Bunnyoftheapocalypse - Bunny Of The Apocalypse

LOL! He's a genius. Combining a guy's

Cool Cat Scopes Out Ladies from the Toilet

"How you girls doing?"

I laughed so fucking hard at this

Trying to take back myself

Well, I haven't been looking on Tumblr for months now much less posted anything. A short while after my last post (back in October 2010) I was unexpectedly released by my Master. It was a complete blindside for me. When I had talked to him on Friday things were fine. Monday morning he released me.

I do understand his reasons and they had nothing to do with *me* but with his immediate family situation. Yes, I did know what had been going on with it but he didn't give me any idea that he was going to so abruptly make this decision. So no real warning at all for it for me. And it was while I was at work. By YahooIM. 

It's been THIS long (now the beginning of March 2011) for me to really realize just how badly hurt I was and the extent of the affect it has had on me. And the affect it is having on my other relationships. 

It completely shattered my self confidence and ability to trust or be secure in a relationship. I've been a neurotic mess for months. I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who has been trying to help me as well as a Dom I was allowed to still play with by my ex-Master who was also a good friend, and has become one of my best friends by this time. They both didn't let me curl up in my bed and completely draw away from everything to do with the lifestyle. I love them both beyond words for everything they've done for me and all their patience with me through the past months.

Now, I'm *finally* in a place with myself that I am starting what is I'm sure will be a long road to rebuild myself and my confidence in myself so that I can be happy again and a less neurotic train wreck. (hey, I'm not perfect! I'm sure I'll still have my bad days.) It's a daunting thing to consider how much work I think I'll be needing to do to get my confidence back, but it will be worth it. For me and for them. We will all be happier. I have absolutely no doubt about that. 

So, as part of remaking myself I am going to be taking my Tumblr back for myself as well. I had set it up for myself and it turned into something I did for the ex. I'm sure I'll end up posting things having to do with what I want done to me by my friend who is also now my Dominant as well. 

I've gone back and forth over removing my past posts having directly to do with the ex. But (at least for now) have decided not to. They were part of my life at that time so while I might not want to think about it right now, they are a good reminder of the things I am capable of. At least, what I'm capable of when I'm a whole person and not the badly damaged mess I still am right now.

I will get back to the person I was then and be the better for it as well since I am now going to have a better understanding of myself through having to identify and rebuild the damaged parts of myself. I will have a better foundation for my sense of self and confidence. 

So while this sucks sweaty dirty donkey balls right now and I'm sure will for some time, I want myself back. I used to generally *like* myself. I don't right now. I don't like the person I've become. So I will fix it. The process will probably be quite unpleasant at times, but I want to like myself again and be happy with who I am. 

And I will.

Historical GIFs

Graphic designer extraordinaire Kevin Weir spends his time crafting historical GIFs. Restoring photos from the Library of Congress with an offbeat twist, Weir’s results are equal parts eccentric and incredible. <

i learned that actor Danny Trejo has the most on-screen deaths of anyone in Hollywood history, with 65. Followed by Christopher Lee (60), Lance Henriksen (51), Vincent Price (41), Dennis Hopper (41), Boris Karloff (41), and John Hurt (39). (x)

So true.

I love to struggle some days. As hard as I possibly can. I want to be able to feel the ropes bite into my skin and know I'll be wearing the rope marks later as a reminder. To throw myself against them in a frenzy until I'm panting and slick with sweat. To be able to then look up at my Master and see him smiling above me as he watches me fight until I've tired myself out. To know, without a doubt, that I am completely helpless bound as I am by him. That I can do nothing but just submit to whatever he wishes to do to me.

At that point the ropes don't feel like restraints any more, but my Master's arms securely around me. Holding me tightly and surrounding me.

collaredprincess:

I like to struggle, but I hate getting free. I want to pull at the ropes tight against my skin, but they should never, ever get loose & if they do… well, Daddy would be there to tighten them up for me, of course. 

modsmut:

(via nsfworld, ridingwild)

Therapy is risky because sometimes they'll just ask you their standard "why can't you, though", and you think you're making some good point by saying something like "well if I don't do anything with my life then what's the point of being alive in the first place" and your therapist gets that look on their face and you immediately realise that your dumb ass just got caught, pinned to the ground with your stupid-ass neck between the spikes of a pitchfork, and you are not going to wiggle out of there before you two unpack what the fuck you just said.

"Listen, I don’t want to say anything that might encourage people to write smutty gay fan fiction about me, but I prefer to top."

-Benedict Cumberbatch, sending mixed signals on Top Gear (via fyeahfreebatch)

ROFL! At least he's smart enough to know its gonna happen *and* to have an opinion on it.