*sniffling Into My Sleeve And Wiping Tears From My Eyes* STOP ILYSM YOU ARE SO SWEET AND TALENTED AS

ILY ILY

Hannibal being excited to experience a gas station hot dog with Will would be so cute??!! like omg imagine the excited little thrill pulsing through Hannibal's veins 😭🩵 and Will is shocked when Hannibal eats without a single complaint. imagine if Hannibal wanted the exact same toppings as Will too. i'm wailing

also omg what about injured Hannibal (delirious on pain meds because he's come down with an infection) when they're driving in search of their safe house and there's only a gas station nearby. Will buys two hot dogs, eats one in a hurry and brings the other one out to the hearse (which would be perfect for allowing Hannibal to rest and not be seen lmao). imagine Will sliding in the back where Hannibal is resting. He wakes Hannibal and breaks the hot dog into small pieces. He expects Hannibal to grimace or refuse to eat or complain. Then, Will remembers Hannibal is mute and hasn't spoken a word in weeks. He slowly feeds Hannibal bite by bite. Will asks "Is that gonna be enough for you, darlin'?" and Hannibal's half-lidded eyes widen because Will's never used a pet name before. Hannibal nods, cheeks flushing and straining with a mouthful of food. Imagine Will's heart absolutely melting as he watches Hannibal eat little bites of a hot dog. 😭

***btw sorry for this ramble. I'm pmsing and the thought of Will watching Hannibal eat little bites of food is so cute at the moment it's about to make me weep lol.***

Will kisses Hannibal's forehead in silent praise and relief. He makes a move to leave to toss out the trash. But Hannibal's fingers curl into the sleeve of his sweater. He sees a crease of apprehension between Hannibal's brows and smooths it over with a thumb, gentle pressure, and kisses right over it. He knows Hannibal's anxiety spikes at night. That Hannibal is afraid of waking without Will. That Hannibal is afraid of Will being taken. That Hannibal is afraid of Will choosing to leave. Even now. He crumples the trash into the corner of the trunk and settles in next to Hannibal. He coaxes Hannibal closer, until Hannibal's cheek is resting flush against Will's neck. His fingers stroke through Hannibal's greasy hair, slow and gentle. He knows it's not what Hannibal is surrounded with which matters. He knows it's who Hannibal is surrounded by which matters.

sorry my brain just vomited that up and i couldn't stop typing because vulnerable Hannibal always has me in a chokehold. even when it's the prospect of Hannibal eating a hotdog

"hannibal HATES wills plaids" "hannibal would never let will wear plaid after the fall" hannibal gently dressed will in his softest plaid shirt and tucked him into bed before turning himself in to the fbi when will awoke and rejected him. i dont think he gives a fuck to be honest

this vulnerable Hannibal ramble has a happy ending. i promise. ♡ this post is only meant for people ages 18+ because it does tread into nsfw territory.

don't think about Hannibal noticing cancer symptoms a few months post-fall. specifically, bladder cancer. don't think about Hannibal hiding this from Will because they're on the run after nearly being caught. don't think about Hannibal getting shot in his pelvis during their escape and collapsing to the ground. don't think about Will carrying Hannibal (who whimpers against Will's neck with each abrupt jostle of his body) to safety towards a getaway car. desperately trying to stop the bleeding. finding a small emergency clinic and holding the doctor at gunpoint until Hannibal's wound is tended to.

don't think about Will discovering the news of Hannibal's stage 3 bladder cancer because the doctor states there's no point in saving Hannibal, who only has a few months to live at most. don't think about Will's entire world crumbling in that instance. seeing Hannibal's limp body on the operating table. thinking back to all the times Hannibal winced upon sitting with a full belly after dinner (because it put more pressure on his bladder) and how he would discreetly leave to change into a more comfortable pair of pants or shift in discomfort. don't think about Will passing it off as simple weight gain. then thinking back to the moments when Hannibal would spend long periods of time in the bathroom (scrubbing down the bathroom to limit Will's chance of finding traces of blood in the toilet. or simply straining to urinate).

don't think about Will confronting Hannibal once he's conscious. don't think about Hannibal's face crumpling because he's scared this'll be Will's motivation to leave; to go back to his old life now that Hannibal's is coming to an end. don't think about Hannibal spending these last few months knowing something was wrong; having an inkling there was probably a tumor growing around the area of his groin. yet having no means to get a diagnosis. not without the risk of being caught. not without the risk of losing Will. don't think about Hannibal begging Will to leave; to do the complete opposite of what he truly wants during his last few months of living. because Hannibal doesn't want Will to witness his rapid decline.

