"Just Please Let Me Go" Was The Most Hearbreaking Wording Choice Nora Could Have Done

"Just please let me go" was the most hearbreaking wording choice Nora could have done

It shows everything

First of all how done and tired he is ("just")

Also the "let me go" part: he is not asking only to be left alive, he is asking his father to let him go, let him live his life.

In book one he says that everytime he wakes up he has to remind himself everything is okay bc he always wakes up thinking his father found him and he has to take a few deep breaths and ground himself before starting his day

This has been this boy's life EVERY DAY for NINE YEARS, in other words, this has been his life for about 3.200 days.

This "let me go" isnt just a desperate plea for his life, but it is the plea of a kid who cant stand being afraid, scared and always on the run anymore. It has been NINE YEARS, and Nathan just cant let him go, for NINE YEARS Nathan didnt allow neither him or his mother to really go and he made their lifes a living hell. So what Neil is asking here is to be freed from the nightmare his whole life had always been, because of Nathan

He knows it is not gonna work, but he cant take it anymore. He had been strong for too much time and at that moment, all he wanted to was to live, but really live, not just be alive. And he couldnt do that unless his father letted him go

Another thing that always hurts me about this part is that he had accepted he was gonna die, literally until he saw his father

When it comes to kidnappings you should NEVER allow your kidnappers to take you to a second location. If you get kidnapped and you plan on trying to run, you gotta do it BEFORE you get to the second location. No matter how hard it seems to scape, it will be even harder once you are in the second location. Once you arrive where your kidnappers want you, then it is almost surely game over

Neil probably knew this very well. Like, even my mom taught me that, Mary definitely taught this to him

But even knowing that, when does he decides to try to scape???

Not only when he was already inside his father's house, at his basement (aka: second location), but also when his father arrived (aka: the worst possible time)

And this wasn't a rational decision

When Neil received Lola's call, he accepted he was gonna die that day. He didnt fight it, bc he had already accepted he was gonna be dead before may. Off course, it was earlier then what he wanted it to be, but it felt just like destiny knocking earlier at his door

But then he saw his father and reality hitted, HE WAS GONNA DIE

And at that moment he realized he wasnt fucking ready to go, not now, not this early. There was so much he wanted, most importantly there were the Foxes, he didnt want to leave them, he didnt want to leave Andrew, he wasnt ready. He tought he was, but he wasn't

And thats when he makes his desperate scape attempt and his desperate last plea "just please let me go", that wasnt a plea just for his life. He was asking his father to, after nine years, allow him to be happy, to be safe, to "go". It is the last plea of an abused kid to his abuser. "Just stop abusing me, Just stop obsessing with me. LET ME LIVE"

He knows it wont work, but at this point, after finally finding what to live for, he had to at least try it

If Nathan had found him at the beggining of his first season with the Foxes or while he was still in his HS team, he would have died without letting out a single scream or plea. Bc at that point he was living out of spite. He was living with the hopes he would eventually find what to live for. He had nothing but his pride, and he sure as hell wasnt gonna allow Nathan to take it from him.

But when Baltimore happens, he had found what to live for, his wildest hopes became true, he had what to live for. He realizes it when he finally sees his father after all this time. So at that point, fuck his pride, the Foxes were more important then that. So he begs. Knowing it will fall on death ears, but the life he had built for himself was way too important for him to not try. Nathaniel, the kid raised to endure all sorts of pain and scape from an entire mafia, would never beg shit to his father. But the Foxes had humanized him, so at that moment he does what any other human would do: he asks for his life. There, it was the first time In the whole series Neil does something remotely similar to what a 19 years old would (and even so, he still kept a certain composure). And that was when Neil Josten finally buried Nathaniel Wesninski. He did what Neil would do at that moment, not what Nathaniel would

Anyways, he was just a kid and I hate Nathan so much

I just hope this bastard is burning in hell and having to watch his son heal and live in spite of him

genuinely the most heartbreaking part in aftg like out of the whole series is at the end of the kings men when neil snaps and starts begging for his life

like his “please, just let me go, just let me go i’m not—” LIKE UGHHHH

to me it really emphasizes just how young he is…like he’s literally only 19 he’s a teenager!!! begging for his life!!!! (after trying so hard to save face in front of lola in the car it didn’t even matter in the end bc fuck i’m about to die)

and also just the parallel with andrew and his hatred in the word, that he also said please and it didn’t work

(and the fact that he probably also came to a point where he knew it wouldn’t work but he had to try and beg anyways bc there’s no way out he has no other options he has nothing to gain but nothing to lose either just please let me go—)