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the parent trap — levi ackerman (vii)

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au | the parent trap au)

— warnings: mentions of cheating, fluff and the bittersweet feeling of meeting someone again <3

— summary: you four are together again.

— word count: 9.7k :>>>

— author’s notes: hello !! it's been a while since i picked up this series and i'm so excited to post this chapter djebdej this was so sweet to write and i hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i loved writing it !! happy reading, beautiful people <3

the song caelum is singing is linked here

my masterlist

“When I find him, I’m going to castrate the bloody hell out of that bastard,” Hange murmured lowly, voice dark as their intention towards your brown-haired fiancé. Their grip on the glass of beer tightened at the image of him molesting you in the elevator. Once again, they gulped down a mouthful of their drink before placing it back on the table with a slam. They planted their brown eyes over your figure, sitting beside them with fingers wringing on your lap. With a pursed expression, Hange placed their free hand over yours, rubbing their thumb over the back of your hand. Their voice is gentle when they said, “Don’t stop me, danseuse. I’m ready to kill someone tonight. Oluo will even help me hide the body.”

You shook your head with a light laugh, cupping Hange’s hand with both of yours. A lock of your hair fell over your face, your fingers immediately putting it behind your ear with a sniff. After you got out of the elevator, you instantly looked around the lobby of the hotel, searching for that familiar shade of black that you adored. There were instances that you saw someone with the same haircut, only for them to give you looks of bewilderment when you called out a different name. This has been on an ongoing loop for the past thirty minutes and your stomach grumbled, never giving up the opportunity of finding your ex-husband again. That was when Hange found you. They told you that Oluo phoned them, informing them of your current situation. Upon seeing your best friend, your tears once again trickled down your cheeks. It disgusted you as you were relying on what happened in the elevator but Hange needed to know, they were your confidante after all. Now, the two of you were seated inside the hotel’s restaurant for the lunch that was first reserved for five, now dwindled to two.

“Please don’t resort to murder, Hange,” you breathed, daintily picking the cup of rose tea on the table and sipping on in with a satisfied hum. It reminded you of the time Levi made you that rose tea so many years ago. It was so similar in taste that it brought you to a road of nostalgia. You placed the cup on the saucer before glancing at your pouting friend. “I don’t think I could get you out of jail if you committed it. And I miss that nickname — it brings me back.”

“Well, I guess murder is out of the question,” the brown-haired person muttered. Then, they grinned at your last statement. “This nickname will always be eternal. It was how I first knew you after all. Oh, to bring back those times when watching you dance was the highlight of my day.”

You smiled wistfully, twirling your pasta on your fork. “Do you remember that time I lied to my parents about having a study group on the campus during 8th year?”

Hange brightened at the memory. “How could I ever forget that? You appeared at our front door with the school’s full uniform on. Even the assigned beret hat!” They pointed at you before sharing a laugh with you. They hummed with nostalgia glazing their eyes. “When we went to the beach that time, I was so happy. Even if we rode the coach for more than an hour, it was so worth it. I couldn’t forget the look on the conductor’s face! He looked ready to ask about our parents.” They leaned their head on your shoulder, breathing in your scent that appeared like blossoms around their senses. “I want to be a kid again and go to beaches with you in secret. I still have that rock you found,” they looked up at you and the sight of your soft smile sent Hange’s heart in a whirlwind, “you know, that one with the iridescent shine.”

(The memoir played like a highlight reel.

You were supposed to be preparing for one of the galas your family funded — hair styled the way your mother wanted and a dress showing your status among the elites in England, but here you are, standing in front of your friend’s front door, hoping to God that it wasn’t their parents who will be answering your doorbell-ringing. You fiddled with your fingers in front of your knee-length skirt, ducking every time a car honked behind you, in fear of them knowing your identity. The best you could disguise your features with is the pair of glasses you stole from your grandfather’s study. It was too round but you still wore them nonetheless. When Hange ushered you inside their empty house (their parents were off to a business trip overseas), you relayed that you lied to your parents that some of your classmates invited you to a study group, thus, the uniform. You included Hange in your list of classmates, of course.

They laughed while eating their treasured butter cookies, which led to them having a minor choking fit that made you scramble for a glass of juice in the refrigerator.

As Hange started recovering from getting her breath taken away by the sugary goodness, you told them that you needed to escape for a moment because your house was starting to feel suffocating. That was when Hange presented the idea of spontaneously roaming around London for the whole day. They promised you that no harm will come to you as long as they’re around. You nearly doubted this because Hange is a person who attracts danger and disaster, making them one of the clumsiest people you ever knew.

“Why are you looking at me like that, danseuse? I’m fully capable of taking care of you! When have I ever get you in trouble?”

They’ve got a point and so begins your little rendezvous with Hange Zoe — trying out random restaurants, going to carnivals around the city, and eventually finding refuge in the sandy beach an hour away from London.

You never stepped foot on a beach ever since you were a toddler. The cries of the seagulls and the splashing of the waves against the rock formations nearby sent you in a sense of calmness, something that you never experienced for years of being under pressure. Your blazer, shoes, and socks were immediately thrown over the patch of grass by the sand, with you running towards the line where the sand meets the cold waters. Without any second thought, you ran until the water reached the middle of your calves, and the sound of splashing flitting your ears that signified Hange was not too far behind. Their laughs made you giggle into the sea breeze. The smell of salt invaded your senses and you let it engulf you in a temporary shield of exhilaration. Every single thing you saw at the beach embedded itself in your mind, in hopes that it would last for an eternity. You didn’t notice how Hange admired you a few feet away, the latter happy that you finally looked peaceful — very different from the usual blank, doll face you lived up to in your academy.

For the first time, you finally felt free.)

You placed your head against Hange’s, your lunch was forgotten as you basked in the never-ending comfort your best friend gave you. “I remember,” you laughed. “You nearly threw a tiny wobbler when you lost it in our flat here. Oluo was so scared of you for the first time. Good thing we found it inside your pocket in one of your pants or else you’re ready to plan another trip to a nearby beach just to find a replica. I couldn’t blame you, though, it is a pretty rock.”

“It really is! You even designed something from it!”

“Well, the colors gave me inspiration.” You patted your best friend’s head to get back to your lunch, with them complying, turning to their own food. While chewing on your pasta, an image of a hectic room came into your mind, with some of your previous employees scampering to get the right color of garments or to get a copy of the client’s measurements. What you couldn’t forget was the little toddler swinging their chubby legs over their high chair, silver eyes fixated on you like you were every role in his life. His babbles and incoherent statements made your work lighter even though he was taking up space in your then small studio. He was pointing at small trinkets, handing them to you as a way of helping. You unconsciously smiled at the memory. “Caelum was watching me stress over that dress. It was an ugly sight but he made everything better.”

Hange found themselves smiling, seeing as they were the one who brought him to your studio since they had an impromptu conference for the whole day. “You were so great at raising him, [Name]. You have every right to fight against putting him in adoption. Your parents are just trying to get on your nerves like always but they took it too far this time. I wish they saw how you sometimes put aside your schedule for the bridal shop because you couldn’t bear the thought of Caelum having days without his mother.” Hange put their hand on your back. “We just have to prove to them that Lucas is a cheating arsehole and they will start questioning their bullshit. You are a successful woman, [Name], and just a little bit more, your parents will start to realize that you can stand your ground.”

“I know, Hange. Once we get back to London, I’m going to talk to them about the proposal with Lucas and their plans for Caelum. I’m tired of them taking away every treasure I have in my life. But if they still can’t be swayed after breaking off the engagement…”

“… What are we going to do if that happens?”

You glanced at them with a small grin, the image of a pale-faced Levi flickering in your mind. What a small world. “We’re in California, right?”

Hange stared at you confused. “What do you mean, [Name]?” Then, with a glimpse of your knowing smile, they gasped --- both hands covering their mouth. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’re going to do the most impossible thing you told me once we got back to London all those years ago.”

“I know I never really ventured into this topic deeper because it still hurts and I regret not telling Caelum about his father more but,” you trailed off, running your fingers on the ring you took out of your necklace, the diamonds beckoning you for some reason, “I think it’s about time I face Levi. If my parents wanted me to get married so that Caelum can grow up with a father to rely on, I might just do it but with someone I’m still very much in love with after all these years. I will do everything to have Caelum stay in our little family — even if it meant pushing aside the bitterness I felt when Levi didn’t take that step forward to keep our family intact. If it means waking up to Caelum’s laughter every morning, I’d get back with Levi.” You shrugged lightheartedly. “Maybe everything will be alright this time around. I don’t know why but I have a feeling it will go well.”

Hange was silent, their body vibrating with pride and anticipation. This was supposedly the most impossible thing that could happen to you — getting back with Levi. Altair told them that during this small vacation in California, Levi will be here as well, to switch him and his twin to the rightful parent alongside another surprise that will be revealed soon. The brown-haired person was also in the dark about the latter but they have an idea that Altair was planning on setting you and Levi up. Maybe this will push the twins’ wishes to come true.

“Let’s go find Altair, Hange. I want to bring him to the butterfly garden.”

Your best friend blinked once, gaped the next second, and gasped once they realized what you said. They stood up from their seat, with you holding back your laugh. All this time, you knew? Questions such as that ran through Hange’s mind. “[Name], you knew?!”

“No, I just noticed it earlier in the lobby while waiting for you and Oluo. I know that he’s Altair but I have no clue as to why he got himself into this situation. If you have any idea of what starlight is planning, please tell me, Hange. I don’t want him to do anything reckless.”

“But how did you know? Did sweet pea tell you?”

You pointed at them with a small smile. “First of all, your new nickname for Caelum made me curious. You never once changed it no matter how many nicknames appealed to you, calling him your little bean since it sounds adorable. Second, there are things that he was doing that will be considered separate from Caelum’s usual — his appetite and even how he dresses, too. He told me Caelum’s suits felt like they were choking him. Third,” you paused, fiddling with the ring you slid in your right ring finger, “his eyes are so much like Levi’s. The way he stares at me reminded me of his father. The last reason is probably his hugs — Caelum doesn’t hug me as he saw me for the first time at every embrace. Since Altair stayed with us after the summer camp, his hugs are speaking to me to never let him go.” You looked at Hange, who was grinning with stars in their eyes. “Call it a mother’s instinct.”

Hange looped their arm with yours, leading you out of the restaurant and into the hallway. “So, are you going to tell him you know?”

You nodded. “Once we find him. I have a gut feeling that he’s with Levi right now.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right—wait, what?!”

“I know Altair told you about this, Hange, don’t play pretend.” A small breathy laugh came out of your lips, apologetically glancing at your best friend. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything. If so, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect him to be in this hotel.”