don't think about Hannibal and Will crying in each other's arms. don't think about them both having to accept their fate. don't think about Hannibal still attempting to be intimate with Will even as the act of orgasming results in agony instead of pleasure; how it feels like the muscles in his bladder are about to rupture the very last time he's intimate with Will. how he cries out of fear of disappointing Will any further. because he wants it too (this emotional and physical connection) and is disappointed in himself. and he wants to feel a sense of normalcy that he'll never have again. don't think about Will reassuring Hannibal with tender kisses and gentle words. stating sex isn't necessary. not if it only serves to bring Hannibal more and more pain.

don't think about Hannibal being in the bathroom one night and Will waking to an empty bed. finding Hannibal sitting on the toilet instead of standing. exhausted and on the verge of tears (because he needs to relieve the pressure in his bladder and urinate, but the tumor has doubled in size and is causing a blockage). don't think about Hannibal finally breaking down upon seeing Will because the discomfort is rising and his bladder feels as if it's about to explode. don't think about Will rushing to lay Hannibal on the floor and inserting a catheter. whispering frantic apologies and words of reassurance when Hannibal sobs and whimpers from the pain. hugging Hannibal once it's inserted and the pressure eventually abates. rubbing Hannibal's distended abdomen and bladder in soothing circles. don't think about Hannibal having to wear a catheter 24/7 during his last month of life.

don't think about Hannibal waking Will up in the middle of the night. because he knows he doesn't have much time left. don't think about Will awakening to an unfamiliar shift in Hannibal's tone: frail and tinged with fear and desperation for Will. don't think about Will holding Hannibal until the very end. don't think about Will falling asleep with Hannibal's limp body cradled to his chest. don't think about Will living alone for months on end. don't think about Will one day falling asleep in their large bed and somehow time traveling in the past; ending up at the cliff house with this past version of Hannibal (who's just entered the house with Will frozen in place in the driveway because all he can see is the back of Hannibal's head).

don't think about Will's voice breaking when he chokes out a whisper of Hannibal's name. don't think about Hannibal stopping mid-step because hearing his name fall from Will's mouth still feels foreign and it's all he's ever wanted. don't think about all the emotions warring inside Will's mind. don't think about Will striding across the room, hands shaking as he pulls Hannibal into a fierce embrace. don't think about Will whispering the words: "i've missed you so damn much." or even: "hi, baby." because he's overcome with emotion at having a second chance.

(i'll admit that i did in fact type this all out while listening to 'I Bet On Losing Dogs' by Mitski lol. it is perfect inspiration though. because you guys... imagine Will blinking past tears and thinking "i've got my baby back" and being so happy to reunite with Hannibal).

don't think about Will kissing Hannibal with a frenzied desperation and picking Hannibal up to take him to bed. don't think about Hannibal gasping into Will's mouth and feeling nervous and excited all at once. because this is all he's wanted for the last three years. don't think about Will realizing he shouldn't rush this (no matter how overwhelming it feels to be blessed with a second chance) because this is technically Hannibal's first time (even though Will is now familiar with every inch of Hannibal's body and knows what makes him gasp and writhe and tremble with pleasure).

don't think about Will noticing the familiar pinched expression twisting Hannibal's features with visible worry and nervousness. the same expression Will witnessed months ago during their last intimate night together; when Hannibal worried he'd disappointed Will; when Hannibal's agony drowned out every trace of pleasure that Will was desperate to wring out from his weak and easily fatigued body; when it became apparent Hannibal had endured this discomfort for Will's satisfaction. don't think about Will realizing this time that Hannibal's discomfort and apprehension is due to being touch-starved and that he's nervous about climaxing too soon. that it'll disappoint Will.

Will feels the complete opposite of disappointment and wants to witness Hannibal succumb to every pleasurable sensation. even if it ends sooner than Hannibal wants.

imagine Will eating Hannibal out with sheer tenderness. relentless and fluid arcs of his swirling tongue and drawn out suckles. imagine Will's hand reaching between Hannibal's spread legs and wrapping around his throbbing cock. imagine Hannibal's flushed face buried in the bed sheets, fingers clawing at the comforter for stability because he never expected his first time with Will to be like this. imagine Hannibal on the verge of sobbing because it's too much; too foreign of a sensation; being touched and coaxed towards a rapidly approaching climax by a skilled mouth and a steady hand. being worshipped by Will after enduring years of forced celibacy.

imagine Will clutching one of Hannibal's trembling hands and reminding Hannibal it's okay to come; that he doesn't have to wait any longer; that he deserves this. imagine Will's thumb smoothing over Hannibal's twitching knuckles. Will's tongue diving back in between Hannibal's red and chafed cheeks. Hannibal's movements and whimpers bordering on frantic as he thrusts into the calloused cage of Will's fist until he's ultimately overcome by a breath-stealing climax.

