Imagine Hannibal Losing Control Of His Bowels And Trembling And Whimpering Through The Agony While Clinging

the way Hannibal is avoiding Will's gaze when saying "for both of us" ???

somebody sedate me or else i'll wail my booty off about it for the rest of my life 😭 babygirl was so shy and uncertain in that moment. Hannibal went through life with the knowledge everyone around him viewed his violence as something ugly and unsettling (Lady Murasaki, Bedelia, Alana, Jack) until meeting Will. imagine a baby-faced Hannibal being rejected by his aunt when she says there is nothing left in him to love (can't remember the exact quote right now). imagine Hannibal pondering over those unforgettable words in regard to his relationship with Will during the last three years in the BSHCI, especially when Will became angry at him for sending Dolarhyde after Molly. imagine Hannibal still being uncertain at the cliff house: wondering if Will would let Dolarhyde kill him or if Will would kill him even after this moment, standing on the edge of the cliff, until Will responds with "it's beautiful"

imagine how life-changing it was for Hannibal to hear those words from Will.

words Hannibal's 20 year-old self probably never allowed himself to ever dream of hearing.

Romance peaked that day

One of my weird headcanons that I feel like sharing:

Hannibal has a stuffed animal of Mischa’s that he purchased or made himself for her, and that she cherished very much. He somehow managed to keep it through the chaos following her death and his time in the orphanage, maybe by hiding it somewhere and retrieving it later. He keeps it with him all his life, the only thing of hers not buried in a grave. He can’t bear to look at it too often, but if he goes too long without seeing it he gets paranoid that it’s gone, disappeared like everything else that ever mattered to him.

Mulling on. I do think people tend to characterize hannibal as low emotion but I’d argue it’s actually the polar opposite, I think he’s an extremely emotionally driven high sensitivity character. It’s just. Not always the emotional responses that are socially acceptable. I think he is also extremely good at repression, compartmentalization, and forms of disassociation that are the learned skills of someone with the emotional skin of a third degree burn victim.

That being said, I think one area of emotion he is almost completely numb that helps him operate the way he does, is he has almost no fear. In his own ways he does have empathy, regret, guilt, etc although not nearly as often as he should, but the part of his brain/emotions that feels fear is often completely non existent.

I think that’s very much an effect of extreme trauma. The worst happens, what is there left to fear? You’ve already seen hell and survived. You’re living on borrowed time and have defied death and god, you might as well do whatever you want. What could you possibly fear after that.

This makes an interesting contrast to will, who is introduced to us as being almost entirely fear. It is his number one driving force. It’s hard to narrow down the things Hannibal saw in him right away, but I do think that it’s interesting that a man who has conquered his fear through suffering and feels he is better for it meets a man who is driven by and in shackles of fear, and wonders if he is put through the worst so there is nothing left to fear, what beautiful thing will be there when the shackles are gone?

Imagine if Hannibal had to fight back tears in the aftermath of this moment because he’d never experienced a betrayal quite like this—because he hadn’t gotten this close to anyone since he was a child—and he had finally let Will see a part of himself he’d never imagined he could share with anyone. He believed he’d been accepted up until now. My headcanon is he was punished for not being able to speak at the orphanage: beaten when he would be forced to try and speak; but no words would come out; only a weak rasp. Imagine if he struggled to continue the conversation with Will because a lump was forming in his throat and it felt too much like the strain of trying to speak as a mute child.

So he panicked and all he could do was whimper as Will—

vulnerable Hannibal fanfic idea rambles:

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will on a getaway boat. One day, Will coaxes Hannibal up deck to sunbathe because he's been deprived of the natural outside air and the sun's rays for so long. Hannibal curls up on the sofa and rests his head in Will's lap. He hasn't felt the touch of another in years and gasps when Will's fingers begin stroking through his hair. He doesn't know what to do in wake of the sudden onslaught of affection. Will's fingers trace over his temple, his clenched eyelids to wipe away the moisture, his dampening cheek. He doesn't anticipate the next moment: Will leaning down to kiss away a stray tear on his temple and whispering reassurance in his ear.

Hannibal being self-conscious when he first starts speaking again after becoming mute for a few weeks/months because his accent is thicker.

Hannibal getting an infection post-fall because his immune system is weak from being isolated for so long. When he has a fever and Will puts him into a cold bath to bring it down, he panics and Will has to reassure him and hold him down the entire time.

