I Had The Most Surreal Experience Where In My Dream, Dream Me Fell Asleep (a Double Dream If You Will),

Sebastian and Shane accidently bump shoulders in town

Shane : Fuck off dude

Sebastian : No you fuck off

They start making out vigorously

local emo spotted outside. Scientists baffled🐸

Why'd you only call me when you're high?

Sebastian x Fem Farmer!

I am tryinggg to make it a slowburn but miserably failing tbh

Inspired by pajamakidz on tt and youtube

Read it on Ao3

Chapter 1

You spotted Sebastian smoking by the river, his tired eyes gazing out over the water with a dull glare. He was wearing a black tank top, his usual hoodie wrapped around his waist, and you fought the urge to stare as you passed by him. The uncharacteristic show of skin revealed the tattoos covering his right shoulder and back, intricate patterns and references you knew nothing about etched onto him in black ink. You’ve never seen him like this before, only hearing about the tattoos in passing from Abi when she talked about wanting some of her own, and it always made you curious. They were beautiful, illuminated by the summer sun mercilessly beating down on him, black against ivory skin. He blew out a plume of smoke, clearly deep in thought. You tried to pass quietly but the rustle of grass gave you away, Sebastian’s eyes slid to yours and silence hang between you for just a moment before he looked away, nibbling on his snakebites. While you have spoken to Sebastian a few times, you weren’t exactly friends, barely even acquaintances if you were being truthful, the only thread connecting you to him was your shallow friendship with Abigail.

You’ve been in Stardew Valley for a couple months now, spring had passed you by peacefully and ushered in the searing summer heat, though the season just started. Everyone in town was nice enough, welcoming you into the community with open arms, though sometimes you noticed slithers of tension between the townsfolk. Decades of secrets bubbling under the façade of perfect harmony, offhanded remarks that tipped you off to the unpleasant history the people here bore. It was certainly awkward when it happened, that small moment of resentment, you having to act like you haven’t noticed. Small town life was awfully different from the city.

Your favourite day of the week was Friday, when everyone gathered at the Stardrop Saloon. The bustling atmosphere was wonderful, and seeing the familiar faces of the residents was comforting after a long week. Nothing like this happened in the city, local bars and clubs gained and lost customers all the time, nothing stopped the city from speeding ahead and evolving into something unrecognizable every day. This was different, the customers were always the same, everyone knew each other by name, and life here was slow and steady. Fridays were the chance for you to catch up with everyone, and without fail it was always a constant in your schedule.

The thought of getting to go to the saloon this evening made you giddy; this week was particularly hard on you. The crops weren’t cooperating, and the animals were being difficult, it really took a lot of work to keep up with it all. You continued to trudge along, running all over town to finish up your errands before the evening, from Pierre’s shop to Clint’s to a favour for Penny, the tasks never ended. By the time you were finished, the sun hung low in the sky, getting ready for night. You ran home to drop off your ridiculously heavy bag then rushed back to the saloon.

You opened the door and were immediately hit with the sound of laughter, it put you at ease. Faces turned to look at you, and plenty of smiles were shone your way with casual waves here and there. You made a beeline to the bar, flashing a grin at Emily before ordering your usual fruity cocktail.

Emily took a glass from underneath the bar and started pouring your drink. “How has your week been?”

“Just the usual, though the animals are being fussy due to the weather, the heat isn’t to their tastes,” you laughed.

She nodded, sliding the drink over to you. “The weather has been quite nice today though, compared to later in the season!” You dreaded the thought of it getting even hotter.

Just like that, the idle chatter continued, people sliding in and out of the conversation for the better part of two hours, clinking glasses together and cracking jokes only the mild buzz of alcohol would facilitate.

You felt a pair of hands suddenly squeeze your shoulders before tugging you out of the crowd. It was Abi, a keen look in her eyes and cheeks rosy from a bit of booze. She dragged you to the more secluded arcade of the saloon, where Sam was once again losing a game to Sebastian.

“Seb, beat Sam faster so our dear farmer and I can play a game.”

This did earn a chuckle out of Sebastian, who then proceeded to finish the game swiftly, much to Sam’s dismay.

“You don’t even like pool Abi,” Sam huffed.

