SOMEONE PLEASE IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. FOOD FOR ANIMALS .* :☆ﾟ.

✿ Summary: A Compilation of Dating Headcanons Featuring Oliver X Reader

✿ Character(s): Oliver (Threadville)

✿ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

✿ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

✿ Image Credits: @Super Skeleton Studio

❀ The first time Oliver realized he liked you was during one of your veggie-pickin’ hangouts. You plucked a tomato with dirt-streaked hands, held it to the sunlight and smiled so proud — and Oliver? He forgot how to speak. The radishes got jealous. “You got a way of makin’ things glow brighter than the sun,” he’d mutter later, kicking at the dirt. “Even tomatoes,” you’d say, nudging him. He turned redder than a boiled beet.

❀ Oliver gets real nervous about gift-giving, but every month he leaves a different wildflower on your windowsill — morning glories, daffodils, clover chains. Once, he left a rock with googly eyes glued to it because “you said you liked silly things”. It’s your favorite gift.

❀ He tries to teach you how to farm, but he gets so flustered when you’re too close. Like, flapping-his-hands-and-dropping-the-watering-can flustered. “O-oh! Your hand’s on mine! Jeepers—! I mean—I don’t mind, I just—WELL DOGGONE IT I CAN’T FOCUS WHEN YOU SMILE LIKE THAT!”

❀ Oliver writes you little love notes, but they’re always hidden. Inside the seed packets. In your jacket pocket. In the breadbox?? One time you found one in the laundry with “SORRY FOR GETTIN’ SOPPY ON YA, I LIKE YOU A WHOLE LOT” written on it. He can’t say it out loud yet. But he means it.

❀ He gets protective in the gentlest ways. Pulls you close when the wind picks up. Offers you his hat when it rains. Stands between you and Veena when she’s being a little too intense. “You’re so nice, it makes my teeth itch,” she grumbles. Oliver just shrugs. “Don’t reckon it costs nothin’ to be kind.”

❀ When you’re sad, Oliver doesn’t always have the words. He’s not great at deep speeches or philosophical comforts. But he’ll sit with you in the fields. Bring pie. Let you cry into his shirt. “We don’t gotta talk. Just let the dirt hold us up today.” It always helps.

❀ He plays the piano for you when he thinks you’re asleep. Soft, twinkly notes drifting through the barn at night. Romcom themes. Little lullabies. The sound of his heart playing itself out, one careful note at a time.

❀ He loves wearing dresses around you, especially on sunny days. One time you complimented how cute he looked and he short-circuited, tripped on a cabbage, and said “Y-you think I’m pretty?!” You do. He still blushes about it.

❀ Oliver can lift heavy things like they’re paper bags, thanks to years of farming. You didn’t expect that. Neither did Veena, who once watched him carry you, two crates of turnips, and a confused chicken across the yard and said “I’m scared. He’s too powerful.”

❀ When he says “I love you” for the first time, it’s quiet. Hesitant. Almost like a secret he’s not sure he’s allowed to share. But when you say it back—when you say it like you mean it—Oliver just melts. “I thought maybe I was too plain for somethin’ as beautiful as you,” he admits. “But if you love me back, then I must be bloom-worthy after all.”

I'm thinking about Vander x reader- im thinking about a story where they are maybe childhood friends and then they end up fighting on the bridge together but get separated and no one knows where Reader is so they assume theyre dead only for them to show up a year later.

Imagine Reader showing up at the last drop as its closing and Vander has his back to them and tells them that hes about to close up shop and they just sit down and maybe ask for a super specific thing that they always used to order and he like turns around and realises its them and it goes from there.

I know people are in agony with the new season so I thought I might as well throw some silly little ideas out into the wild. Please tag me if anyone writes this- not because its my idea but because im desperate for more Vander please and thank you.

I. HAVE. AN. IDEA!!!

Okay, for those who are unaware, this idea is HEAVILY based off of The Arcana. (totally not self indulgent about my own oc but everyone is welcome to use it and read it as they please)

So, Imagine...

