You Broke Me First | H.j

you broke me first | h.j

synopsis: You feel sad and empty but every help comes to late 

pairing:  jisung  x female reader

genre: Pure Angst with a bit of fluff at the end

word count: 0.7k

warnings: Death, Sadness , sad feelings , drowning , just sadness

autors note: I just wrote down whats on my mind as i listened to the song. Italics are Lyrics

Maybe you don't like talkin' too much about yourself

But you should've told me

That you were thinking 'bout someone else

You're drunk at a party

Or maybe it's just that your car broke down

Your phone's been off for a couple of months

So you're callin' me now

The water was getting colder the longer you stood in it. Your feet touching the soft sand as the Moon shines above you, your hair was just falling down your shoulder. The waves splashed against your legs. Your soft blue dress moving slowly with the water. It was supposed to be a vacation. Now you stood there alone. No one to hold on, No one who could catch you when you fall. Your heart feels empty  just like your brain. No thoughts only the Moon, the water and you in the middle of it. This is how it feels to be left alone in the dark… this is how it feels when-

I know you, you're like this

When shit don't go your way

You needed me to fix it

And like me, I did

But I ran out of every reason

You suddenly remember how loved you feelt. How much love you feelt from him. When he hugged you and told you that you are doing just fine. The way his skin feels against yours, the way his hand fits perfectly in yours. The way his eyes sparkle when he tells you about things he loves, the way his cheeks puff up when he stores food in them making him look like a squirrel. The way he always knew what to tell you when you thought that  no one is going to make you smile. You missed it all. You missed the way he kissed you, the way his lips feel against yours. The way he kissed every millimetre of your Body, Praising you, telling you that you are perfect the way you are. Telling you that you are Beautiful. He always knew what to say to make a smile appear on your face again. The way his arms held you in the night, how they tightened their hold on you as if you were the last thing that held him on earth. He was your Home… your everything… your life line when everything feels like its braking.  

Now suddenly, you're askin' for it back

Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?

Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had

But I don't really care how bad it hurts

When you broke me first

Now everything feels lonely and sad. You didn't notice the tears, you didn't notice them running down your cheeks like a river, you didn't notice that the water was now even colder, you didn't notice how time was running and you wished to turn it back o the time when he was there to hold you and kiss you, you didn't notice that you were slowly walking deeper in the water, you didn't notice you phone ringing, maybe you did notice it but you choose to ignore it, you didn't see someone walking towards you, you didnt heard someone softly whispering your name, No you don't notice all of this to deep in your thought and amazed how pretty the moon was shining above you. Suddenly nothing made sense to you anymore. 

Took a while, I was in denial when I first heard

That you moved on quicker than I could've ever

You know that hurt

Swear, for a while, I would stare at my phone

Just to see your name

But now that it's there, I don't really know what to say

Now everything you felt was pain and sadness. Just wishing for someone to hold on, someone to tell you how you feel, someone that made it worth to breath, someone who loves you with all your flaws. Suddenly you feel someone turning you and your face was against someone's chest. It felt familiar… The cologne… the smell, the soft whispers of your name rolling off his tongue like honey. It was Him. He was holding you again and whispering sweet nothings in your ear, like he used to do. “Sungie i'm so tired” suddenly everything went black. Like your sistem shut down, like you were falling.

I know you, you're like this

When shit don't go your way

You needed me to fix it

And like me, I did

But I ran out of every reason

Now suddenly, you're askin' for it back

Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?

Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had

But I don't really care how bad it hurts

When you broke me first

You broke me first…