“You know what?” Hange’s lips pulled in a half-smile. “This is perfect! You’re not doubting your decision of letting him in again, right?” At your slow nod, they vibrated with excitement, pulling you outside to search for your ex-husband and children. “Then, let’s go bring you four back together right this moment!”

The tune of Suis-moi trickled like dewdrops from Caelum as he strolled down the hallways. His hands were balled inside the pockets of his jacket, his silver irises appreciating the flower arrangements and color palette the hotel boasts. He was already anticipating a new wedding gown, knowing how you always got inspiration from ethereal architectures in your trips like this huge building. It would be nice if you could enjoy this vacation before going back to your routine of sleepless nights and ringing phones from clients all over the world. Once this plan becomes a success through the end, Caelum was ready to help you around the studio, picking the fabrics and manning the other sewing machine. At the thought, Caelum smiled a little, the song he was singing resonated with every measured step towards the elevator at the end of the hallway.

Caelum couldn’t help but unconsciously sing this little tune since it was the first song he learned when you took him to Paris, making him remember the sweets he tried with you and all the dresses you designed on your sketchbook while strolling on the streets. All his reminiscing of that trip when he was six and all the many getaways you two did in the city of light and love made him miss you. Caelum enjoyed his time with his father (that’s already a given) but he also craved the gentle demeanor you always have whenever he was around, how you cradled his face in your hands like he was the most delicate thing. His expression fell, the song coming to a halt, the moment he remembered what Oluo said during their small gathering in that hotel suite — that you were never a great mother for him. Caelum felt the anger bubbling in his stomach, his dislike for his grandparents growing by the minute.

I love you to the moon and back, past the furthest galaxy, and beyond.

Those were your words every single time you tuck him in, after gallant adventures and tales of magic that your voice carried straight to his heart and memory. Everything that he is now was because of you — how you taught him that love can come in all forms or how you told him that you will always be proud of him no matter what. Whoever said you were a bad mother to him didn’t know the sacrifices you went through just to make Caelum happy. From what Levi told him, you always put everyone’s best wishes before you.

The lift dinged, signaling the little boy that he reached his destination, with his thoughts pausing as he went out of the doors. While casually humming Suis-moi again under his breath, a thought came into Caelum’s mind.

If you ever plan on marrying Levi again, Caelum hoped it’s because, at some point in this trip, you realized that you still love Levi. Not because you felt the obligation to do it to stop the engagement with Lucas or the adoption. That is the one thing that he and Altair discussed privately while eating dessert earlier — make sure that if you meet Levi again, everything should feel genuine instead of the forced enthusiasm you exhibited with Lucas.

Then, a tall person bumped into Caelum, sending him backward from the impact. He felt his bottom blossom with pain, a shaky, “Ow,” coming out of his mouth. The boy’s eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the person he bumped into, only to come face to face with a sneer on a somewhat presentable brown-haired man. The tall man was handsome, someone who could make some people swoon with just a smile, but his attractiveness ended with the scowl he threw at Caelum. As if the boy was a pest wriggling under his stare. It unnerved Caelum, choosing to glare at the stranger for the next few minutes before standing up on his own. The man didn’t even check his condition after toppling him with his overbearing gait. The boy patted his jeans and shirt, directing a jaded look at the man before him. When he opened his mouth to tell the older man to watch where he was going, he was beaten by the most arrogant, posh voice he ever heard in his life.

(More than his grandmother, and that’s saying something.)

“Have you seen your mother?”

Now, this is curious, Caelum thought, before speaking with a British accent, “What? Are you talking to me?” He looked behind him to check if there were people behind him that could possibly be the acquaintance of this man but there was no one to be found. Caelum turned back to the stranger and took a step back, lifting his head a little bit with scrutinizing eyes.

“Who else is here, Your Highness? Of course, I’m talking to you.” The man continued saying his words as if he was talking to a toddler and it made Caelum’s left eye twitch. “Or are you now adapting to this new thing of not letting commoners breathe next to you?”

“What—?” The gray-eyed boy muttered before shaking his head lightly. Words from his twin of the man you’re engaged with flashed like stoplights in his mind. A brown-haired man (“I won’t accept his attractiveness,” Altair grumbled.), taller than Oluo, calls ‘Caelum’ Your Highness — bingo. A hauntingly faux smile appeared on Caelum’s face, one that was reserved when strangers fuss over him at galas. He started running his eyes over the man’s features, getting a gist of how he carried himself, from the styled hair down to the tips of his dress shoes. This man would be an idiot to not pick up how mocking Caelum’s smile was. “Lucas,” the onyx-haired boy thoughtfully grinned.

Lucas curled his lips in disgust. “Why are you gawking at me like that? Have you finally stopped being the little demon that you are? Don’t tell me you’re going to be nice to me all of a sudden.” He walked past Caelum, tilting his head to the side to let the boy hear his next words. “If you see your mother, tell her I’m not going to be sleeping in the hotel tonight. But I’ll be coming back here in the morning to change my clothes so also tell Oluo to unlock the door by eight o’clock.” He faced the front with a blank face. “I’m going to let her have a piece of my mind when I feel like talking to her, though,” Lucas murmured for himself, careful to not let Caelum hear it. With that, he slithered out of the lobby and towards a waiting leggy, bare-backed, and youthful brunette that looked awfully familiar to the young boy.

Caelum stared at the retreating man, never taking his eyes off Lucas and the woman as he took out his phone from the pocket of his jacket. Unlocking the device with a glance, he clicked a number and pressed the screen on his ear. “Hello, Al?”

“Cae! You called early. Is everything alright?”

“I saw him.”

“Wait, who? Luke?”

Caelum nodded. He quickly realized that Altair couldn’t see him if he wordlessly answered but once he was taking a breath to say something, his twin was already talking.

“So, you saw him, huh? What do you think of him?”

That elicited a scoff from the younger twin. He ruffled his hair until they were slightly becoming the wavy locks he had before his haircut. “He called me ‘Your Highness’ as you anticipated.” Caelum laughed lowly at how bad that nickname sounded. He was perfectly fine with ‘little prince’ but being called ‘Your Highness’ takes the cake. “What a dimwitted individual. I’m actually surprised grandmother thought it was a good idea to pair up Mum with him. Aside from his family’s bank account, which is enormous, I’m sure, he doesn’t have any redeeming qualities that would look nice on the papers. I don’t like him at all, Al, he sounds funny when he speaks. Even grandmother doesn’t speak like that.”

Altair laughed through the other end of the call. “Something like this?” The older twin then deepened his voice with an exaggerated imitation of Lucas’s haughty tone. “Darling? Is everything alright? Surely my handsomeness could save your dreadful day! Why don’t we go on a vacation to relax and unwind, huh? I hope your more handsome ex-husband isn’t staying in the same hotel as us. I fear you will leave me behind for him, darling!”

Caelum giggled alongside his brother, vividly getting the image of Altair bowing in an extra manner in his side of the call with Levi looking at him as if he’s gone bonkers. “He does sound like that! I’m worried that people might misinterpret him every time he opens his mouth.” Caelum stopped laughing, remembering that he was supposed to report something to Altair. “Hey, Al, I forgot to mention that Luke was walking out of the hotel with a brown-haired woman. I swear I’ve seen her somewhere but I’m not too sure when. Oh, and he said that he’ll be sleeping outside of the hotel but he’ll be coming back in the morning to change. I think that’s the perfect time to start the next phase of the plan.”

“Ha, we hit the jackpot! Luke-boy doesn’t know what hit him this time. Are you okay with tagging along tomorrow, though? I don’t want you getting tired while roaming the city.”

“Yeah, I’ll be with you every step of the way. This will be a great experience to get to know a new place while I’m here. Wait, where are you right now?”

“I’m helping Petra set up things by the pool. Hurry over! The drinks will be watered down if you come here later than ten minutes. I hope you’re feeling alright after your walk. Oh, here are the cakes, Petra. Captain, sit! Damn, can he not cling to me when I’m bringing the drinks here? Uh, you still there, Cae? Do you want me to come to get you? Just tell me where you are.”

Caelum breathed a laugh. “No, it’s alright. I’m heading to the pool right now. Do you still have some strawberry shortcake?”

“Of course! You like this, right? Captain, for fuck’s sake, sit down! Here, take this cookie! Just stop begging me to play. Your hair is sticking to my clothes and I don’t like it when you keep doing that. I just changed, too!”

“Captain sounds lively, huh?”

“Come over here and help me calm him down please.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The hotel offered the kind of escape Levi wanted to have since he started becoming busy with the tea plantation and teahouse. Children were running around and adults eating in the hotel restaurant and for some reason, none of it irritated Levi. For a person who preferred solitude more than social interaction, he was walking down the hallways with no problem at all. The so-called meeting in his suite proved to be one of the most stressful gatherings he ever took part in. He always knew that your parents were the reason why you ran to America and he got the gist that they weren’t the best people to introduce him to, but knowing that they were trying to put Caelum to adoption just to get you to stay in line made Levi livid. Courting you again sounded like the perfect thing that can pull you out of your parents’ watchful eyes for good. Altair said that getting back with you was one of the best routes (Levi had no fucking clue what he meant by that, Caelum had to tell him it was gaming jargon) because that would mean you will have someone to help raise the twins other than Hange and Oluo.

The only problem was that you might turn him down in the next second. He hoped not.

Levi saw how your face revealed a brief flash of relief when you saw him. That little detail was the epitome of hope he desperately clung to when he came to terms that he still loves you so much. The flowers dotting the hotel poolside couldn’t compare to the bouquet flourishing inside him at the thought of you. All of them were flowers he dedicated to you – flowers he made into teas. He smiled at the memory of you gushing about having a flower garden full of your favorite blossoms. He didn’t like it when somebody talked his ear off but when it came to you, God, it’s always you, he was ready to lend his ears to your stories, no matter how trivial they were. Your voice alone compelled him to listen more – it was like a songbird marking the dawn every day. He could listen to you talk all night long until he found himself sleeping soundly in your arms.

The day seemed to glisten even more when Levi continued walking down memory lane. The sound of kids cheering by the pool became your laughter when you pulled him out of his house a year after you graduated from college, the rain creating a curtain around you. His mother was looking out the window (smile lovingly directed at you two) while the both of you danced in the rain, Levi twirling you with a firm hand around yours. The splash from the waters just outside the hallway he was walking on turned into sounds of throwing cookie batters and icing in the kitchen of your shared apartment. It started with Levi booping your nose with an icing-covered finger. You retaliated by scooping the cookie batter and wiped it down Levi’s face. The summer Sun dulled and became the night sky, stargazing and picking the brightest stars for you.

