ARE Straight People Okay Though? I’m In A Het Relationship Right Now, Both Of Us Having Dated All Along

ARE straight people okay though? I’m in a het relationship right now, both of us having dated all along the gender spectrum, and people always seem surprised how much we communicate.

I’ve been questioning my sexuality lately as I’m pretty sure I’m a romantic. I sat down with him and we had a long conversation about how this affects us and deciding to stick through because we’re both content, but we both have an understanding that things change.

The weirdest thing? The most unbelieving reactions come from parents and other older friends.

Like, y’all okay? Have you talked to your partner recently?

Anyway, sorry to vent like this, I’m just really content with my life right now and want to spread it during this month of love and acceptance.

More Posts from Cheshirecathidingonacliff and Others

I love hearing about research done into lgbtqi+ of the distant past. Especially a romantic stuff like me! Makes me feel like I’m not crazy, you know?

you gonna bac up your claim that cisgender straight people who lack sexual attraction have always been queer? or is speaking out your ass all you can do

Sure! Let’s go! I’m always up to stretch both my lgbt history muscles. Sorry if it took awhile but I am passionate about this stuff and wanted to do some good writing and find some really great sources for you! 😊

In 1869 a humanitarian and journalist named Karl-Maria Kertbeny published pamphlets to oppose the sodomy law in Prussia. In these pamphlet he is widely regarded as beginning the terms “homosexual” and “heterosexual” in the academic mainstream; though, it is likely these were lgbt terms used long before that time. In this same pamphlet advocating explicitly for gay rights, Kertbeny refers to those who engage only in masturbation and not in sex with others as seperate from straight people, coining an entirely different term: “monosexual.” Now, this term is outdated and widely used the m-spec sub community to refer to straight, gay, and lesbian folks lacking multi-gender attraction, but he states very explicitly in all his work that this term is meant to refer to people we would now understand to be asexual.

A little later, in the 1890’s we have sexologist, founder of the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee, and an openly gay man himself, Magnus Hirschfeld. He published his work “Sappho and Sokrates”: a pamphlet he wrote with the task of explaining the lgbt community to straight people. He makes multiple references to and defences of what he called “anesthesia sexuals.” Again, an outdated term, but as you can see, both gay advocates and straight allies referenced us as being part of the community like it was nothing.

Meanwhile, we have the lovely Emma Trosse, an academic peer to Hirschfeld. She discussed gay rights—especially the rights of lesbians and non-binary people—very openly and wrote multiple papers on the subject. But at her heart, Trosse was a researcher, and so her most famous work, naturally, was an indepth study of what she referred to as “counter-sexualities” as stand in for what we now know as the broader lgbt community. In this work she coins the phrase Asensuality, stating “the author has the courage to admit to this category” officially coming out in her own study! Damn lady! We love her. The Schwules Museum (literally the Gay Museum), a famous German LGBTQ+ museum dedicated to collections focusing on the history of lgbt research, features her work prominently. She also holds the distinction of having been banned as a “degenerate” author in Austria-Hungary, the German Empire, and Russia for that very work. On top of that, she was the first woman on record to have a treatise in defense of lgbt people and our community published in 1895, even before her colleague Hirschfeld had his first works published.

As you can see 19th century Germany was a hub of lgbt theory, research, and activism still studied by lgbt historians today. It is widely credited as being a period of time that brought our history into print and the mainstream. And ace people, as I noted before, have been involved both in mention and in activism from the beginning according to both prominent allies, gay folks, and ace folks who were scholars during this period.

But, now lets move over with a bigger hop to the sexual revolution in America; which mirrored the German one in many ways! This is the period of time a lot of people, especially americans, think of as the start of our mainstream history—which as you can see a very americancentric idea, but I digress. Even here we have asexuals represented among the community by diverse members of the community.