Hannibal's food issues resurfacing when he gets an infection and can't keep food down for nearly a week.

Hannibal and Will at a party (sometime post-fall when they're recovered) because Will's coworker invited them and Will agrees because it'll help them blend in. there's a little girl who made homemade ice cream and asks them to try it. Hannibal refuses because the temperature and texture of ice cream is too similar to snow. imagine if it's already angsty because they're in a small argument and Will says something like "open your mouth and eat the damn ice cream" (because the girl is watching to see if they like it) and Will shoves a spoonful of it into Hannibal's mouth. triggering Hannibal's cryophobia.

Hannibal being overwhelmed when Will asks if he wants a second helping of food for the first time when they're finally recovered from the fall. He's only ever been given three helpings of food and an occasional snack throughout the last 3 years. (turning into a bit of a ramble) but imagine if Hannibal is struck with a sudden familiar urge that he hasn't felt since living at his uncle's home: the urge to eat as much as he can now that there is unlimited access. Hannibal waits too long to answer and Will takes his silence as confirmation that he doesn't want seconds. He does. But it feels too late to answer; a missed opportunity. Cue Will's empathy kicking in and he's hit with every emotion Hannibal is feeling and sits back down at the table (right next to Hannibal instead of across the table) with a second serving, coaxing Hannibal to eat; that it's okay to still be hungry.

Hannibal forgetting certain English words when he's exhausted (or because of brain damage) post-fall. Will asks what he wants for breakfast and Hannibal mumbles "blynas" or "le crêpe" instead of pancake.

Hannibal being nervous to say "i love you" for the first time to Will because it's unpracticed; something he's not yet said in the English language.

Hannibal freezing up when Will asks what's the last thing he ever said in his native language.

Hannibal's gunshot wound becomes infected sometime post-fall. He regresses (involuntarily) because it's too much stress for his body to handle at the moment. It comes time for Will to lance the boil and normally, Hannibal's pain tolerance is very high (most things don't phase him), but right now, he's restless: writhing and sobbing as Will proceeds to drain the puss from the infected area.

Will gets a job post-fall to maintain appearances. He comes home one afternoon to an empty house until he reaches the backyard and finds Hannibal curled up on the outdoor sofa, napping beneath the sun.

this next one is a very old idea (from 2023) that i never explored: Hannibal and Will are at a restaurant for a dinner with a coworker, etc to blend in. Someone is a relative of one of the men who killed Hannibal's family. Hannibal makes the connection and doesn't want to cause a scene, but speaking becomes impossible. His speech starts to slur and he stumbles over every other word. He excuses himself and retreats into the bathroom and throws up. Will finds Hannibal hunched over the toilet and all Hannibal can do is cling to Will, begging to be taken home.

another old idea (i don't think i'll ever write it myself, but i would love to read it if anyone ever wrote it): Hannibal and Will are staying with Lady Murasaki while they recover. One night, Will asks Lady Murasaki what Hannibal was like when he came to live with her and his Uncle Robertos. Will learns of Hannibal's muteness, nightmares, issues with wetting the bed during night terrors, and his issues with food: how he was very malnourished and hesitant to eat in front of other people, how he would either gaurd his plate and eat as fast as he could or refuse to eat at all depending on the meal, how he panicked the first time they tried to serve him a bowl of soup, how he would sometimes raid the pantry or the fridge in the middle of the night when he thought everyone was asleep, how they would find food hidden in his room for safekeeping, how he cried the first time they gave him a birthday cake (because he hadn't experienced that in so long), how he refused to eat most cold foods (like ice cream, etc). Will also learns of Hannibal's progression from muteness leading to the ability to speak again. How Lady Murasaki and his Uncle Robertos noticed Hannibal was self-conscious during that first year (because vocal fatigue would often set in, making it even harder to pronounce words without it being hindered by his accent, while learning a new language. Especially because other children would tease Hannibal for having such a thick accent which he eventually trained himself to tone down). Cue Will's heart breaking because he wonders if Hannibal still does it: tones down his accent out of worry people would struggle to understand what he said. Then Will goes back upstairs, where Hannibal is asleep and writhing in bed because of a nightmare. He recognizes the stench of urine and wakes Hannibal (who's in distress), providing comfort and helping Hannibal get cleaned up and changed into a new set of pajamas. Will comforts Hannibal (knowing he's ashamed for wetting the bed) and calls him "sweetheart" for the first time.

