Got This Ad Immediately After This Post😓

Ummm... New oc, as if I don't already have too many, lol He seems like a total bitch but is actually just a mouthy, little, spoiled brat that could destroy your entire life if he wanted to(as if that's better than just being a bitch). Anyways, I love him. Does anyone have any name ideas? Anything snake- or royal-like should work.

Me: *has a GI stomach bug,aka:is sick*

Dad: have you fed the rabbits?

Me: no, I've been throwing up and my body aches, and I don't want to move.

Dad: well you better go see how many of them are dead, then.

Me, internally: it's only been two days? I'm sick?? Why is that no one else can do it??? Literally, you can do it???? IM SICK?????

Panicking over something I shouldn't

I still panic

When you come back

Each time

I think

You're going to do it

Again

And I panic

Because you'll blame me

And I'm scared

That you'll be right

This time

I wish

I didn't think of you

Anymore

And I hope

That I stop

Thinking

Of that night

Because I'm so scared

That you'll do it

Again

And I won't be able

To stop you

That way I did

Last time

Because

It wasn't my fault

And I hate it when

You blame me

For not coming back

When I'm scared

That it'll happen again

If I came back

Like how you want me too

I'm scared

That you wont

Come back anymore

A and I'd rather

Have you hate me

From a distance

As someone

I don't feel

Responsible for

Anymore

Because

You make it my fault

And I

Convence myself

That you're right

And I

Forget

That you're not

Scared of the same

Things as I am

Because you love to blame me

And was never really my fault

Stop scaring me

I'm not coming back

I don't want that night

To happen again

So stop

Making it my fault

I left all this

Behind me

And I gave up

When

There was nothing

I could do

For you anymore

I'm sorry

I'm not enough

And

I'm sorry

That

I

Never

Was

I'm mostly numb but I cry sometimes.

I kept debating as to whether or not I should post about this but then I remembered that my only other relatively-social outlet is my therapist so I decided to post.

My childhood friend shot himself yesterday. He died this afternoon while in the hospital.

At first I thought: "I won't be majorly affected by this, I haven't talked to him in over a year! I'm just uncomfortable because talking about suicide makes my anxiety spike due to another friends of mine attempting with me as her last goodbye!"(She's alive as far as I know, thank fucking god)

But then my mom was talking to my grandmother about what happened and mentioned that I'd been friends with him and his little sister...

And I realized... Jacob is dead. One of my childhood friends killed himself.

We're only 15... My friend is gone and we're practically still children

I keep having random bouts of re-realization because it just doesn't make any sense...

I can't feel anything. He's dead. He's gone and my emotions keep going in and out like an indesicve tide hugging the shore.

One second I'm sobbing and then, for a while, I'm completely numb.

I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was so sure that this wouldn't affect me.

But she's ok. The friend I mentioned earlier is still alive.

I'm so glad she's alive, though. If I'm reacting like this to someone I haven't talked to in almost a year- I can only imagine what I'd be feeling if she'd succeeded...

I hope she knows how happy I am every time I remember that she's alive.

And how comforting that thought is now.

Because we're still just kids. Because we shouldn't be dying.

We're just kids

Ummm... yeah! I drew this kinda a while ago but this girl in my art class complimented my lineart/inking sooo... My love of this drawing greatly increased... And I decided to post it!

Fun reblog game: Reblog if you love being non-binary in any form! Yes I have much love for my binary friends but this one is for my other and neithers and all of the aboves and some of the aboves and sometimes and never and everything in between!!!!

Personally I love being non-binary. It fits me so well, I am just other and that's what I am! I don't have to to be one thing or another and I love it!

Birthdays suck.

I wanna die, haha.

HAVE A CUTE PIC OF MY BABY, HAHAHAA!!!

I bumped into an old friend I havent seen in months at the store and then, minutes later, got sent a text from a different old friend that I also haven't talked to in months...

THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH SOCIAL INTERACTIONS FOR ME, ESPECIALLY IN ONE FUCKING DAY, FUCK YOU UNIVERSE!!!

This post claims to have 1 note but I'm pretty sure me posting it doesn't count. 🙃🐢🙃🐢

Encyclopedias

Of random/oddly specific topics: do they exist and where can I get them. Seriously, I want.

I want encyclopedias/books of/about:

-plants (specifically succulents, cacti, and sunflowers)

-animals (rabbits, cats, frogs, turtles, sheep, goats, snakes, and bees)

-clothes/fashion/trends (fuck me up with that character design material)

-art (just a fucking book about art history and shit because I fucking want one)

I just- I have some things I wanna learn about and they happen to be very strange and specific, ok.

Please love the artist they are the BEST and I LOVE THEM

this show is a rOLLERCOASTER I swEar-