I Feel Like A Whore. 

NightlyNoirVintage

Selfish

For every set of hands joined together, i lose a thread in the sweater of my soul

 I wish it was me. 

I don't want to wait. 

Though it seems selfish

I just want to be seen.

To be held.

To be loved.

Selfish.

She held you didn’t she?

Why can’t I?

I know why. 

I have let myself go.

Every breath puts me farther away.

I want what everyone else seems to have.

Is that so selfish?

To want what is guaranteed for so many?

I think so.

stupid

After all this time, I am still stuck.

I am still listening to your stupid playlist 

with your stupid songs

that only remind me of how stupid i was.

I can’t really remember why I used to think that caring for you was smart.

Was it because you were?

You answered every question,

but you couldn't describe why you wanted me.

Because you never did.  

WARNING!

Scraps from today

maybe i should just stop talking. i want all of my secrets back.

I can almost hear her say that

Door open in my room

Now I lie in my bed

my window is open wide

I don’t have to be outside to feel the cool breeze

I can hear so much

The wind

The birds

My dog’s breath

My pen on paper

Leaves rustling

Cars rushing by

My brother’s laughter

And the tapping of my own fingers

The sky is turning purple

With the purple comes comes a cloud of calm

And a gust of joy

I want it to stay this way

(Perfect temperature, perfect sounds, perfect peace)

Forever.