Y/N, who grew up with the boys. Maybe they met at school, maybe they met because of their parents- hell, maybe they met because they were defending the twins. Either way, they ended up stuck with them and they couldn't be happier about it.

As the years go on, both Stan and Ford find themselves attracted to Y/N but neither one acts on it because they know the other has a crush on them.

Eventually, the incident happened and Y/N walks over to the Pines residence the next day, only to find out that Stan didn't live there anymore and Ford wouldn't talk about it- he wouldn't even come out of his room. Y/N tries to contact the both of them for a while but eventually gives up and moves on with their life.

After weeks of pressure by their parents, they leave for collage- the only one they were able to get into was Backupsmore (gotta be real, I dont even remember if that's the actual name of it or not but I'm so tired that I don't think I could be fucked to look it up rn) and were completely shocked to see Ford there. After some harassment, they finally get him to talk to them and they reconnect- but he won't dare talk about what happened with Stan, only giving them the occasional snippet of information to piece things together.

A few years of hard work later, and the two are moving to Gravity Falls to investigate all the weirdness going on.

All is well, the portal is being built, the three scientists are getting alone swimmingly- just like how they did in collage, and Bill is happy to help.

That is until Y/N and Ford go on a walk- only because they dragged him out of the basement, they were sure that he hadn't seen proper sunlight in weeks. During their little excursion, a monster suddenly appears- Ford is able to avoid being hurt but Y/N ends up taking the blow, he panics and tries to get them back to the cabin but it's too late. They succumb to their severe injuries and all Ford can do is clean them up and tuck them into bed- pretending everything is fine for just one moment. And then he remembers.

He goes to Bill for help, he doesn't listen to what the price is- all he wants is his partner back- both in the lab and in life. Bill happily brings them back... some what.

The moment they wake up, they look around confused before turning their attention to the unkown man beside them. Ford stares, absolutely horrified when he realises that the price for brining them back was their memories- the very things that made them what they are.

He tries, desperately tries to do anything to jog their memory but everytime he gets anywhere near close- they're struck with horrible headaches, to the point of passing out. But he still tries, he lost Fiddleford and Bill had betrayed him- all he had left was them and they were just barley there, he could always see that spark of recognition behind their eyes before it fizzled out- he just had to try harder. But he also knew that he needed to get rid of the journals- so he called for help...

After the... second incident, and trying (and crying) for hours, Stan walks up the stairs to the bedroom only to freeze. Reader lays unconscious in bed, still recovering from trying to uncover their memories. And even though he's confused as hell, he takes care of them until they wake up- maybe they have answers to helping get Ford back...

He is shocked to find out that they didn't remember anything, not their childhood, not their time at collage, not their family and not even him. But that doesn't deter him, after all, they're still here- still fighting and so he would take care of them until they were well enough to take care of themselves. (Though he never stopped looking after them, he just got better at being subtle about it) As long as they were here, they could get through it- together.

I got a major headache rn but I wanted to write this down before i pass out and forget about it.

Enjoy!!! If anyone wants to write this, please tag me because it sounds like such a good idea for ANGST!!!

(I also had a silly little idea that I'll add down here but maybe while Bill was resurrecting Y/N, they hung out in the dream realm or some shit- and maybe he decided that he liked them too idk, I was originally gonna add this into the rest of it but I totally forgot and I'm too lazy to rewrite my work so goodluck!!!)

Gaslight District X Mom!Reader Headcanons

Part Two

(Reader is Butcher Ken’s wife and Mel and Breadhead’s Mama.)

• Being the wife of a mafia boss while being the mother of a human and a yeast golem is pure insanity, but when it comes to the love for your family, there’s nothing you cannot handle.

• You mostly spend your days tending to The Whale Belly Butchershop while Ken and Mud are on their missions with the kids, but it’s not unheard of for you to join them.