Altair.

“That’s a nice name.” He remembered turning to you.

Your eyes held the universe as you looked up at him. Soft smiles were exchanged. “Yeah, it is.”

“We’re expecting twins, right?”

You hummed, gliding your pointer finger over the expanse of Levi’s chest, drawing out a random constellation mindlessly. You felt your stomach flutter at his words. Twins, who would’ve thought.

“Caelum.”

It made you stop at first and then you were looking at a starlike gaze hovering over you. Levi was now using his elbow to support himself, looking straight down into your wide eyes.

“How about naming the other twin Caelum?” Levi ducked down to rub his nose against yours. He still felt how that contact clenched his heart. It was so soft that he wanted to turn back time to do it to you every time you wake up in his arms. “I read that name somewhere and I thought it has a nice ring to it. Altair and Caelum.”

Levi closed his eyes at the ghost of a touch you left on his cheek. “Our little heaven and starlight.”

“Our little heaven and starlight.”

Pulchritudinous was the word he could describe you any time of the day and that night wasn’t an exception. Your beauty rivals that of the goddesses and nymphs Levi learned from his mother’s bedtime stories. It was both a breathtaking and heartbreaking beauty, now that Levi thought about it. Every moment spent with you took his breath away but now that he never saw your face in the kitchen or the patio of the Ackerman manor, your face appearing in his head sent a pang of welcoming pain that he was used to. If only he took that step forward and pulled on your arm, stressed how much he loves you as he prevented you from getting out of the estate with a tight embrace, you would be here looking at him like he was the embodiment of euphoria.

As if the memories connected with the present and resonated with his wishes, you’re here.

Seeing you at the elevators only gave Levi a glimpse of your face. But now that you’re standing at the other side of the pool, gaze searching for something, someone, he felt everything all at once – and when your pretty irises met with his, the Sun and the Moon finally stopped their game of hide-and-seek and longed for an eclipse. Without a single word and gray eyes still locked on yours, Levi approached you with measured steps, fists clenching and unclenching by his side.

He feels his heart pounding to his ears, his hands becoming clammy, his breathing ragged.

Until everything stopped when you’re finally two feet away from him.

A shaky breath came out of you. “Levi.”

Wide eyes took you in, your elegance never deterring through the years. With soft eyes, he ran his adoring stare from the way the wind rustled your hair, down to how your dress’s strap dropped on one shoulder, to your hand fiddling with the ring you never threw back at him when you separated, and back to your watery smile. He reached out without thinking about it and gently grasped the strap of your dress, placing it back to its rightful place on your shoulder, and his touch lingering on your skin as if you were a flickering mirage in front of him. He stepped closer to you until only a foot separated you two. You were so close that Levi could see the stars inside your eyes – some of them escaping, clinging to your eyelashes. He was so scared that you would turn away but he didn’t give a damn about it. A tentative hand brushed against your cheek, never knowing that his voice created such an impact on you, “[Name].” It came out as a whisper but he knew it still reached you. “Hi, beautiful.”

You placed your hand over his and leaned into his palm. “Hi, Levi.” He looked the same as the person who stared at you too much during lunch in the university cafeteria. His stare was still arresting, telling you to never look away from him. There were little changes here and there like his build and height (you noted he grew a couple of inches since you last saw him) but he was still your Levi – the Levi you fell in love with all these years. You laughed, tightening your grip on his hand. “I—T-This is too much of a coincidence. You’re here while we’re on a vacation…”

A thoughtful pause made you look away from him.

“No,” Levi murmured, tilting your head until you once again stared at him. “Just look at me, alright?” His thumb caressed the apple of your cheek and it made your heart clench.

You nodded before clearing your throat. “As I said, you being here in this hotel is … it’s like you know we’ll be here. Why?”

Levi glanced at something behind him, a slight smirk and a spark of mischief lighting up his eyes.

You followed his gaze and your breath hitched at the onyx-haired boy peeking from behind Levi. He fiddled with the hem of his beach shirt while flashing a small, innocent smile at you. You returned the smile, looking at Levi for a second before kneeling in front of your son. His wide eyes still trained on your beautiful face, gulping down saliva because of anticipation. “Hello, starlight.” You saw Levi perk up at your peripheral vision. “I hope you enjoyed your time with me even if it was just for a short while.”

Altair’s lips parted in surprise, clenching his fists tightly to not let the tears drop down on his cheeks. He looked up to prevent himself from crying but his quivering lip said it all. Gentle hands cupped his face, your patient expression nearly breaking him if not for the control he has over sobbing loudly in the middle of a five-star hotel’s large pool. That would be embarrassing. “H-Hey, Mom. Please don’t be angry at Caelum, it’s my idea to switch places. I know it’s reckless but I just wanted to m-meet you and Cae wanted to meet D-Dad.” Levi tenderly ran his hand through his eldest son’s hair to comfort him but it looked like that was the last straw for the tear to drip down his cheek. “I just wanted to see you, Mommy,” he repeated.

“Oh, starlight,” you whispered once you saw him hastily wipe the tears from his face.

You pulled him in a hug, Altair’s soft cries muffled by your shoulder. His arms wrapped around your back as his cries turned into sobs. “Shh. I’m not angry.” You kissed the side of your son’s head, inhaling his scent and swaying him lightly from side to side. You cupped a hand on his cheek and lifted his head from your shoulder, admiring Altair up close. It was something you wanted to see ever since he was born — him growing up into someone kind yet adventurous, mischievous yet empathetic — a treasure all the same. Placing your forehead against his, you rubbed the tip of your nose on his. “I love you far beyond I can express to be mad at you. I wished every night to hold you and because of your idea, I got to do it. The worst part is, I didn’t even know it was you who came home until earlier when you looked at my drawing. The last time I saw you, you were raising your adorable hands at me because you always preferred me over your father.”

Levi snorted beside you two.

“He couldn’t sing to calm you down; much less be less awkward with a crying baby.” Altair giggled with you before you kissed him on the forehead and wiping his tears with a handkerchief from your handbag. “You’re grown up now. It feels so surreal seeing you like this.” You then looked around the pool area. “If you’re here, where’s—”

“I’m here, Mum.”

That voice made you look over at the peeking boy on the other side of Levi. His hair was the same as Levi’s and Altair’s, however, his wavy locks were starting to show above his undercut. A small breathy laugh was your reply, beckoning him towards you. You saw Levi rub his shoulders, flashing a knowing smile at you, and making you shake your head. Caelum walked with both hands behind his back, rocking on his heels when he reached you. There were remnants of icing on his upper lip. It made you realize that you miss him after knowing that he was with Levi since he came back from the summer camp. You gently wiped your younger son’s lips with your thumb, cleaning your finger with the handkerchief right after. “There, free of cake icing,” you murmured. The two of you stared at each other with soft smiles. You booped his nose, jokingly narrowing your eyes, “You are in so much trouble, little prince — staying in California all this time.”

“Well,” Caelum prolonged the word with a laugh, finding the glint of happiness in your eyes pretty, “California is all sunshine, Mum, and you know how London sometimes has unpredictable weather even in the summer. I just thought this opportunity is a perfect time to enjoy my favorite season here.”

“Did you have fun with your dad?” You tilted your head with a smile. “I hope you didn’t give him a hard time.”

“He’s perfect, [Name],” Levi answered for Caelum, pulling Altair by his side to give him gentle pats on the back. He looked down on the older twin, affectionately squeezing his son’s cheek. “Are you okay now, Al?” Levi then felt satisfied with Altair’s embarrassed nod, the latter’s cheeks colored with an adorable shade of cherry blossom pink. The silver-eyed man lowly chuckled as he observed Altair acting like he wasn’t crying his heart out to his mother a few minutes prior. It was always cute to watch, something that Levi never voiced out. His gaze left the pouty face of the older twin and sought out your beautiful visage, which was still lovingly trained on Caelum. As if his eyes were a beacon, you met his stare before flashing a breathtaking close-lipped smile. His mouth started talking without thinking about his words, “Caelum is an amazing kid. He’s so great at mingling with the people on the plantation and his words always make me reflect on life for some reason. You did so well in raising him, [Name].”

“Thank you, Levi.” Your heart was pounding with your ex-husband’s praise, your decision of getting back with him pulsating in your mind. Caelum was still waiting for your next words so you turned back to him. Knowing that you never saw him these past few days, you slightly opened your arms. “Come here and give your mum a hug, little prince.”

Caelum’s gray eyes shone like a passing comet, finding home in the feeling of your arms gripping him close to your heart. Two heartbeats resonated through the poolside of the hotel. At the area where Petra and Oluo set up the snacks, Hange was watching the heartwarming moment with tears in their eyes. As much as Oluo never agreed on Hange’s remarks most of the time, he couldn’t help but nod his head with a blow in his handkerchief when the brown-haired person mentioned how happy you looked with your twins and ex-husband. Not knowing what was happening on the sidelines, the younger twin squeezed you more, burying his face on the crook of your neck. Your blossom-infused scent made him smile against your skin, numerous flowers entering Caelum’s senses. Everything about you completed his day. After crying in Levi’s arms to meeting Lucas in the hotel’s lobby, all his sorrow and frustration melted away as each second was spent cuddling into you.

He hugged you like he never wanted to part with you, though, he never cried.

You noticed the intensity of his grip.

Your parents telling you the consequence if you didn’t marry Lucas was the reason why you appreciated meeting your little heaven again. Pulling away gently, you cupped Caelum’s cheek with your palm before kissing his nose, the physical contact making the boy giggle in your arms. You felt Caelum’s hands on your cheeks, tilting your head down to give access to the usual place where he reciprocates your nose kisses.

The softest kiss landed on your forehead. Caelum opened his eyes, his vision focusing on the Sun of his life. “I love you to the Moon and back, Mummy. No matter what happens, I will never leave you. I know we’ll get through this and it will be just the four of us in the end.” There were so many possibilities as to who these four people are. Caelum hoped that you misinterpret it as the usual quartet living under the roof of your house in London. Because if you got the idea that you were being set up by your sons, everything will be back to square one. “You’re not alone in this, Mum. You can lean on us, too. We’re here for you, especially Dad.”

Unshed tears glazed your irises, your heart swelling at the words. “And I love you even farther, our little heaven.” His knowing smile at the addition of Levi in his reassurances compelled you to look over at Levi, whose cheeks were flushed at the mention. “Speaking of your father, why don’t you and Al play by the pool? I think there’s some catching up to do with him that will be worth twelve years.”

Altair grinned, placing himself beside Caelum and wrapping an arm around his younger brother’s shoulders. “Sure, Mom.”

The younger twin chuckled. “Take your time, okay? And don’t be mean to him.” He narrowed his eyes at you in a jest. “He’s already suffering enough from missing you too much — don’t break him.”

Levi’s sharp intake of breath rang from behind the twins. “You know I’m still here, Cae.” Once again, he was ignored.

The two of them glanced at each other before hugging you at the same time, your euphoric laughter mixing with theirs.

“We love you so much, Mommy.”

“Much more than you imagine,” Caelum finished, pulling his twin to the direction of Hange and the others. “Have fun with Dad!”

“Don’t run by the pool, you brats!” Levi shouted with his arms crosses over his chest. The moment the two boys reached the other adults (“See, we’re fine, old man!” Altair yelled back.), he faced you with a thoughtful expression and watching as you straightened yourself. He offered his hand at you, “Shall we?”

Electricity ran through both of your arms when you finally placed your hand on his. The entire scenery gleamed with something you missed ever since you started your relationship with him years ago. It was a foreign yet nostalgic feeling. The expanse of his back and the undercut he sported for years were stirring the swarm of butterflies in your stomach — your talk didn’t even start yet. You let him pull you to one of the reclining pool chairs that were not too far from the others, sitting on one and expectantly looking up at you. You didn’t know where to sit for a few moments but you were ready to take a seat on the pool chair beside his, which will make you two face each other. A fond touch circled your wrist, pulling you to sit beside an amused Levi. His half-smile ignited your face until you looked away from him, the intensity of his stare was becoming too much for your heart. You saw him angle himself to slightly face you yet he never made a move to add more space between the two of you. Following him, you found yourself mesmerized at his half-lidded stare.

“How have you been?” The deep baritone of his voice tingled your heart.

You blinked out of your stupor, breathing a laugh under your breath. His gaze always made you shy so you looked down on your lap, a lock of hair covering half of your face. “I’m doing fine. The bridal boutique is the only thing keeping me busy other than what’s happening in our home, you know, with Hange and Caelum always keeping the house alive.”

Levi carefully tucked your hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering over the side of your face. There was a permanent love-struck small smile on his face that he was unaware of. “I’m happy to hear that. I’m sure your childhood friend slash butler helps you when that happens.”

You peered at him through your eyelashes. “That childhood friend slash butler of mine has a name, you know.”

“Oluo — I’m sure Oluo helps you when that happens.” He rolled his eyes lightheartedly, shaking his head with a laugh right after. “I can’t believe I almost punched him in the face, only because he went out of the main bathroom with only a robe on. Can you even believe I got jealous of him? Even today, I feel ashamed of myself for jumping to conclusions.”

“So, you admit that you were jealous of Oluo that time?” You hummed in amusement, pointing a finger in front of his face. “You denied that so many times no matter how much I tried to make you admit it. You always go,” you deepened your voice and made your face go blank, “‘I’m not jealous, just leave me alone’. I mean, it’s partially my fault. I didn’t tell you beforehand that Oluo became one of our flatmates.”

Levi chuckled. “His face was the funny part to me. He looked so lost and pale like I sucked his soul or he was trying to hold in his shit. It was either of those two.” He shook his head. “Do I look like one of those hooded figures in Harry Potter for him?”

His humor never failed to make you laugh out loud. “Oluo has always been like that ever since we were kids. He nearly peed himself when Mother became angry at some of the help during my eighth birthday.”

He glanced at the said man at the corner of his eyes, with you following his eyes to where Oluo was getting flustered with every interaction he had with Petra. Then, his stare went to the twins. Altair was showing Caelum how to play Pokémon Sword in his Switch, looking over the younger boy’s shoulders to direct him during the gameplay. Levi snorted when Caelum pointed at the screen of the device, calling a Pokémon cute and wanting it, only for Altair to tell him that something cooler is better. Caelum shook his head, ignoring his twin’s protests, and it looked like he chose to catch the Pokémon he wanted because he said it was shining. Without him knowing, you kept gazing at his side profile, watching how his eyes endearingly observed the twins. You looked away from him and your heart melted at the sight of your and Levi’s sons beside each other. You saw how Altair’s expression brightened whenever Caelum looked back at him to ask for help while the younger boy stared at his older brother in amazement.

“What the fuck? That was a Brilliant Pokémon? You caught a Brilliant Pokémon this early?!”

“Is that bad?”

“I had to roam that area for hours to get something with a Brilliant Aura. Are you some kind of magnet? The next time I’m playing, you have to stay beside me. Maybe your good luck might affect me if I play gacha games, too.”

“I’m scared to ask but I’m curious — what are gacha games?”

“Oh, you sweet innocent child.”

“We’re the same age.”

“You poor, poor kid. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about gaming. It’s a calming hobby if I do say so myself.”

“You cursed at your Switch earlier at lunch because you died. You didn’t just curse once, you repeated it so many times that Dad threatened to confiscate your Switch and phone. Even Petra and Captain scolded you, Al. Well, Captain only barked but it counts as a sermon, I guess.”

“… What can I say? It’s a way to relieve anger and stress.”

“… I’m concerned.”

You laughed at the exchange. “I can’t believe our boys are together in one setting. It feels so surreal.”

“Yeah, our boys.”

Your eyes briefly widened before shifting your head to the side, only for your breath to hitch. Levi was already gazing at you with a handsome smile that always entranced you. It felt like it was college all over again, where every single action Levi did, sent your heart spiraling in an abyss. You’re willing to let yourself drown in that silver sea again. This was the first time you ever admitted it after twelve years but him saying ‘our boys’ was making you fall in love with him again. No, the moment you saw him in the hotel’s interior was when you felt so many emotions for him again. But every second was amplifying the feelings you kept hidden in a chest, threatening to overflow. “Our boys,” you breathed, flashing a somber smile. “That sounds like a dream.”

Oluo materialized beside you two to place a tray of drinks on the table by the pool chair. While carefully putting the tall glasses of juice, the butler warily eyed Levi before giving you a warm smile, turning around to go back on babysitting the two kids. You thanked him, reaching out towards the table. Levi’s fingers brushed against yours for a brief moment, causing you to gasp lightly and recoil. God, why are you acting like a teenager coping with your newfound crush? This is your ex-husband and you’re far from being a teenager. Hell, you two have two amazing sons sitting a few feet from you and you’re acting like you didn’t make love to him a thousand times since junior year in university. You berated yourself along those lines, not noticing that Levi took matters into his own hands, handing you your drink. There was a gleam of amusement in his eyes that ignited embarrassment to bubble in your stomach. Bloody hell, that was worthy of a laugh.

“You don’t have to act so tensely around me, beautiful.” Levi’s voice was so close to your ear that it made you jump a little bit. You turned your head swiftly, a mere two inches separating you two. You felt your face heat up at the proximity, witnessing how Levi’s cheeks flushed, his eyes widening. The two of you didn’t pull away. It felt like Eternity was choosing this moment to prolong, letting the two of you get lost in each other’s eyes. “It’s just me, okay? Relax.” You followed his advice and you felt your shoulders loosened their tightness. Without thinking about it, you fixed your stare on his lips. His bottom lip was still fuller and like a person craving for a lover’s touch, you tilted your head.

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Levi. If only you could hear how loud his heartbeat was pounding. It was like a song, with you as his muse that spurred every tempo and beat. The distance was slightly diminishing and both of your breaths stopped when inches became centimeters. He was so intoxicated by your scent that he didn’t care if anyone saw him retreat into someone vulnerable. Only you can make him shed his impassive front. It was always you. Your eyes were starting to close and yet Levi chose the opposite — just to see your face if your lips make contact with one another. But he couldn’t help it. His eyes were closing on their own, with the softness of your lips brushing on his. His free hand rose to cup your cheek.

Until a flash erupted in front of you two, breaking the small bubble Levi created just for the two of you.

“You,” Caelum started, the Switch was forgotten on his lap, “are a bloody idiot, Al.”

Altair gulped at the unamused stares he got from Levi and Caelum, shivering at the uncanny similarity. Since he knew that Caelum brought the camera Erwin gave as a welcoming gift, he took it out of one of the bags. Once he saw the picture-perfect moment unfolding in front of his eyes, he didn’t have a second thought of taking a photo. Only for the flash to interrupt it. He looked at anywhere except those two, meeting your amused smile. “Mom,” he partially whined. “I didn’t know the flash was on.”

You waved him over, your giggles when Altair entered your arms softening Levi’s and Caelum’s glares directed at the older Ackerman twin. Altair snuggled on your side, head resting on your chest with a noticeable pout pulling on his lips. “Let’s take the flash away, okay? Here, hold this drink for me for a second.” Your gentle voice contrasted with the frustrated sigh coming from Levi. You fiddled with the settings before glancing at Levi, who inconspicuously scooted closer to you. “Oh, come on, Levi, don’t look at Al like that.” You patted your ex-husband’s cheek, squeezing his cheek lightly.

Levi’s blank face was directed at you. He blinked slowly for a few moments, slightly tilting his head to narrow his eyes at the boy sneaking a look from your other side. A mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ was what Levi got from Altair. Without anything to bring back the earlier atmosphere, he sighed. A fervent waving caught his attention. Caelum was gesturing at him and then pointing at you. His mouth was saying something wordlessly but Levi couldn’t comprehend it. Altair picked up on it and coughed between the word ‘date’, getting up from the pool chair, but not before kissing you on the cheek swiftly and placing your drink on the side table. He returned to his twin's side, nudging Caelum as a weak attempt to erase the unamused stare on his younger twin. Levi cleared his throat, remembering his son’s words in his suite.

(Altair clapped his hands. “Okay, listen up, everyone! Since all we need is to get evidence that Luke is cheating on Mom, I’m thinking of following him for the entire day tomorrow.”

“Where did this come from?” Levi asked. “And what are you saying following him? Are you doing that alone?”

“Thank you for the questions, Dad, but hear me out first.”

Levi scoffed a laugh.

“Quick warning, all of this is hypothetical and these are just my speculations. Let’s say that Lucas will be gone for the whole day tomorrow to hook up with some random girl around California. My source is seeing him using Google Maps on his phone while waiting for the taxi to take us to this hotel. The second source is seeing him talking to a younger woman in the hotel lobby when Mom is right there. Another thing that fueled my suspicion is the woman whispering something to Luke and him nodding along. Of course, I won’t forget how he took out his phone to exchange numbers!” Altair took a deep breath. “My point is, he’ll be gone the whole day tomorrow. Or the entire morning.”

“That’s such a … an unreachable theory, Al,” Petra voiced out.

“Still a theory.”

Caelum looked up from his pasta. “What do we do then?”

“You,” the older twin pointed at Caelum with a devilish grin, “will be coming with me to find Luke around San Francisco and catch solid evidence of his cheating. Petra, Oluo, and Hange will be coming with the two of us.” The two adults blinked, Altair brushing their reaction off. “Since Hange might say yes to this instantly, I hope you two will be okay with it?” He directed his question at the redhead and brunet.

“Yeah, we’ll watch over you two.” Petra flashed a thumbs-up.

Oluo only nodded with an impressed hum.

Levi sipped on his tea. “What about me?”

“Take Mom out on a date tomorrow.”

The onyx-haired man raised his head too fast that it ignited his headache to dully throb again.

“Make her relive your first date with her in a museum. It’s sort of a distraction to not give the other side of the plan out. Mom might have an idea about us getting evidence if she stays in this hotel without anything to do. And since you also have nothing to do, you ask her on a date, Dad.” Altair crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrow raised teasingly. “You also mentioned getting back with her, right? Isn’t dating the first step in establishing a relationship. It’s like killing two birds with one stone, Dad, so stop looking like I put the entire world on your shoulders. We follow Luke and you rekindle your relationship with Mom! How fun is that!”

“I-I don’t know how to ask her that.”

Caelum smiled. “You did it for your first date, right? You can always do it again, Dad.”)

Levi took a deep breath. “[Name]?”

You hummed as a response, your pretty eyes captivating Levi.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“Yes,” you answered, heartbeat thudding in your ears.

He never looked away from you, cheeks flaming with heat. “Let me take you out. For old time’s sake.”

A pause rang out after his words, then, a heavenly smile lit up your face. “Of course, Levi.”

Altair presented his hand in front of Caelum, palm up. The younger twin looked away from their parents and looked back and forth between the waiting palm and the smug grin Altair sported. With a shake of his head, lips pulled on a smile, he gave his twin a high-five. The plan is being blessed by both Fate and Time.

taglist:

@loveprisms @halparkebitch @omlbarnes @a--nonymousse @nunufx @misslovingpearl @softsakusas @whalerus @sakuxxi @littleagxs @izzy-rose010 @dora-the-grownup @dren-whalen @tsunderehokage @bokkunto @alwayssleepingforreal @haikyuutothetop

if your username is in italics, i couldn't tag you :<<

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pretender — eren jaeger

— eren jaeger x female reader (college au)

— content: angst for our birthday boy :"))

— summary: a series of events throughout college where eren has to pretend he never harbored any feelings for you.

— word count: 7.9k

— notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EREN !! i posted this a little early because i won't have that much time logging into tumblr tomorrow since my schedule is packed with three exams. why is it that every time i write for eren, it's always unrequited love or somewhat related to that, pls forgive me hhhhh and it's his birthday, too. buuut what better way to celebrate his birthday than some good-old modern au angst ??? yep, good thing i didn't decide on making a canonverse one --- that one would break me. n e way, i hope you lovely humans enjoy this (let's be real here, i cried while writing the last bit of this, okay???) mwa, have fun reading! (also, it's best if you guys listen to higedan's pretender to amplify the emotions oop)

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! masterlist

also, as usual, this is unedited :>>

No matter how hard he tries to be with you under the spotlight, he’s always part of the audience.

You’re a shining star — the center of a solar system that is your friend group and the string that manages to connect everyone together. Before forming your tight-knit circle, you were already best friends with Jean and Marco, roommates with Mikasa, and department buddies with Armin. You’re a born social butterfly who manages to make a name for herself in your university. You wear kindness and empathy on your sleeve like no other even if you started your day with a negative outlook (mostly from frustration and burn-outs from your quizzes and essays). People say you’re a breath of fresh air when you’re around, others say that your advice brightens their day, or in the rarest of the bunch’s case, you make their stomach tingle with just your smile.

Eren is pretty sure he’s in the third category.

He doesn’t know when this emotional fiasco first started but all he knows is that falling for you was a process that he was unaware of until Armin made him realize it. In the first place, Eren isn’t that particularly close with you. You tend to spend more alone time with Armin or Mikasa than with him. The only time you two talk is when the entire friendship circle gathers for a hang-out or when Mikasa invites you to dinner with their childhood trio. They’re all awkward exchanges that all of your friends pity at, some of them even taking the reins to keep the conversation going because Eren seems to forget what he’s about to say when you’re focusing your attention on him.

At least that’s what your friends believe.

Nonetheless, those goddamn eyes that sparkle on their own, hair that effortlessly frames your face, lips that quirk a little in anticipation of his words — everything about you is just pure torture for his weak heart.

Since the beginning, Eren already felt the telltale signs of him being lovesick.

The first time you two met gazes, he had to inhale a deep breath. It was freshman year in college and Mikasa needed help putting her boxes in her dorm room. Being the kind-hearted and caring best friend that he was (a thing that he boasted well to the point where Mikasa had to humble him by saying otherwise), Eren offered to carry some boxes. Good thing that the black-haired girl’s dorm room was only situated on the third floor or else he would’ve dipped the moment he saw the tall building of Rose Dormitories. With Mikasa still by the counter to get her a copy of their dorm room key, Eren entered the opened door with confidence that shouldn’t be done inside a girls’ dormitory.

All it took was you turning around from decorating your pin-up bulletin board to render him breathless.

Your eyelashes flutter in surprise to see a tall male carrying two boxes and sauntering inside your dorm room as he owned it. At first, you questioned if this was really a dormitory for girls or you just misread the pamphlet before moving in. Your arms that were on the bulletin board beside your bed slackened until you stood upright, your hands clutching the photographs you were about to pin.

“U-Uhm, hi?” It was more like a question that had you raising an eyebrow at him. Eren inwardly cursed himself while trying to make himself look small, which didn’t exactly help him since he was pretty tall for his age. “I-I’m just gonna put the boxes h-here.” He chuckled nervously because he could still feel your gaze drilling on his head.

“Oh, it’s fine,” you chimed, a smile on your face despite your initial wariness.

Eren stopped, his back facing you but his eyes were bouncing on Mikasa’s barren side of the dorm room. He contemplated looking back at you to check if you were still gauging him. Only then he could breathe when he heard you open some boxes on your side. The entire time, Eren was as stiff as a board, the awkwardness seeping through him as he stood there with his front facing away from you. Pretty sure you were now listening to some music in your AirPods, as observed from your occasional humming.

“Thank you for helping me, Eren,” Mikasa called for him.

He jumped at her voice, his attention focusing on your melodious hums for the past ten minutes. “Oh, shit!”

You looked up at the abrupt exclamation, first, at Eren and then at Mikasa. Your face instantly brightened at the sight of the short-haired young woman entering the dorm room. “You must be Mikasa, right?” You took off your AirPods and extended a hand in front of her with a friendly jubilance. “I’m [Name], your roommate.”

Mikasa stopped side-eyeing Eren with a judgmental sheen in her eyes (probably because he was standing too long like an idiot with you in the room) to flash you a small grin. She accepted your handshake, her hand firm against yours. “Yeah. Mikasa Ackerman. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure to meet you, too.”

Once you two let go of the handshake, Mikasa looked at Eren. “That’s my best friend, Eren.” At that, Eren waved with a sheepish smile on his face. You returned the gesture to him before focusing your attention on your new roommate. She smiled when you two met gazes again. “I’m sorry if he’s too awkward while you’re moving in. He has a habit of being too shy around pretty girls.”

Eren gawked at Mikasa, who effortlessly said those words that garnered a flustered reaction from you. It came off so easy to her when all Eren did to gain your attention was to act like an idiot who was never around girls aside from his best friend slash practically older sister (by a month!). There was a knowing smile on Mikasa’s face that irked him. Oh, she knew that Eren was shot with attraction at first sight. She was actually standing in the open doorway, observing him whilst he was standing like that meme going around social media nowadays. Eren narrowed his eyes at the smug girl, who never once looked back at him. He knew she could feel the warning signs going off from his perch and he knew she had this urge to subtly tell you that he was interested in you.

Who could blame him though?

You were definitely the prettiest girl he never saw in his life.

Eren remembered randomly thinking about someone so ethereal while delving into the topic of ideal lovers during a sleepover with Mikasa and Armin. He thought about how she might’ve eyes that simply smile without doing it or a love for anything she could touch. He thought about her eyes, how they sparkled when they had an idea or a eureka moment. Would he meet her in a random coffee shop? Or in the streets, while he was running for some shelter from the rain? All of those scenarios he conjured in his head vanished the moment his eyes found you. He never thought he could see that girl right now in front of him, just a few paces in a four-walled dorm room with two beds.

Relationships were the least thing he could ever touch on while starting university, determined to follow his father’s and brother’s footsteps in the medical field. And Mikasa was right, he was awkward, too awkward, around women in general. The only exceptions were his mom, said best friend, and family dog (this wasn’t counted but Freya was family and had been there for him since he was in primary school). It was natural for him to react that way because you were so angelic while doing your thing in this empty dorm room.

“You’re the pretty one here, Mikasa!” You exclaimed with warm cheeks.

“Nah,” Mikasa smiled. “You’re definitely prettier. Am I right, Eren?”

Mikasa and her perceptiveness — Eren hated it. Her eyes were like lasers. He laughed his nerves off while looking directly at you. “Yeah. Definitely a pretty girl you are.” What the fuck? When did he become Yoda? Now, Eren wanted to bury himself ten feet underground.

You laughed lightheartedly. “You’re adorable, Eren.”

Mikasa prevented herself from laughing out loud by biting her bottom lip and shaking her head.

“I’m looking forward to talking with you more, Eren.”

Eren gulped, lifting his gaze to be blinded by your smile. “Y-Yeah. Same here, p-pretty girl.”

Now, Mikasa snorted.

You fully turned to him. “Good to know, pretty boy.”

All it took was one moment with your exuberant nature to know that he was undeniably and irrevocably screwed.

He thought this would fade away, seeing as there were also so many attractive girls around campus while he was stressing out during freshman year. He recalled some of them but none of them imprinted their image in his brain the way you did. He would search for you in a crowded cafeteria, turn his head towards the sound of your voice, and gravitate towards you without crossing the boundary. It was always testing the waters with you in the first year of college, knowing that Eren didn’t fully recognize that what he was feeling was a blooming crush. He thought you were just a pretty face that his mind couldn’t shake off but there was a voice whispering somewhere about how it ran deeper than the usual infatuation. He never listened to it so he chose to let it be.

That was three years ago.

The feeling just keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes his entire body and he has no choice but to let himself drown in everything about you.

His first mistake was never acknowledging what he felt for you. Now, he can pinpoint the reasons why he was so hesitant. First, he was unaware of romantic feelings. His whole life revolved around maintaining his school standing that even if some girls expressed their interest in him, he’d bolt the other way before saying a quick hello. Second and probably the one he’s most sure of, he was scared that time. Scared of the fact that this would lead to heartbreak, that you’re going to end up as someone he can only reminisce about once he reaches the end of college.

But the more he thinks about you, the more he spirals into a spring-filled rabbit hole.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Eren jumped from lounging on his bed, back ramrod straight and eyes wide as he stared at his phone. There was just no way that he double-tapped on one of your oldest posts on Instagram. He made sure to never do that before scrolling through your profile. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, his mind swirling with thoughts of unliking your post. His finger hovered over the picture featuring a much younger you lying down on a field of daisies. Of all pictures, he had to like a photo set featuring Jean, the most insufferable person Eren ever knew at the moment.

Never mind that. Eren shook his head, putting his concern about your relationship with Jean way into the back of his mind.

But that would make it suspicious — unliking something from so long ago because you would check it. His name would appear and if it didn’t after you clicked on the notification, you’d be questioning whether he was right in the head or not.

“This can’t be happening right now. I’m such a fucking idiot!” Eren buried his hands through his unbound hair. “I shouldn’t have visited her profile. I shouldn’t have listened to Armin when he told me to check her account out. I shouldn’t have let my curiosity win!” Eren groaned, falling back on his bed with a bounce, his phone resting idly beside his body.

This was the first time Eren braved himself into visiting your socials.

Armin tagged you in an Instagram story a few months back and because Eren asked Armin where he was through that story, the blond relayed that he was with you on a museum ‘date’ and that he should be back in time for their weekly gaming night. (It was a Friday.) The story featured Armin taking a video of himself before calling your name, the camera panning over Armin’s shoulder, in time for your radiant smile and joyful wave in front of a wood carving.

Eren was in shock at first. His best friend, who rarely went out with people he barely knew, invited you (who he only knew for a semester) on a museum ‘date’? It also didn’t help when he saw that Armin posted a photo set of this museum ‘date’ and in the first picture, there was a shot of your back staring at a massive painting. For some reason, Eren let out a heavy sigh when he flipped through the pictures. This burdening pit inside his stomach remained until Armin came home to their dorm room. Not knowing the reason behind the sourness, Eren sulked the entire night, which the blond didn’t appreciate at all. Especially when he got his best friend the special from the museum’s restaurant. That was expensive. Of course, Eren’s emo episode ended right there, not telling Armin why he did that in the first place.

Then, Armin shared his day with you.

You and Armin were in the same department — marine biology. Since most of your classes aligned with one another, the two of you went through lectures together, even partnering with each other during lab work. Armin found your wit and wonder to understand the oceanic world fascinating and relatable. That night of the supposed museum date, he even told Eren a little detail about his relationship with you that he kept to himself. Armin knew you when he confirmed his slot in the marine biology department, with you visiting the university on the same day as well. Eren then found out you had more friendly dates with Armin than he anticipated. It’s like a pact between single friends, a way to enjoy the company with each other, and a token of appreciation for sticking when push comes to shove.

Again, it was another thing that his friends had with you that he didn’t.

A vibration from his bed snapped his musings.

Thinking it was only a message from Armin about coming home late, Eren begrudgingly brought his phone to his face. His eyes lazily scanned the screen before … Wait. Was that your name on his notifications? Eren tightly closed his eyes before glaring at his phone again. Yes, it is. That was your username on Instagram.

You followed him.

Eren felt his face burn.

Another notification appeared over the previous one.

You liked one of his photos. Not the old ones where he looked like a scrawny twig ready to fall off if the wind blew too strongly. (Next on the agenda after freaking out over you: delete those god-awful pictures because they never gave his current appearance justice.) You liked the most recent one, a picture of him staring at the camera with the low-tide beach behind him and the golden hour as the best lighting. (Bless Armin for taking the picture and also Mikasa for directing him on how to pose because he couldn’t take a decent picture without their help.)

It was just a little thing but you liking his picture and following him made Eren’s day.

The worry that he may have looked like an idiot accidentally liking your old picture dissipated. He now thanked that stupid moment of double-tapping your picture because even though this was just the most basic gesture between newly-found friends, this was a chance to get closer to you.

He went back to your profile, clicking the follow button almost immediately. Forget looking like a fool, Eren was excited to make one connection with you on social media. Your story then popped up and like a moth drawn to a flame, Eren viewed it. It was a selfie of you in a cafe situated in the university square. You were beside a window, the golden glow of the late afternoon sun framing half of your face in the most picturesque way possible. It got Eren smiling like an idiot, his heart pounding too loudly in his chest. Without thinking, he reacted to your story, thinking that your closest friends probably do that too. He has seen Armin and Jean do it in your stories so why not him?

Probably because Armin and Jean never looked at you like your smile rises and sets with the sun.

This night was probably the most enchanting moment in Eren’s freshman year.

[name]: hey, eren! thank God i finally followed you!

Eren thought he died and had gone to heaven. He waited a couple of minutes before replying, the conversation flowing from the two of you without some setbacks until the afternoon sun turned into the middle of the night. Eren never cared if he had the first period with one of the stricter professors, he finally got to talk to you even if it’s through a screen, in speech bubbles and reaction pictures.

He now knew your favorite season, your favorite TV show, your preferred pet, your favorite food — Eren felt like he won at life.

“I don’t wanna be a third wheel, Horseface,” Eren grumbled one free day during sophomore year. He was stepping outside of his dorm room because of a very annoying Jean Kirchstein very early in the morning. (It was ten in the morning. Sue him for enjoying his sleep.) He closed the door with a resounding bang, stopping for a moment to look around the hallway if anybody would scold him. After a couple of seconds of silence, he talked to the phone, “Again, I don’t want to be a third wheel. You know how awkward that would be?”

“You’re not gonna be a third wheel, asshole,” Jean grumbled through the speaker. Eren rolled his eyes. “Why would you be a third wheel if [Name] invited you to join us? Don’t know what came over her though. I, for sure, don’t want to see your donkey ass face.”

Here’s the thing, you and Jean go way back. Because of you standing up for him after he was getting picked on for being too chubby back in elementary school, the rest was history. At least from what Eren heard from you when you were talking about your childhood with Armin and Sasha. (The latter of the two laughed out loud when you mentioned that detail of Jean being the fluffiest kid ever.) Alongside Marco, you three were tightly knit just like Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. How the three of you act around each other was so similar to their dynamic. Jean always had a reckless streak to him, Marco trailed after him to prevent him from getting hurt in any way, and you made sure that the two are being taken care of — the mother hen of the little group.

So, it was a great surprise that he was standing on your right side instead of Marco.

“I’m sorry for inviting you out of the blue, Eren,” you apologized, head leaning back to fully look him in the eye. There he noticed how you’re so small compared to him. Like the perfect huggable person for him. Okay, now he had to reel his thoughts from ever overstepping that boundary again. “I just remembered that you have a free day as well so I thought why not ask you, too.”

Well, if you put it that way. Eren scratched his nape. “It’s alright. It’s a good thing you invited me. I’d probably die of boredom in our dorm room.”

You lightly laughed before walking inside the huge bookstore outside of campus.

Eren watched your back, walking behind you and Jean. He felt a pinch inside his chest when Jean patted you on the head before pointing at a certain section of the store and walking off with his hands inside his pockets. You waved at the blond, turning your head slightly to invite Eren to walk closer to you. The brunet increased his pace and found his way beside you. He nonchalantly trailed his eyes over the book covers displayed on the center tables of the first floor. “Where’d Horseface go off to?”

You picked one book, flipping it to read the blurb on the back. You hummed before placing the novel back in its original place. “He has to pick some textbooks and novels for Literature. They’re studying classics right now.”

“Oh.” Eren slowly nodded. He followed you around, from the fiction aisle to the nonfiction aisle, until you two were in front of the graphic novel and manga section. He noticed your expression brighten at the array of colorful spines even though you have a couple of books in the crook of your elbow. “You read some manga?”

“Yeah,” you chirped, taking out a vibrant manga and cheering. “Wow, lucky! I’ve always wanted to buy this one but it’s always out of stock.”

He chuckled. Since he was here, might as well indulge and splurge on some volumes. Eren’s eyebrows raised at a certain title. “Never knew they sell these.” He admired the cover before flipping to the spine to see which volume it was. “It’s a later volume, too. Man, I’m not even in this arc in the show.”

“Ooh, that’s the one with the human-eating monsters, right?” You leaned over his side. Eren then shifted his body so that you could see the book in his hand. If someone were to see you two without any context, they would think the two of you were a couple with how close you were to him. Eren acted like this never affected him. He could smell your shampoo and perfume. They were a mix of scents that he never knew he needed — something fruity that’s not too strong but noticeable enough to let him know it was from you. It was like your very presence calmed him down and at the same time made him tingle with nerves. “Oh, look, Eren, they have the first volume here.”

“Yeah?” Eren looked up and followed your finger. “Nice. I’ve been thinking of buying the manga.”

“You should buy it.”

“Well, you should recommend something to accompany this one.” He lifted the first volume while returning the one he picked up earlier.

“Hmm.” You furrowed your eyebrows — it was somewhat your thinking face. “How about we go back to the horror and mystery section. I think you’d love some titles over there!”

Eren snickered. Ever since he mentioned to you that he loved the thrill of horror movies and the anticipation of murder mysteries through your nightly chats, you were recommending all sorts of films to him and he would be lying if he said he didn’t like all of them. “Lead the way, pretty girl.”

The bounce in your step was enough for Eren to follow you. Every time you pick up a book, he would lean over your shoulder, the proximity coloring the tip of his ears with the prettiest shade of carnation.

He thanked his longer hair for covering any evidence of his reaction to you because if it didn’t, Jean would be looking at him at the counter like he knew something and was thinking too much about it. Eren would’ve retorted something along the lines of “stop thinking too much, it would hurt yourself” but all he could do was stare right back at Jean’s judgmental face. But when you turned around to wait for the two boys, that was when Jean took the initiative to say, “And you were bitching about being the third wheel.” He scoffed before paying for his required books. “I should be the one doing that.”

“What are you talking about, Horseface?” Eren hissed. He caught you looking up from your phone, almost as if you had a radar for every time Eren and Jean butted heads. He lowered his voice to not alert you again. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Kirchstein.”

“Please,” Jean drawled. “You like her, don’t you?”

Eren froze. “O-Of course! Sh-She’s a close friend! She’s Mikasa’s roommate and Armin’s college buddy!”

Jean deadpanned him. “Don’t give me that crap.”

“It’s true!” Again, you looked at the two of them with concern. Eren shook his head. “I like her but not in the way you think.”

Jean was quiet for a while, his expression unreadable as he waited for Eren to finish paying for his books. “But if you do like her in the way that I think, make sure you tell her, blockhead.” He slowly turned his head to Eren. The seriousness he carried caused a chill to run down Eren’s spine. It was rare to see this side of Jean and it almost always surfaced when it came to you. “If you ever realize that you like like her—”

Eren laughed. “What are we, thirteen? Like like her—?”

“I’m not playing, Jaeger. Tell her the moment you realize. I know you won't lose anything when you do.”

“Won’t lose anything?” Eren exclaimed in disbelief, even laughing under his breath. “I value my friendship with her just as much as I value my friendship with you guys. I can’t just—”

“So, you do like her. More than just being friends. More than just a teeny crush.”

Eren paused, eyes searching for a way out by darting his stare on Jean’s blank face. He looked away when he felt like it was too much. It was too early to admit to himself that what he felt for you was more than just infatuation. He hastened his pace towards you, leaving behind a sighing Jean in his heels. He chose not to answer the taller boy’s question because that would mean he admitted it and if he admitted it … then, everything involving you would change. Every single thing you’ll do, Eren will view it as something else. He would look at you with rose-colored glasses, one that was more pigmented than what he was wearing now. He would avoid this whenever Armin brought it up but now that Jean did it, your best friend, he felt like hiding.

So, you do like her.

It was not even a question.

You looked at him with a smile. “Done already?” You adjusted your tote bag over your shoulder.

Eren nodded, seemingly in a trance.

“Great! Where do you want to eat lunch? Any type of food you’re feeling?”

Jean reached you two and side-eyed Eren knowingly.

“Uh, wherever you want to eat, I guess.”

“You sure?” You raised an eyebrow.

Eren nodded again. “I’m sure I’d like it regardless.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Jean?”

“Somewhere with unlimited ice tea.”

You and Eren slowly stared at the taller male. “That’s oddly specific, Horseface.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, blockhead.”

When you finally found a place near the bookstore, the three of you made your way out of the establishment and walked for a couple of minutes. It was only when you ordered for your group inside the chosen restaurant did Jean once again talk to Eren. He was crossing his arms and leaning back on his chair while the brunet was sitting straight with his elbows on the table. “Think about it, Jaeger. I’ve known her for more than ten years and [Name] isn’t the type of person to make the first move. By not doing anything, you’re already losing and missing out on something extraordinary.”

If only Eren followed that advice.

“Here’s to us passing our finals!” Sasha shouted in your booth.

Everyone cheered. It was worthy of a celebration if all of your friends passed (even barely) the final exams. Eren felt proud of himself for doing so, even getting congratulations from his parents back in his hometown. After sleepless nights of revisions and running on caffeine, he felt refreshed at the unlimited iced tea at the Korean barbecue place they agreed on. He was sipping on his beverage while watching his friends take turns grilling the meat. Their table was one of the longest and loudest but he couldn’t blame them for acting this way since everyone never had time to hang out while studying for the exams.

“Man, I really thought I was gonna fail Ackerman’s class,” Connie laughed in relief. “Do you remember when he marked Jean’s paper with so many red corrections that we couldn’t read it anymore in Marco’s apartment?”

Sasha snorted. “He blamed it on the onions. And they weren’t even cut yet.”

Jean choked with red cheeks. “Because it really is!”

You laughed along with your friends, pointing at the sputtering blond. “Oh, no, Jean-boy! You were doing the full-on ‘dishonoring my family and our cow’ speech!”

“One failed assignment was all it took to humble Jean,” Marco snickered.

“Marco!” the subject of the conversation whined.

“I wished his humbling moment lasted,” Mikasa murmured, hitting the bulls-eye.

“Ooh! And that’s coming from Mikasa!” Connie cackled.

“I hate you guys,” Jean grumbled, his hand grazing the grill. “Ah, fuck! … Sasha, that’s my meat! No, give that back!”

“You take too long grilling it. This is mine now!”

“This is not even your side of the table. You should be sharing a grill with Mikasa, Eren, and [Name]!”

“This is charred, by the way.”

“You fucker. Then, give it back if all you do is complain!”

“Nuh-uh. Cry and I might.”

Eren shook his head at the chaos ensuing at your table. There was a point where a piece of meat flew from Jean and Sasha’s chopsticks and Armin had to intervene or else the servers would ask for your group to tone it down.

The brunet placed his glass of iced tea on a coaster and took the tongs to grill another batch of meat and vegetables. Eren glanced at you the moment a plate of wedged potatoes came to your table after Sasha requested them. You let out a little ‘wow’, eyes sparkling at the vegetable. He rolled the sleeves of his sweater and started taking pieces of potato before Sasha finished all of them, grilling them until the grill lines became visible on the surface. One by one, he carefully placed them on your plate. There was now a small pile of potatoes on your portion and when Eren noticed that it was getting too much, he switched to putting small strips of meat instead. As his mother said — a meal should be balanced. His brilliant emerald irises flickered to you to check if he did the delivery successfully, only to be met with your confused (adorable) face. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, you in disbelief while he was expectant for you to start eating.

“Eren, you’re going to give [Nickname] a stomachache.”

Eren reluctantly turned to Mikasa, who was blankly regarding the pile of meat and vegetables on your plate.

“Stop taking everything, Eren!” Sasha complained from beside the black-haired girl.

The brunet could only blink. He swiftly brought his attention back to you. “Is your stomach alright?”

“He’s ignoring me, Mikasa!”

Mikasa sighed. “We’ll just request for more, I guess.”

Her knowing glance was still there as she called for a waiter to put in the needed food. For someone who tended to eat too much and too fast when they were still in middle and high school, it was unexpected for Eren to offer someone what was on the table. He was the type to get his portion way before anyone else (a hoarder), gobbling it down like a vacuum, and coming back for more. This wasn’t the first time Eren got out of his way to give you his snacks and meals. Every time Mikasa caught a glimpse of it, it never failed to bring some suspicions to mind. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one to notice it because Armin just sent her a sly glance.

You lightly laughed. “No, I just think I couldn’t finish all of these.” You picked up a slice of meat with your chopsticks and stuffed it in your mouth. You chewed and swallowed before saying, “But thank you, ‘Ren, I appreciate this.”

Eren sheepishly laughed under his breath. “No problem. I wouldn't want you to run out of meat to eat.”

“What about you, though?”

“Nah, don’t worry about me, pretty girl. I’m just full seeing you eat.”

A snort came from the other end of the table and Eren felt his face burn. He didn’t have to turn to see Jean trying to compose himself while whispering the word simp behind his fist. Eren inwardly rolled his eyes. There’s nothing wrong with being like that, at least in his opinion. He couldn’t help but worry over you in the most minuscule of things. You wanted someone to walk you back to your dorm? No problem, he’s on the way. Do you need someone to be your study buddy for midterms? Eren was right in front of you, willing to ask you questions from your revision notes. You wanted someone to listen to your troubles? He’s the one for the job. Okay, maybe he was being a simp most of the time but that was beside the point. He enjoyed these things he did for you.

And it was the only way where he could express his feelings without looking like a fool to your friends.

“Come on, say ah,” you playfully stated, meat between your chopsticks and in front of his mouth.

Eren now felt the warmth on his cheeks travel towards his ears and neck. “Y-You don’t have to.”

“I insist. You’ve been grilling since we sat down. It’s the least I could do for our resident grillmaster.”

He stared at your hand, which is much smaller than his. Everything about you was leagues smaller than him and he wanted to wrap you in his arms and never let go. His eyes then trailed over to your smiling face. God, that smile could be the death of him. It was just making his heart race out of his chest until he felt numb from the feeling and the butterflies invigorate it once more to do it all over again. It was a never-ending cycle that revolved around you. He knew that everyone on the table was watching with expectant grins, having pointed out that you two acted like a couple without being one. So, Eren braved himself to wrap his wrist around yours, guiding your hand to successfully feed him the meat he grilled for you. For some reason, it was more delicious than the previous ones he ate. While he was chewing, he looked at you under his eyelashes, mesmerized at how close you were to him.

If only you two were alone right now.

He badly wanted to kiss you breathless and senseless until you two are the only people on earth.

“Wow, I feel so single right now.”

Connie’s dry declaration snapped you two out of your trance.

“Connie, you idiot! You ruined it,” Armin hissed.

“What?” Connie looked around and found blank stares directed at him. “Oh, come on, don’t tell me I’m the only one who felt single while looking at those two.”

Mikasa clicked her tongue. “I’m going to throttle you if you say one more word.”

“What?! Why?”

“Connie, this is why you’re single,” Jean muttered.

“Why are you ganging up on me now?!”

Sasha shook her head. “You just make it so easy.”

“I hate you guys!”

Eren glanced at you from the corners of his eyes, face still burning from the recent moment. Your hair was covering most of your side profile so he couldn’t see your reaction at all. Were you wary of him now? That was a close call. He was thinking about kissing you out of nowhere. He was such an idiot to think of you like that. The moment his brain conjured certain images of you, he would put a stop to it because he knew he was more than that. It was basic human decency. It would be awkward facing you after dreaming about you under him on his bed, your face the epitome of beauty in every angle. He wanted to say sorry for crossing the line but you tucked your hair behind your ear, giving him a clear view of your flustered expression.

It made him see stars.

Who knew he wasn’t the only one affected… Eren thought it was probably because of Connie’s statement. He instantly deflated at the thought.

Eren went back to eating his portion of the meat, which was not that many because Sasha gobbled them all. While he was picking at his rice with half-lidded eyes, a pair of chopsticks appeared on his plate, dropping a piece of potato and a strip of meat. He looked up with bright eyes at the view of you giving him a pulchritudinous smile.

“That’s me returning the favor, ‘Ren,” you told him before going back to eating and joining in a conversation.

Without thinking much, Eren wiped his hands on a napkin and reached down to the first compartment of his bag. He turned to face you and gently gathered your hair in a low ponytail. Yes, it was adorable seeing you tucking your hair to eat comfortably but it looked like it bothered you since you couldn’t duck down that much.

As Eren looped your locks through the extra hair tie he carried around just in case he lost his current one, he missed the way your eyes sparkled while letting him tidy up your hair. He didn’t know that his soft hands sent a flurry of spring blossoms inside your chest and it ought to stay that way with all this dancing-around you two were doing. So, when Eren straightened in his seat, the only thing he could make out from your face was gratitude in the form of a wide smile, he didn’t see the flash of affection passing like a comet within your irises. He didn’t notice Mikasa giving you a playful smirk, with your reply as a glare.

Eren was stuck in his little world because all he could think of was that it even hurts just to touch your hair.

Eren plays every single moment he has with you inside the karaoke room.

Despite the flashing lights, the dim setting, the video on the huge screen in front of your group, all Eren can focus on is your effervescent figure jumping up and down to the beat of the current song. The microphone is snug in your hold, your face in a permanent smile as you belt out the notes that got the rest of your friend group cheering. Sasha and Connie act like they’re your backup dancers while Mikasa films your performance with a fond look on her usually stoic face. Armin also has his phone out, acting as your cameraman, ready to put everything in his social media posts; Marco is cheering for you like how a proud mother does to her favorite child; and Jean is in possession of the other microphone, your other half in every karaoke night-out.

There are so many things happening at once but Eren never looks away from you.

A lot of things have changed after graduation. His hair (he chopped everything off), everyone having stable jobs, some of their friends finding potential life-long partners, his outlook in life — they’re just several things Eren can list. One thing never changes and it’s his way of seeing you differently from anyone else and the hope that one day you might see him the same way.

Once again, he’s transported to a very different scenario.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” he said in a way of greeting while entering your dorm room, a place that has seen so many memories play out within its four walls.

There were moments where Eren felt brave for some reason, risking the reveal of his feelings to get a daily dose of you. One of these moments was when he discovered you have a heavenly voice. In his hands were take-outs from your favorite restaurant in the university square. Eren thought that since Mikasa was out most of the week for her internship, he would take on the role of being your unofficial roomie, always bringing you food when you overwork yourself to burnout and letting you vent to the point of crying on his shoulder. A small voice told him that this was what boyfriends do and it never failed to make his heart flutter.

For now, he was holding onto these moments and pretending that he really was your boyfriend and he was taking care of you like how boyfriends do.

You were on your bed, looking up from burning your eyes with your iPad, and exhaustedly smiled at the sight of him. You opened your arms, the sleeves of your oversized wooly cardigan covering your hands.

Eren swooned at the image in front of him. He placed the paper bags of food on your desk and pulled you in a hug. “Damn, you’re shivering, pretty girl.” The nickname stuck and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He looked down at you while you stared up at him with your chin on his abdomen.

“I was too lazy to adjust the air conditioner,” you muttered before burying your face in his shirt.

The brunet breathed an endeared laugh, lifting a hand to pat the crown of your head. (Like boyfriends do.) “Let me adjust it for you. You’re already working hard enough as it is.”

“You’re the best, ‘Ren,” you told him and it went directly to his heart.

When the air conditioner was in the right setting and you were happily munching on the food he brought for you, Eren brought it up again. “I didn’t know you can sing,” he voiced out through a mouthful of his food. You looked up from stuffing your face with something that wasn’t instant ramen or convenience-store meals. Eren snorted at your puff-up cheeks, gulping down his food before wiping some sauce at the corner of your mouth.

You hummed as thanks. You slightly looked down to not meet Eren’s gaze. There’s always something about his eyes that makes your heart race. That would be a question for another time. You took a deep breath, laughing lightly while taking a piece of gyoza from his take-out. He let you. “You never asked.”

“Now, I am. Who else knows?”

“Miki caught me singing once and she asked me to sing something for her. She said something about my voice helping her fall asleep.”

Cue the many times Eren was jealous of Mikasa when it came to you. “Well, I understand why Meeks likes your voice, pretty girl. It’s beautiful as you.”

Time stood still as you two stared at each other, both of you sporting flustered expressions that one might think that you two are fumbling middle-schoolers with their first crush. Eren never forgot that night because your eyes were sparkling with something that he couldn’t pinpoint. Nonetheless, it sent his heart racing. He remembered how you stuttered your thanks, opting to stuff your face with your food again. Once Eren got out of his trance, he only smiled at you with that besotted look he has whenever you’re around and scooted closer to you. Even if you two ate in silence, he couldn’t ask for anything more.

And as you twirl under the disco lights of the karaoke room, he’s reminded that this love story of his is him being in the front-row seat and you’re the brightest star of the night.

Eren closes his eyes and pretends he has the courage worthy of a chivalric deed.

He pretends that when you sit beside him after singing your song, he gently holds your wrist and pulls you close so that he can whisper, “I have to talk to you.” He pretends while your dulcet voice consumes him that you stare up at him confused while he stands up with you in tow and you’re asking, “What’s happening, ‘Ren? Where are you taking me?” Eren runs his hand through his short hair and pretends that you two got out of the karaoke place and he’s standing in front of you, admiring how beautiful you look tonight. His throat clogs up and he tries so hard to voice out his emotions through all the daffodils rooting themselves inside him. You wait for him with that pulchritudinous smile of yours that got him swooning, “It’s okay, ‘Ren, take your time.” Then, he opens his mouth to say the words he’s kept hidden for more than four years and your eyes would carry a thousand stars.

“I love you.”

Eren tightly closes his eyes, missing how you’re longingly yearning for him from across the karaoke room, the song reaching its last chorus.

Mikasa notices you trailing off, letting Jean take the lead in the song with Armin under his arm and Marco taking the role of cameraman — the three laughing their asses off. Mikasa’s heart breaks at the look on your face. Now, she knows why you picked this song. It was weird at first and she chose to brush this off. Now it makes sense.

You’re saying goodbye.

Mikasa follows your eyes and she’s greeted with the sight of Eren with his eyes closed, isolated from the fun. She feels pity wash over her, something that she has no control over. It was him you’re crying over that Mikasa had to hug you to sleep. It was him that you talked to her about with your beautiful smile. It was him you wished to bake cookies and pastries with on a spring day. Eren doesn’t know how lucky of a bastard he is that he caught the attention of the most brilliant girl to exist on the planet. Mikasa curses, “You fucking idiot, Eren.” She then watches you look away with teary eyes and it hurts her seeing you pretend everything is okay.

You plaster a huge smile on your face, the last chorus now colored with your voice.

It’s bittersweet because the moment you turn to your friends, Eren opens his eyes, misty with all the pretending he did in his mind.

He takes one look at you.

You never once look back at him.

You’re not Eren’s soulmate. It squeezes his chest in the most hurtful way possible but he’s slowly accepting it. Maybe if he chose to show his emotions in a completely different way, all this pretending wouldn’t even happen. Maybe if this were in a different worldline, he’d be brave enough to shout out that he loves you so much that it hurts just reaching out to tug on your hair. Maybe if he really did pull you out of the karaoke place to confess … Eren stopped the scenario in his head when it’s your turn to say something. He doesn’t want to know your reply and he won’t ever subject himself to hurt just overthinking about it.

Because one thing remains true even if this one-man show ends, you’re so beautiful and Eren will always be a part of the audience.

So, as you sing out the last note of the song, Eren says goodbye.

And it feels like Fate is mocking him because you look even more beautiful tonight.

general taglist (angst):

@bratckerman @tenaciouswritersheep @sweetheart-syndrome @galactict3a

general taglist form

i want a girlfriend.

Draco Malfoy Fic Recs I 🐍

New Beginnings by @sapphicwhxre

Not Really Mine by @gobletofweasleys

Draco Malfoy Masterlist by @iliveiloveiwrite

Do You Know? By @omg-imatotalmess

Worthy by @thegryffindorprincess

Possessive by @potterlyimagines

Shake On It  by @avnkin

Wardrobe Malfunction by  @avnkin

It’s Only Quidditch by @adorerdraco

New Me by @fanfics4all

I don’t have a name for this by @delilahsroses

Whole Lot of Red by @adorerdraco

Not My Type (Like You) by @adorerdraco

You by @socontagiousimagines

Im here by @adorerdraco

Two In A Bed by @thegryffindorprincess

Being Draco’s Best Friend and Crush Would Include by @mellowsobri

Not What It Seems by @avnkin

SHE by @ginnyweasely

Skin  by @mirclealignr

Ravishing by @afeb

saccharine sunshine. By @thepuffyeyedpuff

looking at the moon, but seeing you by @rekrappeter

you don’t love me the way you love her by @theshiningg

Bored  by @malfoysstilinski

Draco Malfoy Oneshots Masterlist by  @Sapphicwhxre 

Draco Malfoy Masterlist by  @iliveiloveiwrite

Ravenwood by @will-on-the-internet

I Am Home by @afeb

dating draco malfoy would include… by @reidsmalfoy

Demanding Little Thing by @nebulablakemurphy

Potent by @baby-blossoms

sweatshirt by @badfvith

Distractions and O.W.L.S by @adorerdraco

Not Funny by @pufflyhallows

Not Funny by @somenewsarah

My Moon by @afeb

Dating Draco Malfoy would include.. By @essenceoflumos

engraved  by @dracowars

Kiss It Better by @fandomsfeelsandfanfics

sweet mornings  by @scvrllet

Stargazing by @scvrllet

in her debt by @mirclealignr

Bad Faith  by @nebulablakemurphy

Betrothed by @somenewsarah

Close by @dracoscene

Connections by @randomoutsiders

YOU AND ME  by @dracoscene

back off  by @scvrllet

Spoiled  by @wondernimbus

four a.m by @malfoysstilinski

two sworn enemies by @wondernimbus

Yours and Mine; by @occlumencyneville

Healing Heart by @adorerdraco

the greatest seducer by @youralwaysandforever

Beautiful Ghosts by @missdawnandherdusk

Scars by @fuckingjimin

The Basilisk by @coffee-imagines

My Son by @miamlfy

Masterlist  by @socontagiousimagines

Happy Memories; by @occlumencyneville

Something There by @wizardwritings

Protective by @daydreaming-away-reality

Amortentia by @elena-reina

everything you didn’t say by @wondernimbus

Breaking point  by @wondernimbus

The bet by @shysneeze

Umbridge; by @occlumencyneville

Battleground by @wondernimbus

another summer morning by @wondernimbus

Rita Skeeter by @drac-ho

Fake kisses by @harrysweasleys

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include.... By @siriusly-lovely

Drowning  by @wreckofawriter

Maybe  by @wondernimbus

Words hurt  by @elena-reina

champions of the skies.

a redraw of this panel:

taglist: @animoozies

Dear Fanfiction Readers,

If you’re afraid to leave a review/comment because you think it’ll sound stupid, don’t be. Just leave an incoherent reply in all caps. We love that shit.

Sincerely,

A Fic Writer that needs constant validation. 

— 5, 1, 3.

okay,,, i just finished the heartslabyul dorm episode of twisted wonderland and i am crying because of riddle rosehearts 🤧😩❤❤