I Woke Up Around 11am Today And Felt Relieved Knowing My Doctor's Appointment Was Finally Scheduled For

04/01/2025

Today, I witnessed my growth. The same things no longer trigger the same reaction as I have learned to take a deep breath and trust in the process. I feel more in tune with myself, even though I did not get enough sleep the night before and the school day was long. Today feels like something finally shifted to the right direction, and I can hear my inner guidance clearly again. Today has been great so far =)

I think this is mostly thanks to my oracle card telling me to take "a day of silence." I haven't been alone with myself without music for a long time. I used to have evenings after work when I would unwind with chores and give myself time to process and express my inner thoughts. But grad school and living situations made it difficult. I didn't know how out of tune I have been with myself until I finally turned my thoughts and attention inwards today. It has been a wonderful experience so far. Awkward but meaningful.

Completed

✅ Group project 1 presentation 🎉

✅ School

✅ Part-time job

✅ Watch Kaichou wa Maid-Sama!

✅ Break time + nap

✅ Call my parents

✅ Dinner

✅ Watch Earl and Fairy

✅ Read and reply to school emails

✅ Group project 2 paper (1.5 hours)

To-Dos

Finished but I'm not too satisfied because I didn't get to finish more of the project paper than I had wanted. Guess it'll just need to happen tomorrow.

Trying to take it easy and not be so hard on myself today 🩵

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I have been overwhelmed lately with everything I realize I need to finish by the end of the semester, which is in 7 weeks. Sadly, my birthday is within the next 7 weeks, and I would hate to be stressed out on my birthday weekend. I was in a similar spot last year having to finish preparing for a presentation the night before my birthday. I wish it would've been different. And I so do not wish this fate upon myself again this year.

Another year, a better me.

It's time to change how I handle my schoolwork and life in general. No more hiding away or being frozen in place. I have to keep my eyes open no matter what comes my way and see it for what it is - a challenge I have been trained to overcome. It just gets a little scary when everything gets thrown at you at the same time.

Introductions ~ take two ~

Hello stranger! Glad you found me and I hope you get what you need from here (encouragement, inspiration, rant, etc.). If you don't find my content interesting, I hope you picked up some good vibes and have a wonderful day =)

Original Idea:

My initial idea for this blr was to keep track of my master's thesis writing progress. Unfortunately, within a week, I got injured in a car accident over the holidays and things are no longer the same.

Updated Content:

I decided today that this blr will now be a mesh of things. I will continue to post about my thesis writing progress while adding other studying stuff here (i.e., a studyblr). I will also talk about things I do in a psychology PhD program in the US (i.e., a phdblr). The part that I am most excited about to start posting here is my reflections and inspirations! I pick up on a lot of meaning and wisdom from daily life so I hope to share this with y'all and maybe help others who are struggling like me 🩵 (maybe I can call it a growthblr?) A random idea that popped up is to use this as my 2025 vision board! I have been having a hard time creating an entire vision board at the beginning of the year, so maybe this would be a place where I can add pictures and quotes that inspire me and lead me toward a new direction and be in flow this year =) (so exciting!!)

A Little About Me:

Nice to meet you, lovely humans! I am a PhD student in psychology, in my 20s, a dog mom, an astrology/tarot lover (I'm a ♉ sun), a couch potato during breaks, in my healing/spiritual journey, and have ADHD/depression.

I'm usually a private person, but I love sharing my inspirations and wisdom with others =) I hope that this will be a safe and non-judgmental space for all of us, and to be authentic while respecting each other.

Given that I am in a psychology program and I see clients, I do not plan to post anything identifiable here, including my real name. That means that unless you know me irl, you will not know the people I mentioned in this blr. If you have concerns about identifiable information of your own or someone you know being posted here, I strongly encourage you to reach out using the "AMA" button on this blr so I can correct my mistake.

Disclaimer: There is a chance that I will not consistently write here. If I have not been active for over a month, I might take longer to respond to posts and AMAs. That is just the nature of my life rn.

✨Sending lots of love and light ✨

04/09/2025

Started reading this Webtoon called "Ex-Love Review" and I couldn't stop until I can find the latest chapters. So I'm just gonna finish one task and head to bed...

Completed

✅ School ✅ Part-time job ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Quiz ✅ Dinner ✅ Read Ex-Love Review ✅ Clinic report results x2 (finished in 30 mins?? Amazing!!)

To-Dos

⏹️ Shower (I'm gonna shower in the morning, I promise 🤞🏻)

[End of day: 1:05am] Got more done than I expected, but I definitely neglected some things 😅 I think I'm starting to burn out, which is why I started reading on Webtoon to get a dopamine hit. Need to figure out how I can better rest and do schoolwork at the same time... Good night 🩵

03/25/2025

Tired school days pass by the quickest... Finally sitting in front of my laptop at 10pm to do more schoolwork (according to my planner), and once again, I wonder how my brain wandered off to a different space and time since 6pm.