imagine Will cherishing this moment with his entire heart. knowing he was once again able to bring Hannibal over the threshold of desperation and into the pleasure of release without any trace of pain. something he hasn't been able to do in a very long time.

imagine Will kissing every inch of Hannibal's sweaty skin. leading Hannibal (who's legs are shaking, rendering him off balance) into the shower. washing Hannibal's hair and body with gentle touches. kissing away Hannibal's silent tears of overwhelm. washing Hannibal's back. kissing Hannibal's nape and the Verger brand. wrapping his arms around Hannibal's waist. hands trailing over the thick hair curling over Hannibal's groin; right around the area of Hannibal's bladder; searching for any signs of discomfort. feeling his heart skip a beat when Hannibal's breath hitches; out of overwhelm or pain, he can't be sure and doesn't dare to ask. not wanting to break the peace of this moment. not wanting to alarm Hannibal (who finally seems to have everything he's ever wanted). it's a long-awaited moment Will can't bear to ruin for Hannibal. not right now.

it prompts Will to make a spur of the moment decision that they should leave as soon as possible; flee to another country where Hannibal can get screened for signs of bladder cancer or any other anomalies. when Hannibal eventually questions Will's motives for a finding nearby doctor, he makes an excuse that it's a simple precaution; that it's because Hannibal hasn't been to a doctor in three years. imagine if in this universe, Hannibal's bladder cancer is caught and treated early. imagine if in this universe, Will and Hannibal get their happily ever after. something Will never takes for granted. even during arguments or disagreements.

You’re so right. I need to see them puking, gagging, delirious from fever, whimpering in agony, and cradling each other in their arms. Murmuring reassurance into each other’s ears until sleep overtakes them. That’s my bread and butter.

You're all wrong, post-fall injured Hannigram IS romantic, it's just romantic in a "awwww he held your hair back while you threw up in a grimy gas station toilet from food poisoning? That's so cuteee" kinda way

lord keep and protect me from ever becoming a fandom mean girl

Here it is! Hannibal regressing at the cliff house occurs in chapter 3 (there are content warnings in the author's note of that chapter).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58286659/chapters/148434385

How do we feel about Hannibal regressing at the cliff house because he's so overwhelmed with being in Will's presence once again?

Because I'm already 6k words deep into writing a fic about it 😭 I've never taken this long to write a fic before (started in late January), but I think I might be cooking something up

Vulnerable Hannibal in any form is my bread and butter. But traumatized Hannibal is my precious little pumpkin and I can never cease to ramble and theorize about how that would impact Will and Hannibal's relationship. I think it would be monumental if Hannibal wasn't even able to make it to the gates of the Lecter estate at all during a post-fall visit to Lithuania.

Imagine all the trauma that the simple act of walking through those woods would unearth for Hannibal. How it would revive his fear of succumbing to the elements.

My headcanon is Hannibal was in fact traumatized by everything he went through as a child. He just lives in denial and repression until it's brought to the forefront of his mind while in a situation he can't escape. I know it might seem ooc to many people, but Hannibal losing composure is my fave thing ever; epecially when it's in relation to his childhood trauma.

Will takes Hannibal to Lithuania. Before the next step of their relationship can develop any further, Will wants to learn every part of Hannibal. Both past and present. He's aware of Hannibal's persisting reluctance on the matter. He's aware Hannibal is doing this for him; but also for himself.

Hannibal's words have dwindled into monosyllabic responses the moment they stepped foot in Lithuania. It's late spring; so the weather shouldn't be a problem. He knows. It's only the slightest bit chilly; a bite laced in the wind that seeps into his bones and leaves his mouth and throat dry; parched with apprehension. He's one step behind Will. Two Steps. Three steps. Four...

Will's heart plummets the moment he turns around to glance at Hannibal. He's been periodically checking in throughout their journey toward the estate. Not rushing Hannibal along is imperative.

This isn't at all how Will envisioned it would turn out: Hannibal frozen in place, both eyes clenched shut against an onslaught of unspeakable memories, arms wrapped around his own torso in the form of a subconscious, self-soothing hug, while one hand creeps higher and higher towards his throat. He's sucking in shallow, whistling breaths and clawing at his neck with trembling fingers; skin itching and tingling from the phantom sensation of a chain-link collar he remembers all too well.

Will calls out his name, soft and cautious, because Hannibal is somewhere else entirely. Lost inside his mind. Will's hand clutches and stills Hannibal's frantic moving fingertips; the pressure gentle yet insistent. "Stop that," is what Will intends to say, but Hannibal's reaction leaves him speechless.

Hannibal flinches, releasing a frail, tearful whimper (the closest sound to a sob Will's ever heard Hannibal utter), and soon enough there's a visible wet patch staining the front of his pants. Will pulls Hannibal into an embrace, uncaring of the putrid stench of urine.

