My Body Isn't A Mf Temple, It's A Prison.

I'm so tired. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up

Because of my constant eating during binges and times where i simply was overeating my tooth enamel is completely damaged. And that can nor will never be restored.

My dentist straight up told me I have damaged it already so from now on if I don't stick with very strict, regular meals my teeth will be easily and quickly rittled with holes. But if I haven't been able to do that so far, no matter what. So now I'll just have teeth full of holes, feel constant pain and spend god knows how much trying to keep fixing em to escape atleast some of the pain. Just rip all my teeth out so I could not ruin them further and not chew at all.

I'm just feel sad and devastated. That shit by the age of 19. And for what? Nothing positive or anyhting of resemblance to even show for the years of straight up food addiction.

I feel like I'm one gained kg away from taking an hammer to my Jaw so I couldn't eat solid foods again.

Gotta hate it when the hunger gets so suffocating you just start to dryly sob.

For my next obsession, I think it would be better if it was mutual.

My brain is my biggest enemy. I'm randomly sitting in school, not even hungry and then out of a sudden BOOM!! An extremely strong urge to skip the rest of the school day to go and buy junk and then just spend my day eating. I can just feel common sense flowing out of my mind, but I must resist lol

He was sitting next to her again. I want to destroy her, but at the same time I want to become besties with her to manipulate her to make him hate her, but also get information abt him from her.

They're probs dating, I want to tear my own skin off.

Crying because of hunger <<<<

What the fuck is wrong with my brain. I met the ppl in my uni course yesterday, one girl caught my eye, we spoke once.....and now my brain is cutting to lowkey romantic fantasies about her.

Me and my mother went to see the fnaf movie. She is overall very much against horror, but she agreed to go with me for some reason. After I started to rant about my opinion, details and lore about the movie. And then suddenly she told me to stop and got really angry with me. She spit some things at me and told me she felt like she was gonna throw up. I know she just doesn't like horror, but it started something in me.

I rarely talk about things enthusiastically like that because I don't think anything that has to do with me or my interests is something that is worth for other to hear, especially for more than a sentence. It's so silly and stupid, I'm being too sensitive, but her being so angry at me sharing a piece of my real self really hurts.

Just majorly reminded myself how much I hate myself. How everything about me sucks. The way I look, the way I act, the way I think, things I enjoy or don't, my interests, my opinions, the way I view life etc etc. There is just nothing good amount me. And that's so jarring. How can a person be just so worthless, so ridiculously stupid. I wish there was just one thing good thing about me. Even something almost good will be appreciated. I'm so pathetic in a way I pity myself, it's not a empathetic pity, rather a disgusted one lol.