Scrunkly Awkward Emo Teenager Messmer Save Me...save Me Scrunkly Awkward Emo Teenager Messmer

goddamn i wanted this to be a SKETCH. something definitely went wrong

however annoyed by an elden ring boss you are, remember, they're more annoyed by you. you're a lord or god or something, 15ft tall because you're a legend, hanging out behind your Fog Wall and some goddamn little duende saunters in with 5 different glowing effects around her. she rings a stupid little gnome bell and summons the ghost of some other weird cryptid. she hits you, ok not much damage, no problem. you hit her and she seems about halfway dead. she has a little sippy of her Duende Juicebox. She has precognition of how you move so she dodges 12 swipes in a row. you finally hit her again, this time hard. she takes a little sippy of her Duende Juicebox. she's Rudely stubbing your toe this whole time because she can't reach any higher than your shin. she seems to only know like 2 moves. you completely lose track of how many Sippies of her Duende Juicebox she takes after her seventh. as you tire, she seems cheerful and full of energy, ever sipping on her goddamn Duende Juicebox. you finally kill her. she enters through the fog again. this continues forever until you die

nah actually who is doing it like the markhellyna love square. they’re work crushes. they’re prey and predator. they’re best friends. they’re an ex-history professor and a nepo baby billionaire. they have the same sense of humor. theyre protector and protected. they’re in love. theyre stalker and stalkee. and mark scout has NO IDEA about any of this. like who has the range.

Fuck it, Elden Ring text posts

i cannot keep this jailed in my head any longer okay. I firmly believe the hollow knight has never and will never use a contraction in their life and what I mean by that:

like Ghost? absolutely. despite their very stoic nature they're out here spiting their 'purpose' as a empty vessel by speaking (however they might) in the most slurred, disjointed, vulgar way they can manage and they take great delight in it.

But I just KNOW in my heart of hearts that Hollow is the most pretentious, archaic guy out there. once you get past all the trauma and horror and pain and their siblings finally pull a coherent sentence out of them--like Ghost and Hornet are expecting their questions of "how do you feel what do you want" answered with, like, "I'm sort of fine I just want to rest" NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Hollow is going to hit them with thee thou and thy, okay. They were "raised" (loose!! Loose term, pale king my reluctant beloved) by an ancient wyrm-turned-king, okay. "Are you okay" is going to get the answer of "thy fears art wasted, siblings mine, on a vessel so impure and broken as I."

OKAY 😭 okay? I just need anyone to feel me. Like do you feel me? Hollow deserves to be a little pretentious. I want to read it so bad

King Morgott the Grace Giving and his quite suspicios advisor that tend to appear out of nowhere surrounded by some blood cultists. We only hope he doesn`t have any bad impact on our lord

Not realy a "human au" but a disguise versions for different occasions. I like to think Morgott sometimes have to appear in front of people as, well, Morgott the King and Mohg simply likes to be part of Morgott`s ruling because A) he doesnt see a king but this messy homeless looking brother that trying his best to pretend he`s a king which includes to look good and wear proper king clothes and he hates every second of it B) anything interesting can happen and who knows how he can use it I have a very bad time with human-Mohg because every time i color he looks weird with that beard, some random pirate that has nothing to do with mohg lol

but of course mark s feels nothing for gemma that’s what he was born to do

Based on the INT requirements for the sorceries they can cast, Rennala and Rellana are canonically two of the most intelligent characters in Elden Ring. And the fact that they both fell for unhinged, genocidal redheads is proof that intelligence is not the same as wisdom.

jaime and brienne literally make me heartsick. i have never felt so genuinely distraught at anything as i was at how they ended. like braime makes me nauseated and miserable and closer to tears than anything ever. i delight in it mostly except for the late nights where i burn at the unfairness of their ending and how brutally they massacred jaime's growth and the LOOK in brienne's eyes when she was writing his deeds in the book. the noise of anguish that was punched out of me the first time i watched their story through was unholy.