. wdym i think of them every time i see any tiktok ever. im gonna start reading les miserable fanfic i swear to christ

come get y’all juice.

guys what if i rush a frat