• Mel would always be the first person to bounce into your arms after a successful killing mission, rambling about how awesome the trip was and how she helped the gang. She would always love hearing your words of praise after putting up with Ken’s endless bickering for her safety.

“…and then I used the chainsaw! Pretty cool, huh, mom?”

“Oh-ho-ho! I wish I was there to see it, sweetie!”

• You would always quickly tend to Mel whenever she was injured after a mission.

• Like Ken, you were severely worried about your daughter’s safety, considering how you and your husband are the only people who know she’s a human. Though, unlike him, you’re not as overprotective.

• And Mel absolutely loves you for that. She would often use you as leverage for winning arguments with her dad when it comes to her safety.

“Mel, I always told you not to-!”

“Oh, c’mon, Ken! You never let me go outside on my own! Mom always lets me!”

“DON’T BRING YOUR MOTHER INTO THIS!”

• Breadhead is a total mama’s boy and will always look forward to at least spending time with you every single day. The silly bread man just loves your guts. You’ve been nothing but sweet to him since he was a bun in the oven and he’s always willing to return the love.

• Anything his mama says, he’ll do it. Do chores at work, he’ll do it. Bring a souvenir from one of the missions, he’ll do it. Cement the man that insulted your cooking, he’ll do it.

• Just like how Mel wants Ken to be proud of her, Breadhead can’t get enough of you being proud of him.

• There was a time when you joined the Smiling Dead on a mission and Breadhead was bubbling with excitement. He was twice as excited to fight with his mama and often turned to you for praise after brutally mutilating a random Rotling.

“Mama, did you see that? Did you see what I did?”

“Of course, honey bun. Mama’s so proud!”

“Heh heh! Mama’s proud of me!”

• Even though you don’t join missions, you’re just as insane and demented as the rest of the crew. Though you do a better job at hiding it than the others. Ken and Mud find you fun to be around because of this.

• Your kids would be busy ripping apart their latest victim and you would be just watching them, unfazed with a calm yet proud smile, completely splattered in the victims purple blood.

• Ken would always plan date nights with you whenever your schedule was open. Slow dancing in the closed butcher shop with soft music in the background was always his go-to for a romantic night.

• You and Ken were the undead Bonnie and Clyde of the town, but better. You, Ken, and Mud were the only members of the Smiling Gang before Mel and Breadhead were born.

• Mud would often reminisce those days. He would always bring up how he missed those good old times when it was just you three and how much more exciting and crazier the missions were back in the day.

“Ah, Mel. You should’ve seen (Y/N) back then when she was in the crew! She was one crazy bitch!”

“Watch it, Mud! But yes, I quite was…”

• Mud often tends to steal your things just to rile you up. He knows that pissing you off is like playing with fire, but hey, what’s more fun than bickering with his sister-in-law?

• Being the wife of a mafia don always has its perks. Ken never stops spoiling you after making a good amount of scarab from work. Dresses, jewelry, custom-made knives, he always knew what you wanted.

• He happily remembered how you squealed with joy and covered his face with kisses after he gave you a torture rack as a gift on your 4th anniversary together.

• And just like Ken, you know how to spoil him too. Cooking his favorite meals, gifting him a new car and weapons, giving him a divine massage after a long and hard day of work, and always being there for him when he needs a hand.

• Ken feels like the luckiest man on earth whenever you have his back. He always tends to solve his own problems when it comes to crooks that try to mess with his family, but when his wife does it for him? He has hearts in his eyes for you.

• There was a time when a random creepy guy tried to grope Mel in the butcher shop. Before Ken could skin the fool, the creep was already bleeding on the ground, shrieking for mercy from you. But his pleas fell upon deaf ears.

• The other residents of the shop nearly pissed icicles from the smiling death stare you gave to the creep while slowly torturing him. Your calm threats to him didn’t make it better either. While Mel watched you slowly eviscerate the creep in excitement, Ken swooned at the sight of his beautiful wife defending their daughter.

“PLEASE! I’M SORRY! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!”