Imagine poor Will being blindsided by it all. Especially the act of Hannibal soiling himself in response to his re-emerging PTSD. Imagine if Hannibal clung to Will with the desperation of a scared child, head tucked underneath Will's chin so he wouldn't have to catch a glimpse of the woods that have haunted his dreams since he was eight years old. Imagine if he could only muster a rasped whisper of one word ("home" in his native tongue), begging for Will to take him far away from here.

Imagine if this moment was the first time Will ever used a term of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, or baby) in reference to Hannibal + the first time Will pressed a grounding kiss into Hannibal's hair + the first time Hannibal experienced any semblance of Will's affection post-fall.

Oh my God can I first off just say how much I LOVE your writing, I’m so happy to have found someone else who likes to write and read about vulnerable Hannibal. I look forward to your fics so much, seriously they make my entire week (even if they make me really sad, I usually hope for some sort of a happy ending with your fics even with all the work it takes them to get there. Love vulnerable Hannibal, but also love even more seeing him get the care and love he deserves!!)

Anyways, I can’t stop thinking about Hannibal keeping himself covered up around Will post-fall, and Will doesn’t understand why until he one day walks in on Hannibal changing, and seeing he’s become so skinny from his time in the BSHCI. It makes Hannibal feel dysmorphic because it reminds him of when he starved as a child. Will misses when Hannibal had some softness on his stomach, and promises (either out loud or just to himself) that Hannibal will never want for anything when it comes to food.

oh my god!!! ILY WHOEVER YOU ARE!! first,

*wipes tears from my eyes*

omg thank you so much for your kind words!! you are so sweet and i am so glad you enjoy my fics, that is the sweetest compliment ever. <3 also omg if you write fics as well, i'd love to read yours, too!!

second, the prompt??

I AM AAAHHHHHCKTUALLY SCREAMING THIS IS EVERYTHING!! God, the thought of Hannibal feeling dysmorphic after becoming skinny in the BSHCI is making me weep and I haven't even written it yet. 😭 Then Will realizing Hannibal is feeling dysmorphic because of it?? I wail. I weep. You are on some genius-level-thinking for coming up with that prompt.

The only question I have is: do you want the reason for Hannibal's weight loss to be because he grew disinterested in eating because of depression or because he was deprived of food? 👀

I love my blorbo so much I need him covered in blood and beaten within an inch of his life

I really wanna know what happened in Mizumono moments after Hannibal smelt Freddie’s perfume on Will. How did he end the visit? How did Will not notice a shift in the atmosphere with his empathy? Like come on, Willy boy—put that over-empathetic brain to work. 😩

And the dinner scene when Hannibal suggests they run away together, feed Will’s dogs, and leave a note for Alana—but Will doesn’t want to. I bet Hannibal was fighting back a sniffle and a tearful hiccup with each bite. You know that sore, sandpaper sensation in your throat when you’re about to burst into tears, but holding it back?

Imagine if while Hannibal was eating, he choked because his throat felt so raw and Will had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him—and it only worsened his emotional state because Will has been playing him and just witnessed him gasping for his life over a small chunk of lamb. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but Will believes it’s only a simple case of watery eyes. Then an ugly, voice-cracking sob bursts from Hannibal’s chest because Will is being so gentle with him—rubbing his back and asking if he’s all right (since he’s never nothing but elegance and grace 24/7)—and for the first time in decades his voice abandons him.

He hasn’t felt this off-kilter or this unlovable since he was in the orphanage—mute and alone—just waiting for someone to truly see him.

Will’s seen him—but he knows Will doesn’t want him as he is—who he’s always been. It’s a crushing blow. One he never thought he would have to experience because he never imagined meeting someone like Will.

@incidentsofunknownorigins oh my god imagine the Hannibal whump possibilities. usually my headcanons or rambles take place post-fall. but imagine Hannibal near the end of season 2 being drugged and Will steps up to care for him as he relives flashbacks of his childhood trauma and abuse at the orphanage. Will in his honeytrap era witnessing Hannibal's involuntary vulnerability 😏 maybe if i ever get back into writing, i'll try and write that one day. tysm for sharing this with me. i love it <3

*clears throat* *taps mic*

✨ Emotional vivisection ✨

May I present a new torture concept? A forcing open of what a person is not ready to expose, perhaps even via telepathy or truth serums. Forcing them to feel everything, and exposing it for others to see. Old memories, buried feelings, repressed desires, etc. Until the entire mind is laid bare - and perhaps changed irrevocably. Can be a form of torture/humiliation, or done by a well-intentioned but bad caretaker, or a therapist experimenting irresponsibly. Maybe it's even genuinely necessary - either for medical reasons or to reach a repressed memory that has crucial information. But it doesn't matter. It's a devastatingly vulnerable process either way.