Current mood 🙃:

Completed

✅ Doctor's appointment

✅ Classes

✅ Part-time job

✅ Food

✅ 30-min nap with my dog

✅ Randomly listened to an audiobook ad on YouTube for 1 hour...

✅ Clinic note

✅ New semester survey

✅ Check school email and reply

✅ Group project highlight

✅ Group paper section outline

To-Dos (still...)

⏹️ At least 1 hour of thesis writing

Venting: It's hard to not feel disappointed in myself for not working on any actual thesis writing in the past 2 days, especially when I keep telling myself that today is the day. I seriously just want my brain to not run away from my thesis because I feel like time is running out. I'm so exhausted both physically and mentally at this point that I just want to sleep for a whole day before doing anything. But I'm not sure if this is actually feasibly. I just feel so stuck in my brain right now that I just want to dump all my anxiety and fears out so my mind can shut up and do the actual work. Why is it so hard??? Ugh, and now I feel like I am not being kind to myself... But I really need to complain a bit. Life has been rough recently with school and it's not something that someone can solve for me.

04/16/2025

Another day, another log ✨ It actually feels nice to have this check-in every day to see how I'm doing mentally and academically. Still not sleeping a lot this week because I call this month the "finals month" of PhD... Have a lot to finish, still have new tasks that get added each week, and I'm not even sure how many full days I have to take a break from it all after this month and in summer =/ Not the best situation, but at least I still get to do some things I like in the meantime 🩵

Current mindset:

Completed

✅ School ✅ Case presentation (woohoo!) ✅ Part-time job ✅ See clients ✅ Get an oil change for my car! ✅ Get gas for weekend traveling ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Client plan ✅ Phone call with a friend ✅ Watch Everyone Loves Me ✅ Dinner ✅ Clinic notes x2

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report - results 6 part 2 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 7 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 8 or Thesis - bullet points ⏹️ Shower?

[End of study: 12:18am] I got frustrated with the cdrama so I ended up skipping through some episodes and stopped doing work for a bit... Ngl I'm getting tired so I think I'm gonna speed through one more episode and call it a night. Good night, lovely humans 🥱

3/1/2025 Day 1

I feel like yesterday wasn't that bad, so today should start pretty well too... Guess I was wrong / not as accurate as thought about my own behaviors.

I ended up waking up and checking social media, and it sent me down a spiral of starting this new online novel about werewolves and fated mates. They know me too well lol.

Now it's past 3pm and I have a long list of to-dos, combined with what I didn't get to yesterday. Will this kind of life ever end? Will I ever decide to not push away what I need to do right now and enjoy the instant gratification that causes me long-term despair?

03/29/2025

Ugh March is almost over, and it freaks me out😵‍💫 I feel like this is the first time I don't know exactly how things will go and how I can get through with all my work and wrap up my semester... Maybe I've been here before, but every semester is a blur at this point.

Take it one day at a time, one day at a time. I need to keep repeating this to myself so I don't feel so terrified of the unknown that I run away from everything. Anxiety and stress are no joke.

Anime atm 😍: Earl and Fairy

Completed

✅ Video call with a friend

✅ Breakfast

✅ Surprise party for friends

✅ Watch repair (it took me a year to take it somewhere to fix lol)

✅ Lunch

✅ 1 episode of anime

✅ Group project 1 paper

✅ Rewatch Skip Beat ep 19 (iykyk)

✅ Thesis (1 hours 😊) - I FINALLY DID IT!! SO PROUD!!

To-Dos

⏹️ Group project 2 paper

⏹️ Pay bills

I'm not letting myself go to bed unless I work on my thesis for 2 hours. My phone is locked away, so I know I can get it done. It really doesn't have to feel like a struggle every single day. I have finished harder things in the past 😤

Me with my thesis:

04/08/2025

Starting my studying at home at 10:32pm... It's ok, I'm just going to do my best until I let myself start getting ready to go to bed in an hour. I will need the sleep, and I cannot wait to rest because I have worked hard lately =)

Completed

✅ School ✅ Staff meeting (1.5 hours...) ✅ Part-time job ✅ Nap (2 hours 😮‍💨) ✅ Dinner/snack ✅ Clinic document (so proud! I've been procrastinating on this since Feb lol)

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report results 1 ⏹️ Clinic report results 2 ⏹️ Shower (I'll consider this in the morning 😅)

Kinda still feeling frustrated that my professor docked points because I have been getting to class late, but I literally have accommodations for that. I hope it's just that he forgot. I'll need to talk to him about it, and I'm not enthusiastic about it...

[End of study: 12:08am] Ok, I'm calling it a day because I don't want to push my sleep back any further. Good night, lovely humans 🩵