Trying To Figure Out If You’re Ace Or Aro Can Be So Goddamn Hard Because It’s Like, Trying To Find

Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so goddamn hard because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.

But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart. Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a tired expression.

But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would probably fuck something up.

So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.

More Posts from Blooranje and Others

11 months ago

Writing Software I Use & Recommend

Brainstorming:

Campfire: Great for organising your thoughts and making detailed character profiles, customised maps, worldbuilding, plot organisation—amongst other features. You can write your manuscript here and post it; and they have many helpful writing tips on their blog. Here's a general overview (customisable):

Writing Software I Use & Recommend
Writing Software I Use & Recommend

Notion: Although not conventionally a writing software, I find it immensely helpful for getting my thoughts sorted out. It's organised and easy to navigate, and the interface is manageable and uncluttered. (Keep in mind it's hard to cowrite on Notion—if you're planning to, I suggest making a separate Gmail account and both logging in with that.)

Writing Software I Use & Recommend

Microsoft Word, with spellcheck off, in Comic Sans (I saw the font thing somewhere and hate that it works). This is what I use when writing excerpts or spontaneous ideas, and it's actually quite effective, though I couldn't tell you why.

Writing/Editing:

Reedsy: The manuscript editor is organised and lets you set writing goals, split chapters, and jot down notes for later. I highly recommend it for authors looking to self-publish—once you're done, you can format and export your book as an eBook or PDF; and you can connect with various editors and find the one that's right for your novel.

Writing Software I Use & Recommend

Scrivener: Although, unlike the others I've mentioned so far, this software isn't free, the formatting is great for making an outline, collecting any research and notes, and writing your manuscript.

Writing Software I Use & Recommend

Feel free to add on any more you know of! Hope this was helpful ❤

4 months ago

Tags
11 months ago

writers' resources

sick of using "very _____" ? : https://www.losethevery.com/

want to simplify your writing ? : https://hemingwayapp.com/

writing buddies / motivation ? : https://nanowrimo.org

word you're looking for but don't know ? : https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

need a fantasy name ? : https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

need a fantasy name ? : https://nameberry.com/

want a name with meaning ? : https://www.behindthename.com/

who wants a map maker! : https://inkarnate.com/

story building / dnd ? : https://www.worldanvil.com/

need some minimalistic writing time ? : https://zenpen.io/

running out of ideas ? : https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/

setting a goal ? how about 3 pages / day ? : https://new.750words.com/

what food did they eat ? : https://www.foodtimeline.org/

questions on diversity within writing ? : https://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/

now what was that colour called ? : https://ingridsundberg.com/2014/02/04/the-color-thesaurus/

want more? : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lyralit :]

7 months ago

Mutual aid for Palestinian artists in Gaza!

This video is a poem written by Palestinian poet @mariampoetry and sung by the amazing Gazan singer Reem from Gaza. The video is taken by Mahmoud Shamia of the destruction from the past year throughout Gaza.

My friend Mariam is fundraising again for many different Gazan artists and their families, including Reem's, and wanted to ask for your help in gathering $8,000 to help support them this coming winter.

After a year of daily massacres, so many Palestinians in Gaza are feeling hopeless and let down by humanity. But Mariam decided to do something and I hope you can help with her mission!

So many of her friends have left their homes in a hurry leaving everything they own behind. They're lacking basic necessities with most people becoming displaced more than ten different times. And with winter on the horizon, they need warm clothes and blankets, to help them weather the long, cold nights, and womens' hygiene kits all of which are incredibly scarce and expensive.

Mariam has asked me to help with her efforts to collect funds for 8 of her friends and their families. We are hoping to send $1000 for each family to help them prepare for the harsh winter in tents amidst constant bombings.

Please help her out by sending money to her paypal @/miriampoet

As always, I will be updating you with funds collected every few days. We are setting the goal for $8,000 dollars. Any amount sent will help a Gazan family through this extraordinarily tough time.

PayPal.Me
Go to paypal.me/miriampoet and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
1 year ago

🇵🇸🕊

🇵🇸🕊

links:

decolonizepalestine

demand a ceasefire

pious project - feminine hygiene products

counting the kids

eSims for gaza

careforgaza (gofundme), careforgaza (twitter)

arab.org

palestine academic reading list

palestine children's relief fund

please do whatever you can and DO NOT stop sharing and talking about palestine!

4 months ago

attention spans are easy to recapture and cage back into your head. you just need to practice staring at walls for an hour every two days and letting your mind think itself out of boredom death. the wall becomes the screen. no one validates you for this but after a month of this you notice daisies when they come about. you notice things no one films but theyre beautiful all the same

11 months ago

Ever seen a Golden Tiger sneeze?

(Source)

7 months ago

man i don't know how to say this but gazans here are risking their lives to make posts asking for help. they are asking for you to contribute a small amount of money to buy food or medicines or get shelter.

whether we like it or not, we are complicit in this genocide. either because of our silence, or because our tax money if being used to bomb them. i thought that people would be more eager to help gazans, trying to 'reverse' the damage somehow.

contrary to what i thought, people are moving on. they're moving on from the al-shifa hospital strike, they're moving on from refugee camp massacres and from school bombings, they're moving on from dead children and orphaned children.

please don't be indifferent. help my friend alaa amsse [ @alaakh998 ]. she urgently needs money to buy a new tent. she needs medicine for her sick son. her tent was flooded and she needs to buy supplies. please please help her if you have the means to. her fundraiser has been verified by 90-ghost and the butterfly project (#307).

donate

3 months ago

Preach😈

This Is Me Irl Incase Anybody Was Curious

This is me irl incase anybody was curious

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blooranje - Wednesday's child is full of Woah~
Wednesday's child is full of Woah~

'𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑒!' 𝟣9, ♊, She/They 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝙱𝚂𝙳, 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚗, 𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚌: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕, 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣(!!!) 𝚎𝚝𝚌. {𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚜 𝚗𝚐𝚕.} 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

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