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Ra's vs. The Evil Overlord List

or AKA Ra's finding the Evil Overlord List and making use of it to become a better and more devious overlord

So in my random rant my mind came up with idea and latched onto it's absolute high comedy potential so lemme just stash out all the wonderful wonderful scenarios my mind managed to come up with for Ra's to drive the bats mad

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. : The bats break into Ra 's throne room ready for a full fight, weapons ready, stances turned so they’re blocking each other's blind spots only... for Ra's to seem disgruntled instead of smug or outraged. They are only made aware of another presence when Ra's turns to the...playpen!?? next to his throne to address the toddler happily playing there by themselves "Tell me little one, were my plans and codes this terrible?" and they watch on with horrified fascination as the toddler goes on and points out the most ridiculous and childish points to be faulted with his plans that the bats made good use of to get here and to their stunned surprise Ra's doesn't go into a rage because his plans got ridiculed by a literal toddler but has a disgruntled but all the same pleased look on his face as if stunned his idea actually worked and addresses the child once again "Well done my little advisor, this great work calls for a reward of ice cream after dinner" as the toddler cheers joyfully swinging the toy held in their hands happily in the air, all the bats simultaneously check themselves for drugs finding no such a luck

142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches  into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil  Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids: Bruce in his full Batman regalia breaks down Ra's bedroom door only to find him holding... a toddler once again. Only this time the toddler seems to resemble both of them a bit too much for it to be a coincidence. Bruce is even more stunned when Ra's looks at him, face not giving anything away all the while his eyes gleam mischievously. Before Bruce could prepare himself for anything Ra's would throw his way Ra's opens his mouth "Well not like it is an unpleasant turn of events but what do I owe the pleasure of the great detective coming to visit me in person?" Bruce manages to snap back into the situation and growls out with a low threatening voice "Don't play coy with me Ra's. You know well enough what you did. Now you can come with me peacefully or we can do this the hard way" he says while preparing for the imminent showdown not expecting the following words coming out of his opponent’s mouth "Well great detective while don't you explain to my darling grandson why you would want to hurt his poor poor fragile grandfather" the shock of the words make his eyes snap to the small child held loosely in the immortal's arms looking at him with their big green eyes. Body locked, mind frozen he tries to bluster up an answer for the tiny innocent child's sake only for them to pull a string Bruce never paid mind to. The floor opens under them, and they fall, not having time to jump out of the way, only barely stopping themselves from landing in the water full of...crocodiles!? with a batarang stabbed into the stone walls. And still in the room little Damian let out an utterly happy and mildly feral but all the while blinding smile seeing his scheme work. He bounced in Ra's lap happily while he looked down indulgently. After all, this was his grandson's first successful scheme against his father. This is in order of a celebration. Maybe he could get his grandson some more crocodiles; he seemed to adore them immensely with their deadly beauty and fierce disposition, Ra’s mused as he walked off with his grandson buzzing in excitement held in his arms not sparing a thought for the man stuck in the hole, in the middle of his room, with a bunch of hungry predators.

158. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad: Tim steals a file labeled as one of Ra’s super-bad-if-it-actually-goes-trough plans only.. For it to be a copy of a hand written recipe of kabsa instead of the supposed plans of action. It’s a copy of Ra’s grandma’s  great recipe book. He watches in great enjoyment through the cameras as the realization sets in, saving the glorious moment with a well timed screenshot of the feed to be safely tucked away into his folder of epic bat fails.

when your crime lord son has glow in the dark eyes

Even more amused that Merthur is trending outside of Merlin or BBC Merlin.

Keep it up, Fandom!

Now let me help keep it going by posting about it trending 😉

titans tower

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:

In the JL interrogation room:

Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?

Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?

Justice league looking skeptical?

Red Hood: You can even monitor it.

Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.

Hands Hood a phone

Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?

Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?

Red Hood: You'll see.

Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.

Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?

Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!

Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?

Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.

Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.

Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?

Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.

Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.

Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?

Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?

Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.

Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.

can they invent a mobility aid that helps with the joint pain & also does NOT cause different joint pain in a different area from use

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

joining the bat fandom is so fun, you pick a robin and hold onto that thing for dear life

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly