I Headcanon That Post-portal Ford Would Try To Impress You By Doing Really Athletic Stunt For Really

I headcanon that post-portal ford would try to impress you by doing really athletic stunt for really mundane tasks.

We all know he'd jump out the attic window for something as simple as getting money back from mothman

Picture evidence below:

But also I feel like he'd show off his strength by lifting heavy equipment to and from the lab without breaking a sweat. He'd be chopping wood for your fireplace even if you didn't ask him to.

He may even abandon his turtleneck to "cool off" but everyone knows he'd wear his usual coat even if there's a heatwave lol.

He'd pick you up and carry you to ned if you're being bratty and doomscrolling too much. OR if he just wants you all to himself fshsgdhsjajwjdh

Idk I just goddamn love this man

GRRRRRR no because im actually gnawing drywall over this. im feral over Ford performing feats of strength like a damn mating display. i swear, if he pulled any of that shit in front of me i’d react exactly like Dipper, screaming internally. but unlike Dipper, i would jump this man and eat his face like pizza. don’t test me

i am so weak for strong Ford its humiliating. yeah baby chop that wood. carry that weird space gun across the shack. grunt a little. wipe ur forehead. take the turtleneck off just to flex those arms and then put the coat back on because you’re still dramatic come on. id faint right there

yes, please carry me bridal style through the woods, saving me from some random dangerous anomaly shit. i’m the distressed damsel now. i’ve twisted my ankle. i need rescuing. let me hold your neck while you save me from smth dangerous

and that line “or if he just wants you all to himself” i smiled like an idiot because YES. YES. FORD POSSESSIVE. like you’re doomscrolling or ignoring him and he just decides nah. scoops you up like nothing, takes you to bed, and doesn’t even say anything at first. just kisses you because he wants to remind you who you belong to.

“you’ve been on that phone too long, sweetheart,” he mutters, already pulling your legs around his waist. “let me give you something better to focus on.”