“And you can barely hit a ball after all these years,” Abi retorted, starting to set up a new game.

Before long the game was ready and Abi was holding a pool cue with as much triumph as she could muster, making joking remarks at Sam’s expense. It didn’t take long for you to realise Abi was as equally abysmal at pool as Sam. At first it baffled you, why would she want to play if she doesn’t know how? But then you saw her ploy, “Seb, can you help me? If I win, I’ll buy you a drink later!” She gave him a cheeky smile.

“Hold on! This is so unfair! You can’t make fun of me for being crap at pool then make doe eyes at the resident expert! This is tyranny Abigail.” But all Abi did was stick her tongue out at Sam.

Sebastian shrugged before getting up to give her instructions. She cosied up to him quickly, leaning against his chest and making intense eye contact, definitely spurred on by alcohol. You and Sam were kicked out to the couch, watching the whole scene unfold. Sebastian, unfortunately for Abi, seemed unfazed.

“So, how does it feel being used as a stepping stone for Abi’s private pool lessons?” Sam whispered over to you with a soft chuckle.

You sigh dramatically, “It’s ok, not the first time I’ve been exploited by a lovestruck girl, though she could’ve just asked him, or tried to ‘play’ against you.”

“Like I’d ever let that slide, she’s too pussy to ask directly anyway, can only use cheap tricks.” Sam sounded amused.

You snorted, “If she heard you, she’d chew you out.”

“Abi is too busy making googoo eyes at the town’s emo to even hear what I’m saying right now.”

Just as Sam finished his sentence, Abi finally managed to hit a ball, earning Sebastian an elated squeal from her.

“You know, you should hang out with us more often, not just Abi, unless you wanna kick it with the oldies that bad.” Sam now turned to you with a genuine smile, gently bumping your shoulder.

You didn’t know how to respond, joking around with Sam like this is certainly fun, and the thought of getting to do this more often did make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You ended up returning a bashful smile and responding with a soft “I’d like that.”

Another squeal erupted from Abigail as she celebrated her victory, making you and Sam turn back to where the game was being played. Sebastian had stepped away from her and watched as she tested out her new skills at the table. Sam laughed before elbowing your side, “You gonna join her now that she can play?” But you couldn’t respond, laughing instead at the sensation of Sam’s elbow on your ribs. You really hoped he wouldn’t realise how ticklish you are, but you’re unlucky.

“Holy shit, are you ticklish?”

You immediately blurt out a “No!” but it’s too late. Sam has caught on now and he instantly begins tickling you relentlessly, your neck, your sides, any skin he can get to while dodging your flailing arms. Your back hits the couch as you try to get away, but Sam just moves with you, determined to keep up this terrible torture method. You cannot stop laughing, to the point your stomach hurts and you can barely breathe, tears sliding down your cheeks, but Sam doesn’t give up until you’re squawking “Stop! Stop! Oh my god please I’ll pee myself I swear!” between gulping breaths. He finally stops, now laughing at the expense of your dignity. Amid the chaos, you have somehow ended up under him as he hovered over you, arms caging you in to hold himself up. You take this opportunity to kick him in the stomach, making him jump back and allowing you to scramble off the couch and escape.

You sheepishly look over to Abi and Sebastian. Abigail is gawking at the scene, clearly very entertained, Sebastian on the other hand is staring down Sam with a blank look, before catching your eye. His expression doesn’t change as you look at each other, his face forever unreadable. Abi pokes his stomach, catching his attention and says, “I’ll win this game for you teach.”

With that, she sets up another game, for real this time. As she does, Sam and Sebastian wander off to the bar, probably for more drinks. Abigail is now humming to herself, clearly elated at the way the night has turned out.

The alcohol is starting to get to your head. Earlier with the others you couldn’t quite get a buzz going and, in your attempt to kickstart the night, you clearly had too much too fast. As Abi prepares for her first shot, lining the pool cue up on the table, all you can think about is how giggly you feel and how pleasantly numb your face is. You really did not mean to get drunk today, but the little food you had earlier, Sam’s attack and those stupid fruity little drinks created a hell of a mix for your body.

You went over to the table to take your turn, savouring the satisfying sound of the billiard balls hitting each other. Abi hands you the pool cue and you lean down with a light thud over the table, the alcohol clearly affecting your motor skills. You run the cue past your fingers, sloppily hitting the ball which bounces around, hitting nothing. You hear a chorus of laughter behind you, the boys have returned with four drinks and were now watching you fail at pool alongside Abi, who was clearly starting to get a little more than tipsy too.

“For me?” You eye a deliciously red drink in Sam’s hand. He nods.

You swipe it away from him and take a long sip, grimacing at the strong taste. He must’ve asked for a double shot, how mischievous.

“Not up for the challenge?” Sam asked, clearly delighted with your expression. That was provocation enough and you happily took another swig before throwing him a smug grin. The four of you clink your glasses together and you start sipping on your drink, pacing yourself, it was definitely too strong for your tastes. You and Abi return to the game as Sam and Sebastian go to the seats to lounge about, murmuring amongst themselves about who knows what.

Time seems to go at an agonizingly crawling pace as Abi slowly beats you at pool. Each turn you both get more careless with your movements, the alcohol now hitting you full force. The pool cue really doesn’t want to listen to you, flying all over the place as you try your best to aim for the ball, giggling and leaning over the table, swinging your legs behind you, the game completely lost at this point. Your drink has been long finished, and whatever spirits were mixed into the sweet juices were doing wonderful things to your mood. Everyone else around you were equally merry, cracking jokes and making fun of your shit pool skills. The evening dragged on like this, the moon hitting a high point in the sky before you finally peaked at a clock and realised how late it was.

“Oh shit, I gotta go,” the words came out with a slight slur and an involuntary giggle. That prompted the trio to also look at the time, everyone collectively deciding they should go too.

Three hours had passed since Abi first pulled you away from the others at the saloon, and in that time you have definitely grown closer to Abi and Sam, Sebastian however still remained a mystery. Alcohol was a great social lubricant, but it was not a miracle cure, and this particular boy loved to keep to himself. The four of you wandered over to the door, lazily waving goodbye to everyone on your way out, doing your best to sober up.

As soon as you stepped outside, Abi fell down the saloon steps, so much for sobering up. Immediate laughter erupted among the group, fueled by the alcohol. Sam quickly helped her up, Abi herself struggling to stand as she hunched over, grabbing her stomach while giggling uncontrollably. She tried taking a few steps but couldn’t quite walk straight, leaning on Sam, who was also swaying all over the place. The scene earned a sigh out of Sebastian, who was surprisingly sober, or maybe good at acting sober? You didn’t know.

“I’ll get you guys home,” Sebastian said, “Abi first, she’s the drunkest…somehow.”

She did not drink that much, this is how you discovered she’s a lightweight, quite a cute trait if you were to say so yourself. The four of you shuffled across the plaza, not far from Pierre’s shop. As you got closer, Abi begun to clumsily sift through her pockets, looking for her keys. After a while she finally fished them out and unlocked her door. Not ten minutes later she was safely tucked in bed, and you were off to drop off Sam, who was giving you two an entire speech on his new song idea while almost tripping over his own feet. He was moving around so erratically you were sure he would topple. You had no idea how he managed to drink so much; it was quite a feat. After a few spins and skips across the plaza, which you may have joined in on, you were at his place, and he was stumbling inside with Sebastian at his side making sure he gets to bed alright.

And then it was just you and Sebastian alone.

“Well I better get going-“you began, fully intent on walking through the forest back to your farm.

“I’ll walk you.”

“Oh no, it’s alright, what could possibly happen to me here?”

“A lot.”

Sebastain started walking before you could get another word out, messing with his snake bites again, the metal catching the soft moonlight as it passed between his teeth. The two of you walked in silence, making your way into the woods, which have now gotten considerably dark. In any other forest you would’ve been terrified, but you knew this place like the back of your hand. The silence stretched into something uncomfortable, your drunken mind couldn’t take it, the bleary haze in your head fighting for a conversation topic. You made your way deeper in, passing towering trees and bunches of wildflowers, your arm brushing his as you tried to walk straighter than your feet allowed. You didn’t know if Sebastian felt the same, if the silence also felt awkward, if the subtle sensation of your arm brushing against his also sent little jolts through his skin, if he also focused on the way air escaped your lungs just as you focused on his. You didn’t understand the emotions that were coursing through you, you’ve met hundreds of emo boys back in the city with tattoos, and piercings and motorbikes, in that regard Sebastian wasn’t any different, and you didn’t know him well enough to distinguish him from them, so why were you feeling like this? It must be the alcohol, the feeling of a man walking next to you a bit too closely and the remnants of laughter that followed you from the saloon were messing with your emotions.

The air was chilly now that the moon was out, and the wind that whistled past caused a shiver to run through you, it made you wish you had more layers on. Sebastian must’ve noticed because before your brain could even catch up with you, he had draped his hoodie over your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you muttered.

“No problem.”

A few beats of silence passed before he asked, “You smoke?”

“Sometimes.”

He stopped in his tracks and fumbled around in his pockets before pulling out two cigarettes and a lighter, pressing one of the cigarettes to his lips and setting it ablaze before offering the other to you. You took them, placing the cigarette to your lips before trying to get the lighter to turn on but after a few futile moments it was clear the thing was newly dead.

“Well shit,” he mumbled before leaning in closer to you, grabbing the lighter from your hands, “Can I?”

You weren’t sure what he was asking but you nodded anyway. Sebastian leaned down, eyes closed and touched the end of his cigarette to yours. Your heart started hammering at the proximity, never having been so close to him before, your eyes couldn’t help but stare at his features, the milky skin, the tiny mole on his left eyelid, his slightly chapped lips. The breath was stuck in your throat, you’ve never been so grateful for your bad habits before. Your own cigarette lit up and you inhaled softly, taking in the nicotine. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered open, and he looked straight up into yours before pulling away.

“There ya go,” he said it so casually you were almost dumbfounded.

You stayed silent for just a moment before letting out a soft, “Thanks.”

“S’alright.”

His face was barely illuminated by the cigarette, but you could see the way he looked at you, it was intense, and made you look away, focusing on the grass instead. He took a drag of his cigarette, breathing out a cloud as he talked, “Smoking is a bad habit y’know,” a playful smile on his lips.

You snorted, “look who’s talking.”

“I’m a lost cause.”

“Excuses.”

You could feel his eyes follow your movements as you fidgeted with his hoodie. He breathed out another plume, leaning down towards you. “If I quit smoking, who else would you stare at as you walk by?” he was teasing now, the smell of alcohol heavy on his tongue. “You aren’t subtle.”

“I’m just looking at my surroundings!” you sputtered.

“Sure.”

You never realised you stared so often, unsure of what to think of the news.

He began a slow walk towards the farm, making sure you’re following along. You stumbled after him, your stomach now starting to feel queasy and your head much too light for your own good. The nicotine of the cigarette you were puffing away at eased your senses and you focused on getting home in one piece. The silence was much more comfortable now, maybe alcohol is a miracle cure after all.

Before long, the farm came into view and you staggered into it, wading past tall grass and large rocks to finally make it onto your front porch, Sebastian following closely behind. You looked for your keys, leaning on your front door for support, your body struggling to keep upright now that your bed was so close by. When you finally got a hold of them and managed to open your door, Sebastian escorted you straight into bed which you collapsed into it immediately, nodding off. You barely registered Sebastian’s soft goodnight as he walked away.

the lord, the head guard

originally painting inspo from frank dicksee, la belle dame sans merci

What I had left here, I just held it tight, So someone with your eyes, Might come in time.

I still think about the aphmau fic I wrote when I was 13, it got 10k hits, I never finished it and one of the commentors said if I don't update she will rip her hair out, I will never relive those glory days, and I never did update it

:v

To be cringe is to be free

I write and read fanfic and do other stuff too I guess

AO3 <- all my fics reside here

Why'd you only call me when you're high? (Seb x Fem Reader Stradew Valley) Chapter 1

"Polyamory really would've saved them all a lot of heartbreak-" i completely agree, here's a 2 month old garrancemau sketch i have in my ibis🫶🙏

Oh the girls are fighting…🙁🙁

This was supposed to be a warm up but I got really carried away and got locked into rendering and color practice 😭😭😭