Hannibal having lupophobia (fear of wolves) ever since he was a child and watched a pack of wolves eat the bodies of his tutor and parents and scratch at the cabin windows and door to get in. Also, imagine young Hannibal being chased by a rabid wolf when he finally escaped the cabin. He and Will are living in Canada post-fall and one day, they're either walking around town or in their backyard when a wolf appears, leading to Hannibal's distress.

Hannibal getting sick sometime after episode 2x10. Will finds Hannibal asleep on the chaise lounge in his office (or in the middle of retching in the bathroom). Vomiting always reminds Hannibal of the time he puked after realizing he'd eaten his sister or the time he'd eaten so fast (because of past starvation) that he ended up vomiting. Hannibal regresses (involuntarily) and Will decides he can't be left alone. They make it to Will's house and he cares for Hannibal the entire night. During dinner, Hannibal's food issues resurface (reluctance to eat something unknown) and in a regressed state, he mistakenly believes Will is taking the bowl of food away (though Will is only grasping it to hand feed Hannibal).

on the topic of my season 3 fic where Hannibal's tortured via laxatives and starved after his toilet is removed in the BSHCI, i was scrolling through tiktok one day in 2023 and saw it recommended by someone and let me tell you, my jaw dropped?!! (/positive). then when i opened the comment section, someone who hadn't read it yet said: "toilet??" and i thought that was so fucking funny because it really put into perspective how crazy that summary was 😭

this vulnerable Hannibal ramble has a happy ending. i promise. ♡ this post is only meant for people ages 18+ because it does tread into nsfw territory.

don't think about Hannibal noticing cancer symptoms a few months post-fall. specifically, bladder cancer. don't think about Hannibal hiding this from Will because they're on the run after nearly being caught. don't think about Hannibal getting shot in his pelvis during their escape and collapsing to the ground. don't think about Will carrying Hannibal (who whimpers against Will's neck with each abrupt jostle of his body) to safety towards a getaway car. desperately trying to stop the bleeding. finding a small emergency clinic and holding the doctor at gunpoint until Hannibal's wound is tended to.

don't think about Will discovering the news of Hannibal's stage 3 bladder cancer because the doctor states there's no point in saving Hannibal, who only has a few months to live at most. don't think about Will's entire world crumbling in that instance. seeing Hannibal's limp body on the operating table. thinking back to all the times Hannibal winced upon sitting with a full belly after dinner (because it put more pressure on his bladder) and how he would discreetly leave to change into a more comfortable pair of pants or shift in discomfort. don't think about Will passing it off as simple weight gain. then thinking back to the moments when Hannibal would spend long periods of time in the bathroom (scrubbing down the bathroom to limit Will's chance of finding traces of blood in the toilet. or simply straining to urinate).

don't think about Will confronting Hannibal once he's conscious. don't think about Hannibal's face crumpling because he's scared this'll be Will's motivation to leave; to go back to his old life now that Hannibal's is coming to an end. don't think about Hannibal spending these last few months knowing something was wrong; having an inkling there was probably a tumor growing around the area of his groin. yet having no means to get a diagnosis. not without the risk of being caught. not without the risk of losing Will. don't think about Hannibal begging Will to leave; to do the complete opposite of what he truly wants during his last few months of living. because Hannibal doesn't want Will to witness his rapid decline.

don't think about Hannibal and Will crying in each other's arms. don't think about them both having to accept their fate. don't think about Hannibal still attempting to be intimate with Will even as the act of orgasming results in agony instead of pleasure; how it feels like the muscles in his bladder are about to rupture the very last time he's intimate with Will. how he cries out of fear of disappointing Will any further. because he wants it too (this emotional and physical connection) and is disappointed in himself. and he wants to feel a sense of normalcy that he'll never have again. don't think about Will reassuring Hannibal with tender kisses and gentle words. stating sex isn't necessary. not if it only serves to bring Hannibal more and more pain.

don't think about Hannibal being in the bathroom one night and Will waking to an empty bed. finding Hannibal sitting on the toilet instead of standing. exhausted and on the verge of tears (because he needs to relieve the pressure in his bladder and urinate, but the tumor has doubled in size and is causing a blockage). don't think about Hannibal finally breaking down upon seeing Will because the discomfort is rising and his bladder feels as if it's about to explode. don't think about Will rushing to lay Hannibal on the floor and inserting a catheter. whispering frantic apologies and words of reassurance when Hannibal sobs and whimpers from the pain. hugging Hannibal once it's inserted and the pressure eventually abates. rubbing Hannibal's distended abdomen and bladder in soothing circles. don't think about Hannibal having to wear a catheter 24/7 during his last month of life.

don't think about Hannibal waking Will up in the middle of the night. because he knows he doesn't have much time left. don't think about Will awakening to an unfamiliar shift in Hannibal's tone: frail and tinged with fear and desperation for Will. don't think about Will holding Hannibal until the very end. don't think about Will falling asleep with Hannibal's limp body cradled to his chest. don't think about Will living alone for months on end. don't think about Will one day falling asleep in their large bed and somehow time traveling in the past; ending up at the cliff house with this past version of Hannibal (who's just entered the house with Will frozen in place in the driveway because all he can see is the back of Hannibal's head).

don't think about Will's voice breaking when he chokes out a whisper of Hannibal's name. don't think about Hannibal stopping mid-step because hearing his name fall from Will's mouth still feels foreign and it's all he's ever wanted. don't think about all the emotions warring inside Will's mind. don't think about Will striding across the room, hands shaking as he pulls Hannibal into a fierce embrace. don't think about Will whispering the words: "i've missed you so damn much." or even: "hi, baby." because he's overcome with emotion at having a second chance.

(i'll admit that i did in fact type this all out while listening to 'I Bet On Losing Dogs' by Mitski lol. it is perfect inspiration though. because you guys... imagine Will blinking past tears and thinking "i've got my baby back" and being so happy to reunite with Hannibal).

don't think about Will kissing Hannibal with a frenzied desperation and picking Hannibal up to take him to bed. don't think about Hannibal gasping into Will's mouth and feeling nervous and excited all at once. because this is all he's wanted for the last three years. don't think about Will realizing he shouldn't rush this (no matter how overwhelming it feels to be blessed with a second chance) because this is technically Hannibal's first time (even though Will is now familiar with every inch of Hannibal's body and knows what makes him gasp and writhe and tremble with pleasure).

don't think about Will noticing the familiar pinched expression twisting Hannibal's features with visible worry and nervousness. the same expression Will witnessed months ago during their last intimate night together; when Hannibal worried he'd disappointed Will; when Hannibal's agony drowned out every trace of pleasure that Will was desperate to wring out from his weak and easily fatigued body; when it became apparent Hannibal had endured this discomfort for Will's satisfaction. don't think about Will realizing this time that Hannibal's discomfort and apprehension is due to being touch-starved and that he's nervous about climaxing too soon. that it'll disappoint Will.

Will feels the complete opposite of disappointment and wants to witness Hannibal succumb to every pleasurable sensation. even if it ends sooner than Hannibal wants.

imagine Will eating Hannibal out with sheer tenderness. relentless and fluid arcs of his swirling tongue and drawn out suckles. imagine Will's hand reaching between Hannibal's spread legs and wrapping around his throbbing cock. imagine Hannibal's flushed face buried in the bed sheets, fingers clawing at the comforter for stability because he never expected his first time with Will to be like this. imagine Hannibal on the verge of sobbing because it's too much; too foreign of a sensation; being touched and coaxed towards a rapidly approaching climax by a skilled mouth and a steady hand. being worshipped by Will after enduring years of forced celibacy.

imagine Will clutching one of Hannibal's trembling hands and reminding Hannibal it's okay to come; that he doesn't have to wait any longer; that he deserves this. imagine Will's thumb smoothing over Hannibal's twitching knuckles. Will's tongue diving back in between Hannibal's red and chafed cheeks. Hannibal's movements and whimpers bordering on frantic as he thrusts into the calloused cage of Will's fist until he's ultimately overcome by a breath-stealing climax.

imagine Will cherishing this moment with his entire heart. knowing he was once again able to bring Hannibal over the threshold of desperation and into the pleasure of release without any trace of pain. something he hasn't been able to do in a very long time.

imagine Will kissing every inch of Hannibal's sweaty skin. leading Hannibal (who's legs are shaking, rendering him off balance) into the shower. washing Hannibal's hair and body with gentle touches. kissing away Hannibal's silent tears of overwhelm. washing Hannibal's back. kissing Hannibal's nape and the Verger brand. wrapping his arms around Hannibal's waist. hands trailing over the thick hair curling over Hannibal's groin; right around the area of Hannibal's bladder; searching for any signs of discomfort. feeling his heart skip a beat when Hannibal's breath hitches; out of overwhelm or pain, he can't be sure and doesn't dare to ask. not wanting to break the peace of this moment. not wanting to alarm Hannibal (who finally seems to have everything he's ever wanted). it's a long-awaited moment Will can't bear to ruin for Hannibal. not right now.

