My Friends Whenever I Start Talking About Malevolent

Whenever I'm feeling sad I just imagine Jon reading a statement fully in character, tears and everything, then immediately just sitting up, breathing in and going 'statement ends' like nothing happened before concluding that what he just passionately read out loud was utter bullshit

SON OF A BITCH

[check under cut for more]

Hello, Jon.

Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.

I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

This just inspired me to finally finish Lord of the Rings after like a year

Just listened to MAG100 again and I forgot that this adhd having ass mf Robert just left??? The spiral??? Because he was late for mummy's dinner??? HOW??? Like damn someone's getting rusty 😭

Secret fourth option: Divorce

Malevolent has 3 moods

theres creatures and theyre going to fucking GET you

genuinely the most devastating, soul crushing thing youve ever heard

Yaoi

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Absolutely would

Vincent Price as Dr. Goldfoot

The Wild, Weird World of Dr. Goldfoot (1965)

Are we DEADASS 💔