I'm Gonna Write About It Here Because I Have Honestly No Shame On This Account

He didn't bite hard enough the first time 😞

Go for it

Can someone like, take my organs I don't like the noises they make in my tummy

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

OH NO PEANUTS

seconds before distaster

when the kid your friend adopted is running your last nerve

and you just gotta

-grab them perhaps-

DOGDAY NO!!

Wahhhhh I’m getting so much good art today! Look at him! Look at Peanuts! He’s so sweet! So cute! So proud! Then HERE COMES THE HAND lolol

Reader: NOOOOO

I love love love it! Thank you for taking the time to make such a cute meme!!! I smooch!!

My mom: works really hard on dinner for Easter and is in a really good mood today

Me, choking down the ham she made so she won't feel bad (I hate ham):

Cutie patootie sneky

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

Are there any fictional characters you think you resemble, either in looks or personality?

Uhhhh.. so none that I can really think of off the top of my head. I look like a weird love child between Bradley Uppercrust lll and Edna from the Incredibles tho

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

@g0dwat3r get over here

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.

Holy badonkers??? It took me a long time to realize this was YOUR main idk why it slipped my mind- I am unsure if you followed me by mistake but if you didn't, hoooly carp that Is such an honor xD you are my first and only follower and if you did follow me by mistake it was still awesome to see in that moment when I saw the little "mutual" symbol and had an eternal "WHAAAAAT" moment

HEY HON!!

Wasn't by accident, I try to follow people back whenever I can!

Or- used to, whenever I started to get popular it became difficult

But I remember seeing you pop into my notifications and clicking follow back!!