it prompts Will to make a spur of the moment decision that they should leave as soon as possible; flee to another country where Hannibal can get screened for signs of bladder cancer or any other anomalies. when Hannibal eventually questions Will's motives for a finding nearby doctor, he makes an excuse that it's a simple precaution; that it's because Hannibal hasn't been to a doctor in three years. imagine if in this universe, Hannibal's bladder cancer is caught and treated early. imagine if in this universe, Will and Hannibal get their happily ever after. something Will never takes for granted. even during arguments or disagreements.

does anyone else constantly think about the way Hannibal said "we will make it together" in 2x10 when he thought they were cooking freddie together... and weep at how excited and soft Hannibal sounded in that moment? babygirl was seriously falling in love 😭 imagine Hannibal being so excited to cook that meal with Will because it would be his very first time sharing the cannibalistic side of himself with someone he believed accepted him and wanted to share that aspect of his life; wanted to be close in a way he'd never been with anyone before. imagine young Hannibal eating alone after his very first kill and believing this was how it would always be; having to stay hidden and eat these particular meals alone because no one in their right mind would feel comfortable eating what he cooked and made into something beautiful if they knew.

then, Hannibal met Will. don't even get me started on Hannibal's shy smile when they were eating together after cooking because can you imagine all the emotions swirling inside his mind? of finally being seen and accepted? and Will is still here sitting at the table encouraging Hannibal's eating habits?

and then Hannibal learns it was all a ruse?

running into a corner to sob for all eternity

Intro Post

name: ophelia (or ophie if you don't feel like spelling it out lol)

i've realized i'm trans within the last year and even though i prefer they/he pronouns now i don't think names have to be gendered. and ophelia is a name i've always loved since my teenage years. so it feels fitting to pick something new that fits with me a little better now. i understand people may forget to use 'ophelia' because it's nothing i've ever used in fandom, so it is totally okay if anyone calls me coffee instead. either is fine with me <3

i'm an adult (twenties). minors DNI because it's for my own comfort. please respect that. i write mature and sometimes explicit content. if i don't see your age (indicating your 18+) in your profile then i won't interact with you.

i love writing Hannigram fics centered around Hannibal being vulnerable. also whump, too, because it is sooo scrumptious to explore Hannibal's composure shattering and Will being there to witness it. anyone can send me fic prompts or send me a ramble in my ask page box (is that what it's called? 😭 idk but mine is titled "yap with me! ♡") to discuss Hannibal's vulnerability because i would love love love to yap my heart out about it with y'all (especially regarding regressed Hannibal/little Hannibal)!!

i use the tag "traumatized hannibal my beloved" and (and my newest one: "housewife hannibal my beloved") for nearly every (if not all) of my rambles about Hannibal's vulnerability. the tag "coffeeasks" is where i answer questions/respond to people's ask submissions! the tag "coffee rambles" is where my rambles go.

here is my vulnerable Hannibal fic rec list

(i might reorganize it one day very soon).

my AO3 is coffeeinrain!

Person who sent the prompt about Hannibal becoming skinny from the BSHCI and feeling dysmorphic over it—tbh both your options sound like they have such potential!! I was thinking about Hannibal growing too depressed to go on eating, but the other part of me thinks that because of his past he wouldn’t allow himself to starve like that (so long as he knows that his food isn’t poisoned). If he was deprived of food…I can only imagine the wrath Will would feel when Hannibal feebly tells him why he became so skinny.

omg i love that! someone suggested this and i am having thoughts about maybe one day, Hannibal was served soup and he ended up not being able to eat it. normally, Hannibal at least eats (because he doesn't like going hungry), but when it comes to soup, he simply cannot stomach it--especially stew. then one of the orderlies takes notice of it (that his food is nearly untouched) and from then on, soup is what Hannibal is given. Hannibal tries to eat, but he ends up vomiting after like five spoonfuls, and relives flashbacks / nightmares of his time in the cabin. soon, Hannibal loses the desire to eat and feels his stomach churn at every meal. then once Will sees how skinny Hannibal's become after recovering post-fall, suggests something easy for him to eat--like soup--and Hannibal's reliving his worst nightmare. but then Will catches on and suggests something else, anything Hannibal is willing to eat.