Enemy Exclusivity

Enemy Exclusivity

shigaraki x gn reader

tags: crack fic, silly

synopsis: Shigaraki comes into your room in the middle of the night to suggest that you become exclusive. The only problem: you aren't in a relationship; you're just the hero that's been tailing him for months

wc: 1k

warnings: stalking behavior?

a/n: i wrote this in a fugue state at 2 am. this is quite possibly the dumbest thing ive ever written. very lego batman coded

“Hey, wake up,” a voice hissed at you from the end of your bed, hand coming around your calf to roughly shake you awake. “We have to talk.”

You groaned and buried your face further in your pillow, annoyed at the interruption of your already minuscule hours of sleep. 

“I already fed you, dumb cat,” you moaned, before snapping your eyes open with the realization that one: cats don't talk. And two: you lived alone. 

You lunged for your nightstand, quickly flipping the switch for your lap. “Fuck,” you and the other voice hissed in unison, squeezing your eyes shut. After a few seconds of your eyes adjusting to the harsh light that flooded the previously pitch-dark room, you squinted to see the figure of Tomura Shigaraki standing cross-armed at the end of your bed.

“Finally, you're awake.” he seemed pleased at the notion.

Suddenly you were lunging for something else, one of the several weapons you left on your nightstand as a result of, what your therapist called, intense paranoia and anxiety. Unfortunately for you, someone, (probably the person standing at the end of your bed), stole from you, leaving you defenseless other than your quirk.

“Listen,” he sighed, before sitting on the edge of your mattress, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and unfolding it to read the scrawled, warbly hiragana. “I don’t think you’re giving our relationship the time it deserves. I feel like your focus has been elsewhere, on other villains.” You blinked, trying to clear the dryness of your eyes. You still weren’t convinced this wasn’t a bad dream. 

“How the fuck did you get in my apartment?”

“Kurogiri warped me in here,” Shigaraki scoffed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Anyways,” he huffed, clearly wanting to return to the subject at hand. Clearing his throat, he returned to his note. “I think we should return to a time where it was just us. I’d like to return to our game of cat and mouse-”

“Hold on,” you interrupted. While it was true that you were the hero tasked with occasionally following Shigaraki and the rest of the League’s whereabouts, you were never exclusive, and you certainly weren’t playing any games. “Am I the cat or the mouse?” He glared at you, clearly offended. “I’m obviously the cat, and you aren’t focusing on what I’m saying.” 

You couldn’t believe it. Had he seriously broken into your apartment to beg you for what, exclusivity in your relationship? You didn’t know what else to call it. You were sitting two feet away from someone who could easily kill you- quietly too. You couldn’t tell if the silent threat against your life or just the sheer care behind his words drove you to agree with him. It was almost touching; He wrote you a whole speech, made the effort of breaking into your apartment, all for the purpose of trying to be exclusive with you. Blinking rapidly, you snapped yourself out of the thought. Sure, this might have been cute in one of those dating games he happened to be playing when you were tied up in his room a few months ago, but this was real life.

You huffed. “Sorry.” “Whatever, anyways.” he sniffed. “I think we should return to our game of cat and mouse, you should drop all other villains you are fighting, and you should allow me to be your only enemy once again.” Crumpling his paper again in his fist, he returned it to his pocket, expectantly awaiting your response. 

You pressed the pause button on the tape of your memory. Those ropes you were tied up with were a tad too loose to be an accident. “Wait, two months ago when you had me tied up-” Tomura blinked. “I already deleted those games if that’s what you’re going to ask.”

“No, it’s just,” you sighed. “For all this time, have you been letting me go?”

His face reddened at your question, picking at the dry skin of his neck. “Well yeah. How else were we going to be enemies?” 

You clenched your blanket in your fist, trying to ground yourself. Think of the big picture. “I thought you hated heroes. Wanted to destroy hero society and all that.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “But our relationship makes me stronger, I need practice before I destroy All Might.” Now that logic you could at least pretend to entertain. Understand even. “Besides, when we finally go to war, I know you'll follow me.”

Nevermind, that leap in logic halted the gears in your head. You were a hero. You had morals. “How do you know that?” 

“I've seen the way you look at me,” he stated. Maybe your morals weren’t apparent enough. You rubbed your face, it was too early for this. Perhaps if you agreed, he’d finally leave and let you sleep.

“Okay, sure.” You yawned, curling in on your side. 

He grinned excitedly. “So you'll do it? It'll just be us again?” 

Groaning, you turned back over on your stomach, burying your face back in its rightful spot in your pillow. “Yeah, just us.” Taking him up on his offer could be a good thing, since Shigaraki’s threats were quickly rising on the commission’s list of priorities. You could figure out the whole “following you to war,” thing later.

“Awesome,” Shigaraki quickly rose to his feet, before whipping out his phone to send a quick text. Within seconds, a purple, swirling portal appeared at the edge of your bedroom. “I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” sighing, you opened one eye to look at him. “Yeah, see ya.” 

Shigaraki smiled at you as he prepared to step through the portal. Suddenly he turned back and marched to your side, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. Without another word, he stepped through the rapidly disappearing portal, leaving you alone in your room with your thoughts. 

Outloud and to no one in particular, you whispered your only thought. “What the fuck was that.” Your face felt hot enough to fry an egg. “And why did I like it when he kissed me?”