“…If you ever try to touch my baby girl that way again…I’ll tear out your spine through your dickhole and mulch your shit body into steaming mush…repeatedly and SLOWLY…”

• And yeah. That turns Ken on.

“Uh, dad? Why are you looking at mom like that?”

“Oh, Mel…your mother sure knows how to disturb the peace…in my pants…”

“AUGH! GROSS! TMI, DAD!”

PLEASE HELP ME

ATTENTION VANDER X READER FANFIC WRITERS!!!

I need to have reader save vander. I need reader to save the day what remains of their family- and then them leaving Piltover together on a ship and never coming back, and yes Vi brings her girlfriend along too I dont care

(The ship thing totally doesnt come from my oc being a pirate or anything- pirates are cool as shit let me live)

For once requests are open, could we get a Ken x wife reader??

Pairings -> Ken the Butcher x Wife Reader

Warnings -> None

Note -> Reader and Ken are together in this

Genre -> Fluff, Headcanons

A/N - Guess who burnt my brothers pizzas... this is why I'm not allowed in the kitchen when I'm sick ;(

KEN

Man you never knew how it would come to this, marrying and being a wife to a Mafia butcher rolting who is part of the smiling dead, well the leader of the smiling dead

Raising a family, a golem son that is made out of bread and a daughter.. (Who is human)

Ken has been the most loyal and trustworthy kind of a guy but with anger issues, a switch in the brain that would make him go mad even the sight of blood on you

He is really protective I mean LIKE REALLY protective

Some days Ken would go out on missions while you take care of the buthershop which he knows that you would handle it pretty well without him there and once he comes back, the whole place is clean and spotless and the cashier is filled with Scarabs which impresses him in the most way

But if you are the one to finish a mission, he would most likely take care of the shop with his family and would sometimes worry for you like he worrys for Mel

I mean you're his WIFE

But you usually come with a whole heap of blood on you which is of course not yours and he immediately falls in love with you over again

He's even more prouder of you as you told him that you got the job done and cleaned the crime, he has taught you well

Ken would mostly spoil you like he spoils his children, I mean YOUr children

He would maybe give you some stuff here and there, maybe a few nice hair accessories, some jewelry like rings or braclets and you would wear them every day and every night

You would literally never take it off and Ken loves that for you

I feel like Ken would be a snorer ANd a heavy sleeper, like imagine one night you are trying to go the bathroom and this man has his arm around your waist and he is gonna be heavy, snoring away as you struggle to get him off of you so you would have to push him away and if that doesn't work then maybe give a hit or two that would surely wake him up

I would also feel like Ken would be the type to go for sweet like ladies that would turn aggressive if someone messes with their family

Like Sweet but crazy kind

Overall Ken is just a sweetheart that just has anger issues sometimes meaning that you two argue a lot, time when it happens on missions, maybe that you want to do something but Ken is saying no because it's too "dangerous"

Oh you can show him dangerous

But it would end up him apologizing for being wrong and that you were tougher than he thinks

But you apologize too to him which makes it equal

You just love to be apart of this family

-A<3

AITA for texting my fiancé that "this isn't working"?

Steven Grant x reader.

Tags & warnings. None. Yes, this literally is just a silly little thing that I read on reddit and I thought it was so funny lol. Reader is gender neutral!

Word count. 823.

Moving in with Steven was one of the best decisions you could make in your life, right after saying 'yes' when he proposed.

The only inconvenience came at a precise time between morning and afternoon, sometimes even at night, all depending on the mood of his boss. Waiting for Steven to return from work was such a headache, boring hours and dead time as you tried to find your own job.

The upside was that you now had complete freedom to organize his apartment to your liking, and if anything needed a complete makeover, it was Steven Grant's dark and disorganized home.

You had just made a completely necessary expense, a gigantic mirror that was clearly bigger than your capabilities. Worse yet, considering that if there was something you despised with all your heart, it was the mere idea of reading an instruction manual.

