Neil Is That Stray Cat Who Will Scratch The Absolute Sh*t Out Of You If You Try To Hug Or Pet It

Neil is that stray cat who will scratch the absolute sh*t out of you if you try to hug or pet it

He needs ppl who will just accept his presence there, no matter how many cups he pushes off of the balcony(and he WILL push every mug or cup he has the opportunity to, bc he is just waiting for the time it is gonna be too much and everyone is gonna leave him, like he is used to) and ppl who will not bother or make a big deal out of it once he eventually decides to get close and lay on their laps or by their side. But getting close has to be his decision, bc his problem isnt that he thinks no one would ever show him love, his problem is that he believes he is too much and that this love will never be something permanent, at some point he is gonna cause too much trouble and ppl will give up on him. So he has to be the one to get close and he just needs ppl to be prepared for when he realizes they arent backing away, no matter how hard he tries to make them. Those are the Foxes. They respected all his limits (biggest example is the shower thing), stayed away as long as he needed to (but always in arms reach) and once he believed he had gone too far and nobody would be there for him (Baltimore), they still are there waiting. Thats when he opens up and allows them to come in his world. He would never survive the Trojans shower of affection or their worried intromissions in his life (not bc he didnt like them, but bc he would never see them as genuine, so he would see it as threat and run)

Jean is that dog that has been beaten and put to sleep on the outside way too many times. He doesnt know love, but he also doesnt know freedom. He doesnt need ppl to prove that they will stick by him, bc his abusers have stuck by his side all his life. He needs ppl to prove to him that they will stay by his side not because they hate or despise him, but because they love him deeply. Once he sees affection he will find it weird, but he will accept it (bc he was taught not to bite, unlike tge stray cat, that learned to bite and scratch at the smallest sign of a threat) long enough to actually start liking it. He will see the love he never had and even though it scares the fuck out of him, he will stay. He doesnt believe anybody would ever love him, but he has wished to be a loved qll his life with every cell of his body, so once he is in fact loved, even though it scares him and he doesnt think he desearves it, he cant help but to be drawn by it. For him it feels like a trap (why would anybody ever love HIM??), but he just cant help to fall for it. And once he realizes it in fact isnt a trap and that ppl actually like and find him worthy, he will also start to give this love back, bc thats all he ever wanted, to love and be loved. It still feels like ge is in a fever dream, but he just wants to enjoy every single part of it, like someone who has walked on a desert for days and suddenly finds a river with clean water

They are completely different, but at the same both Neil and Jean just wanted to find a family, to find ppl who would love and accept them for who they were and both have found it 🥹🥹

I just love them so much

The more I think about the differences between how the Trojans show affection vs how the Foxes do, the more I come to the conclusion that they unwittingly created the perfect environment for Jean and Neil’s arcs respectively.

Take for example the way Cat and Laila show Jean affection. The forehead kisses, the hugs, the endless reassurance and compassion. It may go without saying but Neil would’ve hated it if he ended up in that situation. He would’ve booked it faster than you can say Wesninski. But Jean? I mean sure he was baffled at first, but the way he grows to lean into it? The way he shows affection the same way back? Jean needed that brand of affection in a way Neil won’t ever. He needed to learn that he was deserving of such love; that there are people out there now who cared about him as deeply as he does them.

Neil on the other hand needed to learn a whole different set of lessons. The Foxes showing him that they care was less such obvious displays of love and more about patience in the face of his complications. More about their willingness to stick by him when the fabricated life he clung so hard to unraveled at the seams. Jean wouldn’t have flourished as much in that environment because he didn’t need understanding as much as he needed love. He didn’t need someone to help piece his life back together as much as he needed someone to love what was already there.

Neil is like an innocent looking stray cat that the foxes still kept even when they got bit; while Jean is like an abused show dog that the Trojans nurse back to health. And good lord do I love them both for it.