You’ve probably heard of the Asexual Manifesto, written by Lisa Orlando and published by the New York Radical Feminists. A very important document to ace-spec people, it defines us as a sexuality seperate and distinct from straight; but you aren’t interested in what we have to say about ourselves and our experiences so lets move on to other lgbt people validating us.

Kinsey—himself an m-spec or multisexual person—recognized us in his research, which he picked up from at the point our lovely Hirschfeld left off, basically. This was later expanded on by Michael D Storm, author of Theories of Sexual Orientation. He reimagined the Kinsey Scale as a two dimensional map, which became the beginnings of the modern Kinsey Scale used in the lgbt community today. He posited it was better able to distinguish asexuals from m-spec people as it defined them less based on sexual preferences, or lack their of, based in gender (which would put both sexualities squarely in the centre of the 1D scale), and more on their self described experiences of attraction. So that’s right, you read correctly; the latest rendition of the Kinsey Scale was created in response to a piece that was published after Kinsey’s original studies specifically to better include asexuals who were already featured in the study and scale.

Then we move to the “The Sexually Oppressed.” Published in 1977, it was a book that did exactly what it set out to do: describe people who were oppressed by heteronormative society and their struggles. It was published by social worker, Harvey L. Gochros and featured the work of Myra T. Johnson in a piece describing the way in which mainstream culture affected asexual women specifically, and how straight feminists often shamed and gatekept them from liberating movements, while straight men continued to be an omnipresent threat via corrective assault and forced institutionalization. It was actually a text book in my college, very good read—goes into the ableism present in sexual oppression as well. I highly recommend it.

Also, just as a bonus, I’ve included an extra link below to “On the Racialization of Asexuality” by Ianna Hawkins Owen. She goes into depths about how the allosexual vs asexual discourse we see starting in America in the 70's—which has turned into the modern global “ace discourse” of today—started with nationalist discussions that have their roots in white supremacy, the white construction of binary womanhood, and chattel slavery. An offering from my university days.

Anyways, I hope you and any other lovely readers who come across this enjoy and educate yourselves a bit. Knowledge is power!

P.S. I could not find “The Sexually Oppressed” available online for some reason (but mind you, I am very bad at computers) so I linked a website that should show you the nearest library in your area that carries it. It’s a very popular social work read.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/03/asexuality-history-internet-identity-queer-archive.html

http://csclub.uwaterloo.ca/~pbarfuss/Asexual-Manifesto-Lisa-Orlando.pdf

https://books.google.ca/books?id=XbgTAwAAQBAJ&pg=PT113&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

https://books.google.ca/books?id=IH2GCgAAQBAJ&pg=PA122&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

https://www.worldcat.org/title/sexually-oppressed/oclc/925168401&referer=brief_results

This one's from the Twitter suggestion pile! https://twitter.com/aurabeth/status/1399538324088496132

This One's From The Twitter Suggestion Pile! Https://twitter.com/aurabeth/status/1399538324088496132
ADHD Life Hacks #41,279: Vegetable Management

ADHD life hacks #41,279: Vegetable Management

source tweet: X


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House I’m working now has a cat. I was not told there would be a cat. More updates to follow.


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Geeze, it’s weird being a long time fan. Like, I remember the feelings of “awww, cute!” When I started in Juliette era, and now so much has happened and those feelings have just grown into a kind of motherly pride, ya know?

All These Babynee Pictures I Have Saved!
All These Babynee Pictures I Have Saved!
All These Babynee Pictures I Have Saved!
All These Babynee Pictures I Have Saved!

all these babynee pictures i have saved!


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A good squishy.

Suction cup boi

(via)


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some of you haven’t realized that improving the world is a battle of miserable inches and not something that can be done in a glorious blaze of revolution and it shows

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cheshirecathidingonacliff - The Moon Is Smiling, So I’ll Smile Too.
The Moon Is Smiling, So I’ll Smile Too.

“Like the Cheshire Cat, let your smile be noticed first, running next to your voice.”-a stranger on a bus.

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