When the mirror arrived, the Amazon delivery guy mocked you to your face for your difficulty in handling the box and getting it into the house.

You: Baby, the new mirror just came in!

You hit send after the message.

You: I’m going to try to put it together but I may need your help later.

And just as you said, you got to work with the phone by your side, waiting for a response from Steven.

You assumed Donna was in a terrible mood because at least two hours went by without a reply, although you were really too busy to worry about that.

For a moment, you insisted on the idea of finishing assembling the darn mirror before Steven arrived home, but that clearly didn't happen because for the two and a half hours of effort you put in, you didn't feel like you were really getting anywhere.

Plus, you had extra screws that shouldn't have been left over.

You: This isn’t working and at this point, I think I need to just give up.

You put the phone aside and lazily lay down on the carpet. Why was assembling furniture so hard? Although not as difficult as having to accept that you couldn't finish it on your own.

You stayed there not knowing how long, but you estimated it was a few hours because you heard the front door indicating that Steven was home. The smile lasted only a short while because as you straightened up to greet him, he walked past you without even looking at you, heading straight to the bedroom.

"Steven?" you questioned, slightly furrowing your brow. You stood up slowly, giving him time to exit the room.

When you finally confronted him, your heart almost jumped out of your chest. His eyes were red, completely filled with tears.

"What happened, baby?"

"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking. It shattered your heart into pieces.

"Why what, Steven?" He sniffled, and you searched his gaze when he started avoiding you.

"Why are you giving up on me?"

You nearly killed him right then and there.

"What are you talking about?"

He didn't take long to pull his phone out of his pocket and shake it a bit in front of your face; he was on the verge of sobbing.

"Y-Your messages, you were breaking up with me."

The moment Steven mentioned your text messages, you had to press your lips together to keep from laughing in his face.

Your expression almost made him cry harder. Were you making fun of him?

"Steven." Your voice came out in a playful tone as you almost burst into laughter. "I was talking about the mirror."

"Huh? What mirror?"

"The new mirror, it arrived." Your eyes were almost watering from holding back laughter. "I'm guessing that the previous messages didn't send; I was talking about not being able to assemble it on my own."

You stepped aside to let him see the mess you had made on the floor, with the mirror halfway assembled.

Steven exchanged glances between the things and you.

He looked at the things.

He looked at you.

He looked at the things.

He looked at you.

Realization hit in seconds, and you couldn't say anything more when you felt Steven's arms squeezing you against his chest. You couldn't stop laughing even though your laughter sounded odd, muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Bloody fucking hell, love!" Steven cursing was definitely a special event. It only made you laugh harder. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

He lifted you off the ground, and tears were already streaming down your face. It took much longer than expected to calm down from the laughter.

Still breathless, you let him kiss your face, as well as embrace you with his strong arms that refused to let you go.

"Still, I need you to check the mirror." You took a deep breath, your cheeks already reddened, one of your hands held onto him, and the other wiped the corners of your eyes. "I think I damaged it."

I SAW KURTIS AND JACOB!!!!

just got home from one of his shows and like dude holy shit. It's so surreal seeing these two guys who have made me laugh and helped me when I was super depressed in person. Like I'm just actually so excited still (the show ended like two hours ago) my back hurts, my ass hurts from the seats, my hands hurt from clapping and my face hurts from smiling- and alos wiping my make-up off but whatever. Jacobs part was so fucking good HDNHDMDBSKSBISNWOWMBEKENS

and here's me and my dad, the photos shaky because my hands were shaking (again, I was and am very excited) and it was dark so it couldn't focus. Our expressions probably don't help LMAO

It was fucking awesome, but now I'm a little bummed that it's over.

No one understands how vindicated I feel right now. For years, i have been inlove with Murro Morton- I was TEASED I was LAUGHED AT and now after the Hullabaloo circus update I open the chat and FINALLY PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO MURRO!!!!!

Now wheres my Murro X Reader fanfics chop chop (pretty please with a cherry on top🥺)

off screen caine activities