*GASP*

Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.

Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!

Steph: I don't have a dad

Jason: I don't have a mom

Dick: You guys have parents?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian:*teases Tim about something stupid*

Tim: Hey Jay, can you tell Damian that he's being illogical.

Jason: sure. DAMIAN, DON'T BE A DICK!

Dick: I resent that...

Okay, but like...

Jason loves to mess with his siblings. That not particularly unique, as most siblings love to annoy each other. Only difference is that Jason is a little shit. Most of his "jokes" involve property damage.

One time he put Tim’s laptop into jello (he watches the office, sue me). Tim loaded all his guns with jolly ranchers in return.

Damian’s katana has been mutilated by Jason several times. It's always washable, but annoying all the same. A perfect example of this is the 'Syrup Incident' in which Jason coated everyone’s favorite weapons in syrup. Dick's sparky sticks were actually damaged by that prank....

The only one who rivals Jason in property damge has got to be Steph. I mean, come one, it's Steph.

Guys, Don't leave yourself in these situations. Speak up, it doesn't make you weak or less of a man.

PSA from Blobby. Something we should talk about more ❤️

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

AITA for not killing my son’s murder?

I’m a well-off parent (36M). This story is about one of my children (15m), who I will call J for the sake of privacy.

One day J and I got into a particularly bad fight bc I accused him of murder. After this J went to search for his bio mom. However, due to reasons that will remain unspecified, my son died in a terrorist attack.

After finding J’s body, I decided to hunt down and kill my his murder. However by the time I found the man, my friend (34M) stopped me from taking his life.

Should I have gone through with it anyways? Should my son remained unavenged?

Edit: My new son believes I made the right choice.

Edit-Edit: GOOD NEWS: J IS ALIVE

Edit-Edit-Edit: BAD NEWS: HE IS NOT PLEASED WITH MY CHOICE.

Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit: Slit my J’s throat to stop him from killing his murder.

Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit: J’s coming over for brunch!

Were you the one who made the video of Donnie hugging Leo before bolting up to the kraang? I've been trying to find the video for ages and can't seem to find it 😭 (doesn't help the song is stuck in my head and isn't place it!!)

You mean this one? ',:)

Batfam Nerf War...

Nerf wars are supposed to be fun! Right?

Usually they are! Until you take a family full of child soldiers, emotional constipation, and trauma; give them toy guns and tell them to go.

You've doomed yourself from the beginning!

Of course no one started this intentionally. It was just supposed to be a... joke.

Jason started it.

Because of course he did!

Saw video of someone rigging a Nerf gun and said "Bitch, I can do better". Jason proceeded to create a Nerf gun that shot Nerf darts like paintball.

Now that he had a demon Nerf gun, he had to test it out. On Tim.

"He won't be THAT pissed off."

Famous fucking last words

Tim gets hit ONCE and then declares war.

Now, I don’t know if anyone knows this about Timothy Drake, but the man is a literal genius. Who decided to use his smarts to create something that would blow Jason’s "weapon of mass annoyance" out of the water.

This man build a custom Nerf gun. That fucker leaves bruises.

Tim then builds a team...

I'll write part two tomorrow!

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Jason: Pass me the blueberry jelly

Damian: *picks up jar and scoops the rest of the jelly out onto his eggs*

Damian: sorry, it's all gone

...

Jason: you little...