Bit Of A Vent Cuz I Can Say Whatever I Want, Cuz I Have Free Will And You Do Too Which Means You Dont

bit of a vent cuz i can say whatever i want, cuz i have free will and you do too which means you dont gotta read it if ya dont wanna. this is cuz i need to voice it, itll be good for me

i got work this weekend and im dreading it, love what i do(i work at the super 8 hotel in my town as housekeeping) dont get me wrong and im only a few weeks in and i only work every other weekend so i need to give myself a break but its tiring. my feet hurt and are numb by the time im done(work hours are 9am to whenever you finish all youre rooms), im not fast enough either. i only ever have 11-12 room and i always have like 7-8 left after lunch at 12-12:25, the other people there help me when they all finish and its embarrassing. like ik theyve all been there longer than me and are better but is just...i dunno it just overwhelms me that im not fast enough. i do everything else perfectly and the head house keeper says that all the time shes always telling me how good im doing and how proud she is and is just makes me feel worse about the fact that im not fast enough. i do my best to be as quick as possible, i drink a monster every time and i dont take bathroom breaks until lunch, im even thinking of straight up skipping lunch all together just so i get done in time. i cant quit cuz my sibling just did(wasnt for them) and i dont want them to think that thats why. its also the only way i can pay for stuff on my own, i have to be financially independent cuz i aint very trustin of my mom. i just....i dunno what to do cuz last time i left i cried cuz i was just so overwhelmed. but thats all, i love it and im good at it so i duuno whats wrong with me. i just think my like autism or smth is "flaring up" cuz its a new thing and its really changed my schedule, but other than that i dunno whats up with me