Fic Teaser: Chapter 3 Of "Last Call"

Fic Teaser: Chapter 3 of "Last Call"

(Chapters 1 & 2 on Ao3 here.)

It wasn’t as though she’d never thought about the idea of asking Sergei to defect before.

It had been a small, secret dream, one she’d only rarely let herself indulge in. Him agreeing to come to NASA. Them working side by side, every day, to send humanity further out into the solar system, to Mars and beyond. Them being able to build a real life together. To be together.

But Margo had allowed herself to imagine this only rarely because she had always known it was impossible.

Almost the first thing Sergei said to her, in the first real conversation they’d ever had, was that he would never defect. Until now, she’d never seen enough reason to believe that may have changed. Leaving his home, his country, his entire life behind, for her – it was far too much to ever actually ask of him.

But, he’d said at the same time, he was given a long leash because of his superiors’ knowledge that he would never defect. The leash had been severely tightened, now, if what Sergei had told her tonight could be believed. So, would his openness to the idea of defecting also have changed?

Margo still wasn’t sure how much of what he’d told her tonight could be believed. She’d learned that he had been betraying her trust for years. And yet she found herself still wanting to trust him, now.

Could Sergei still just be lying to her even now, about all of it? Just using her for his government’s ends? If that was the case, then maybe getting her to believe he was in danger, so she would keep him close to her, bring him back to the United States with her, was exactly what they wanted.

Rationally, Margo knew she had to consider this a possibility, but in her heart, she rejected it. The guilt and shame, the pain and fear that she had seen and heard from him tonight — it all felt too real. Though, of course, everything about their connection had always felt real, for the past nine years.

She simply wasn’t going to be able to be sure about all of it. Not tonight, at least. She didn’t have enough time. She had to make a choice anyway. And if she chose to let him go, the risk was too great to bear. Rational or not, Margo knew that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if Sergei’s life was in danger and she failed to save him.

Keeping him close to her, in the way she used to want, would now have to be out of the question, of course. If he defected and came to NASA, she would have to set strict professional terms for their new working relationship. He was a brilliant engineer who’d be very valuable to NASA; that much couldn’t be faked, and that was how she would have to learn to see him now. Any personal feelings and former hopes would need to be put aside, left behind, buried in the rubble of everything that had fallen apart in this one horrible night. Margo didn’t want to think about how difficult a task that still seemed to be. She would do it, because it would be necessary.

She’d stayed silent for too long, by then. Sergei spoke again, softly.

“Margo. I know I have no right to ask you to do anything, or even to suggest. But, what do you think of what I said before? Will you go home to Houston as soon as you can tomorrow? Get away from the KGB here and, and try to keep yourself safe?”

She looked up at him. “No.”

Sergei frowned at her, but she cut him off before he could reply.

“Sergei, I mean what I said about getting us out of this. It’s obviously not safe for you to go home. So, I’m wondering if …” She took a deep breath. This was the only option. Out with it.

“Would you consider defecting to the United States? If you came to work for NASA, you’d be an incredible asset, and I know I’m not the only one who’d see it that way. There are people I could talk to, and, I know it could all be arranged.”

To her surprise, he smiled a little.

“I have dreamed that you might ask me this one day, Margo.”

He had?

His smile faded. “But, no. No, it can’t be. If I defect, the KGB would retaliate against my family, I am sure. I won’t leave them.”